


If It Sounds Like A Good Idea, It Probably Isn't

by EmeraldNorth



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-03-20 07:45:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 57,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13713144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmeraldNorth/pseuds/EmeraldNorth
Summary: Being a big brother is hard. Being a big brother is even harder when your little sister is a psychopath who commands terrorists and space pirates. Being a big brother is at its hardest when your little sister frequently ends up in questionable situations with a certain blonde sadist.Yorozuya!Kamui and Harusame!Kagura; Semi-AU; OkiKagu; OOCness!Cross-posted from my FF.net





	1. An Idiot With An Umbrella Is Bad News

**Author's Note:**

> This story is complete, but since I'm slowly bringing over everything from my FF.net, you won't get all the chapters here in one shot... One every few days or so...

"So… you're telling us you just happened to be in Yoshiwara around the exact same time the evil Overlord Housen was brutally murdered?" Okita looked up from his clipboard raising an inquisitive brow at the three individuals sitting across from him. "I have a hard time believing that, Boss."

The light in the interrogation room flickered slightly, casting strong shadows across the room.

The other side of the table was occupied by three  _very_  suspicious people, one of which was trembling terribly and spewing out sweat like a fountain. "We're telling you that because that's what happened! We were just helping out a kid who was looking for his mother!" Shinpachi sputtered.

"Ehhhhh, what's with these excuses? Why would some kid be running around Yoshiwara? Even if he was looking for his mommy, it could have been anyone there… Even if his mother was really there, I highly doubt you'd want to find out that mommy was a courtesan." Okita answered lazily. His eyes flickered to something on his clipboard and he reached for the brush on the table.

"It's not an excuse!" Shinpachi gestured wildly, frantically trying to defend himself. "Ask Seita yourself!"

"As if," The Shinsengumi captain scoffed. "Unlike you guys, I actually work and don't have time for playing around. Besides, snotty little brats are easily manipulated."

"Why do I have the feeling you're speaking from experience?" Shinpachi muttered to himself, then glanced over at the other two members of the Yorozuya. "Aren't you two going to say anything? Help me out here!"

Both of them had their arms crossed in front of themselves, serious their faces set in serious expressions. The silver-haired one was the first to begin talking. "You say that we shouldn't have helped a young boy find the mother he loves, the mother he needs, the mother who has been praying for his safety all these years? A mother is the most precious gift this world has blessed us with, after all, who else would listen to us cry for days with no end, feed us when we're hungry, bring us blankets when we're cold, love us even though we are the ugliest being on the planet and kick us in the ass when we are being lazy and she wants to watch her latest soap opera? Who else could put up with a bastard like you, who else but your loving mother?"

He ended his heartfelt speech with a solemn pose, consisting of letting his face disappear behind his palm before gently nudging the final member of the trio to continue.

Following with perfcet timing, Kamui broke out of his serious pose and pointed an accusing finger at Okita. "Perhaps you, a Super Sadist, cannot comprehend the importance of a loving, caring mother, but we, we do. And we cherish them all. I wouldn't care what kind of profession my mother had to take on, I would still love her, for being my mother is all that is necessary. A heartless bastard like you is undeserving of such love, yes, even trying to accuse us of a murder we clearly didn't commit, have you no mercy for the people who have gone poor thanks to you tax-robbers?" A fake tear peaked out of the corner of his eye before he ended his part equally to his silver-haired conspirator.

"Yes, we sufferers deserve compensation of some sort, don't we?" Gintoki expertly feigned hurt as he turned away, a shy tear peering out of his eyes, a performance worthy of the finest theatre production.

Shinpachi's eye twitched.

"WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE?! SOME SORT OF DRAMA?!" He shouted, flipping the frail grey table which flew against the stark white wall of the interrogation room, clattering to the ground in a painful cacophony.

"Oi, oi, Pattsuan, you didn't have to do that, tables have feeling as well, you know?" Gintoki lazily stuck his finger into his nostril and sighed at the sight of the poor, clobbered table on the ground. "Look at it, it's sulking now."

"It's a table, tables don't sulk!" Shinpachi yelled back.

"That's only because you refuse to listen to their silent whimpers." Kamui added solemnly, folding his hands into a prayer.

"They're inanimate objects! Don't kid around here!"

"All right, I'm putting you down as the culprits, have fun in prison and watch out for the soap." Okita casually interrupted their dispute.

"We told you already, we didn't do it. He was already dead when we got there, you know? Dead, like Itachi." Gintoki explained while waving his hand. "And can I get a parfait? I'm kinda hungry."

"Oh, can I get a bowl of rice then?" Kamui chipped in.

"Do you idiots think this is some sort of restaurant? We only have expired katsudon here. And besides, wasn't Itachi resurrected later on?" The First Division Captain tapped his brush against his chin while pondering. "That makes your statement void."

"He died again later, didn't he? But fine, I'll correct myself. He was dead, like Jiraya."

"But if it wasn't you guys, who was it then? There was nobody else around, and the witnesses say they saw a shady redhead with a purple umbrella fighting the old guy. Sounds like China Boy over here." Sougo stretched out his thumb and gestured towards the Yato in the room.

"Why would I fight old man Housen? He's nothing but an old has-been. He was my old man's rival BHL. Ancient history." The Yato made a cross with his arms to convey his message.

"...BHL?"

" **B** efore  **H** air  **L** oss. Besides, why would I carry around my umbrella in Yoshiwara?" Kamui stuffed his hands into his pockets, leaning further into the cheap chair they had been given. "It was always night there, at least until we found the gum that was jamming the handle in the control room."

Gintoki's eyes were wide and staring straight at him. "Umi-baldy actually had hair at some point?!" He asked in disbelief.

"That's what you get from all that?" Shinpachi muttered in defeat.

"Yes, how else do you think he won over somebody as pretty as our mother?" Kamui answered smugly, ignoring Shinpachi.

"Well, she was lonely and he was a guy… I mean… You know… It wouldn't be surprising for her to jump the first guy she sees in years… Isn't that how those housewife stories always go?"

"Are you comparing my mother to a desperate housewife?!"

* * *

Sougo blinked at the trio, especially at the silver-haired member in the middle who was now sporting an unhealthy complexion and multiple bumps and cuts. The blood dripping across his face didn't look all that healthy either.

"Back on topic, you carry that umbrella around everywhere, we've known each other long enough for me to say that with conviction. With that your reasoning is null."

Kamui clicked his tongue. "Attentive bastard."

"I happens to be part of my job." Sougo straightened his cravat. "So, any other shifty-looking redheads with umbreallas you can think of as scapegoats?"

He had meant it as a joke, but something about the Yato's sudden change in posture told him he might actually be onto something. Almost defensively (annd waaaay too obviously) Kamui directed his gaze towards the remains of the table near the wall.

It took a few seconds, maybe minutes, but he finally answered the question. "I have an idiot little sister, Kagura. She's also probably the one you should be looking for."

"Ooooh, blaming it on some random character that hasn't made an appearance yet, clever." The captain mock-applauded.

"No, I'm serious though. She's a psycho bitch who just happens to be Housen's disciple. She's also probably capable of killing him, considering that he was only lounging around in Yoshiwara the whole time. And even Pops calls my idiot sister an elephant."

"If she's your sister, she must be some kind of ugly pig-elephant-monster. Are you sure your mother was pretty and not just some wild animal?" Sougo drawled daringly.

Kamui's blue eyes ignited with rage and he leapt out of his chair, ready to unload his fury on a certain suicidal captain. "You want to say that again?"

Shinpachi stuffed his earphones into his ears, ramming the volume to the max, hoping to drown out the idiocy around him with Otsuu's newest single.

"Tch, kids these days." The silver-haired man mumbled while fishing out a JUMP out of his pocket.

* * *

"In other words, I can close this case." Okita deadpanned. "It doesn't look like your sister's gonna come knocking on our door anytime soon." He put down his brush and walked over to the door, or rather, what was left of it. "Get out of here and don't cause too much trouble, otherwise we'll just arrest you again."

He ushered them out through hte hallway, and just as he was about to kick them out through the front gates, a very distraught Yamazaki cut him off mid-way. "Captain Okita! Captain Okita! There's trouble!"

"What is it?" The captain asked annoyed. "It's almost my nap time."

"Captain, your nap has to wait! It's one of the four Devas of Kabuki! She was attacked at the park!" Yamazaki reported hurriedly. "The vice-chief is already on his way there!"

"Why are you just standing here? Get me a patrol car right now!" Okita ordered, leaving the Yorozuya behind.

"Hey… you don't think that that was…" Shinpachi gasped, dread building up in his expression. It couldn't be, right...?

"…Otose?!" Kamui finished with wide eyes. "We have to get there now!"

They dashed out of the Shinsengumi compound, Kamui jumping on Sadaharu's back while Gintoki and Shinpachi started the scooter. It came to life with a roar, and with complete disregard of traffic rules, they rushed to the park. If somebody attacked Otose and thought they could get away with it, they were in for quite the surprise...!

* * *

Gintoki was the first to jump off his vehicle and run towards the scene, the other two close behind him. As he suddenly came to a halt and the other two ran into his back, cursing, he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

The paramedics were already there, carrying a gurney with a body on it, a cloth covering it from head to toe. Like a  _dead_  body. Shinsengumi members were everywhere, blocking off the area, redirecting passers-by and shouting random things into their radios. The details were lost to the trio as the world around them began to waver.

"No… Otose…" Shinpachi whispered in disbelief.

"We were too late…" Gintoki muttered, anger and shock lacing his words. How could this be?!

"Damnit… Who would do something like this?!" Kamui clenched his hands at his side, his grip on his umbrella tightening.

"Oi, what are you three idiots doing here?" The smoke of a lit cigarette hit their noses as the familiar voice approached them.

"Hijikata… Do you think… do you think we could say goodbye to…"

"…to the old hag?" Gintoki finished Shinpachi's question.

Confusion made its way to Hijikata's face as he scrunched his brow. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Can we… see the old hag's body?" He specified.

"I still don't know what old hag you're talking about." The vice-chief blew out some smoke.

"We just want to see Otose one more time before you take her away." Kamui explained with still clenched fists.

"If you want to see Otose, go to the snack bar, she ain't here."

"But… the body… we heard that one of the four devas was attacked…"

"Yeah, one of them was attacked, but it wasn't Otose." He threw his cigarette bud to the ground and stepped on it. "It was Princess Peacock. It's funny, you know. A while back, there was this one guy who kept telling me how beautiful she was and all that, but now I don't think he'll ever call her beautiful again." He fished out another cigarette and lit it. "I mean, we barely even identified her."

The crackling of static filled the air. " _Vice-Chief, this is First Squad asking for assistance, I repeat, First Squad asking for assistance!"_

He grunted as he dug the radio out of his pocket. "Yeah, what do you need?"

" _Captain Okita has engaged the suspect in battle, requesting back-up!"_

"That fucking idiot." He grumbled. "Where are you exactly? And what are the specifics on the suspect?"

" _We're near the fountain, sir. The suspect is wearing a hood and a cloak, so we can't identify him. But he's using an umbrella to fight! Fuck! It can also shoot bullets! Everyone, take cover!"_  The officer's distraught voice rang from the speakers.

The four of them stood there for a moment in silence, blank looks on their faces as the hysterics continued over the radio.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Hijikata gritted out through his teeth. "A Yato? And Sougo is fighting him?"

"Let me handle this." Kamui spoke up, dashing off before anybody could say anything else.

"…"

"We better go as well before they destroy the entire park…"

* * *

_15 minutes earlier…_

Sougo stared down at the bloody mess on the lawn. The woman's corpse was mangled and mutilated, her blue hair dyed red in her own blood and sprawled over the lawn, but he noticed two things.

One, whoever did this wanted the princess to suffer, and two, the culprit dug out the victim's eyes, probably with their bare hands. While the first suspects that came to his mind were gamblers who lost everything at her casinos, that didn't seem quite right. Whatever the reason was for this crime, it was more than just somebody with a streak of bad luck. Her empty eye sockets were filled with crimson liquid oozing out.

He knelt down next to corpse and took notice of something else: all of her fingers were broken and bent at odd angles. Whatever hidden meaning that may have held, this was definitely the work of a fellow sadist. He stood up again and signalled his squad to assemble.

"Alright, we're going to sweep the park for clues and suspects, understood?" He announced.

"Yes, sir!" They collectively answered.

He grinned. "First Squad, moving out!"

Like the responsible supervising officer he was, he moved out along with his men, wandering around the park with his eyes peeled for anything that seemed out of place. Two minutes in and he found something: the blood on his shoes. His  _new_  shoes.

"Yuck, now I've got alien blood on my shoes." He murmured to himself as he splashed some of the fountain water on his shoes. A nearby splash alerted him of somebody else dipping their hands into the water, but he ignored it at first. That was until he saw the streaks of red spreading into the clear water, accompanied by the tinge of iron in the air. He knew that colour, and he knew that smell. His gaze shot to the side, fixating themselves on the source of the blood, an individual in an all-too familiar get-up.

Those goggles and the all-obscuring cloak practically screamed  _Yato._  An admittedly short Yato, to boot.

"Are you trying to wash your hands in innocence?" He asked playfully while gripping the handle of his sword. "I'm afraid that's not going to work!" He drew his katana and slashed it at the cloaked form, but was blocked by a purple umbrella.

"My my, what do we have here? Another idiot who walks around with an umbrella on a perfectly sunny day." He mused, excitement glinting in his burgundy eyes. "I guess you're lucky it's cloudy today."

He released his sword and decided to try a swing from the side, but the umbrella effectively blocked it once more. A kick struck his stomach when his opponent put his weight on the umbrella and swung out his leg, but Sougo quickly caught his breath again as the Yato dropped low, probably targeting his legs. He jumped up in time to avoid being hit by the flurry of bullets that came out of the umbrella and landed behind the Yato. Without hesitating, he drew his sword once more, successfully cutting into his opponent's shoulder.

The Yato looked at his wounded arm for a second before charging his umbrella right back at him. The sword and the umbrella clashed, but Sougo attacked with the assurance that his blade would reach his enemy. He could visualize it, the blade slicing through the umbrella, followed by the Yato's neck. No matter how much brute strength they had, even they needed their aortas, after all.

He gasped when the remains of the umbrella were shoved into his face, a sharp edge catching the skin on his cheek in the process. Begrudgingly, he had to accepth that his blade was reduced to shards now, leaving it useless. Coming to a similar conclusion, the Yato opted to discard his weapon and go for hand-to-hand combat.

Sougo complied and reciprocated with a punch. The Yato blocked it effortlessly, maneuvering around to kick him in the ribcage. Despite being unable to fully guard against it, Sougo grinned, ignoring the blood he had coughed up involuntarily. This adrenaline pumping through his veins, this rush of pure bloodlust... This was what he lived for. He used the proximity to his advantage, his hand shooting out, aiming straight for his opponent's throat. Said opponent sensed the danger, shifting slightly to avoid his attack, which in turn threw him off balance and making his hand land on the Yato's chest.

The Shinsengumi officer's eyes widened slightly as he realized what it meant when his hand met with something soft and bouncy instead of the expected hard board. The Yato grabbed his wrist with his- no,  _her_ \- hand and crushed it.

"I didn't think the police officers on Earth would stoop as low as sexual harassment." The female voice spoke up, slightly muffled due to the scarf covering her lower face.

Sougo chuckled, a sadistic glint in his eye. "That was harmless. I can show you real sexual harassment."

"I'd like to see you try, considering you only have one useful hand left." She retorted.

"That's all I need." He grinned.

Ignoring the pain in his left wrist he yanked it out of the female Yato's hold and launched a kick towards her stomach.

"Want to tell me why Princess Kada was deprived of her eyes?" He asked the Yato as she dodged his foot and retorted with a punch towards his face.

"She had them set on something she couldn't have." She replied cryptically. He ducked from the punch and attempted to elbow her in the ribs.

"And why did you break all of her fingers?" He inquired further. She made a grab for his arm.

"She took something that didn't belong to her." He pulled back his limb in time to escape her clutches.

"Oh, yeah? Whom did it belong to?" He felt his nose crack as her fist made contact with his face.

"Since you're quite entertaining, I'll give you some details." She pulled back her arm for another punch. "It belonged to the Elders."

"The Harusame?" Okita asked in surprise as he grabbed onto her scarf and yanked it off.

"Very good. You know your stuff." This time he heard her voice clearly and saw her pale, white skin. Her lips were pulled into a grin.

"So how'd she get her hands on it?" He rammed his elbow into her with his full body weight.

"She was one of them." His attack knocked her back considerably, the momentum making her hood slide down.

Deep vermillion locks flowed over her shoulders. She clicked her tongue. "There's no use hiding my appearance anymore considering the fact that you're practically undressing me." She pouted as she slid her goggles up and rested them on her head, revealing bright blue eyes that seemed awfully familiar.

Okita grinned. "I didn't think I'd get to meet the elephant right off the bet, how surprising. I was kind of hoping for a cute chick."

She pulled the heavy cloak off her shoulders, dropping it to the ground and gave him a saccharine smile. "Don't worry, you'll think I'm the cutest thing around once I've gouged your eyes out."

She launched her fist at him, extending her index and middle fingers, unapologetically aiming for his eyes. He noted that she was considerably faster now, but equally more exposed. He dodged the attack and instead made a grab for her red locks, grabbing a handful and pulling as hard as he could, making them both crash to the ground with him hovering over her.

He ignored the sickening crunch of his already shattered wrist impacting on the ground.

"I like seeing other people suffer because of me, you know? Like you right now." He whispered, his red eyes boring into her blue ones, faces mere inches apart.

"You fucking bastard." She muttered under her breath and kneed him between his legs. He grunted in pain and released his hold on her tresses.

"Goddamn bitch." He cursed as he fell back.

"Serves you right." She replied victoriously as she stood up.

Sougo clenched his teeth and willed his legs to move, headbutting her in the face. She let out a series of curse words as blood began trickling down the corner of her mouth, and before he could even blink her fist sunk into his ribs, a laboured laugh escaping her mouth as she revelled in the crunching sound of bones breaking. he sunk back to his knees against his own will, followed by her grabbing his face and slamming his head into the ground. Then, as if for good measure, she stomped on his shin, laughing even louder as the bones shifted.

"Not so tough now, are you, Mr. Policeman?" She mocked, a blinding, blood-stained smile on her face. "Don't worry, in return for giving me some entertainment, I'll make this quick. So first, tell me your name."

He looked up at her through his blood-soaked bangs and smirked. "Shinsengumi First Squad Captain, Sougo Okita. Don't you dare think this is the end."

"Harusame Seventh Squad Captain, Kagura." She introduced herself. "And now, please die." She smiled innocently as she pulled back her fist.

"Kagura, eh?" He chuckled and then winced at the pain it came with. "So you're China Boy's little sister, huh?"

"That's right." A familiar voice spoke up from next to him.

* * *

"I told you already, I have no use for weaklings." She smacked the hand that had intercepted her fist away, catching the attacking umbrella before it could damage her with ease.

"And I told you I'd fix that twisted thinking of yours." Kamui clenched his teeth, yanking the umbrella out of her hold. Just as he was about to strike again, another umbrella came down between them.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Abuto?" Kagura spat out murderously.

"We have to leave now, Commander, otherwise we'll be late for the meeting. And I believe I mentioned this before," the blonde man glanced at Kamui, "but I dislike seeing Yato blood being spilled. And I think you've played enough for today. Let's go." He dumped her cloak on her.

She harrumphed and pouted, then glanced back at her brother and the man she had been fighting against mere moments ago. "The next time I see you, I'll surely kill you two." She smiled at them and waved, threw on her cloak and disappeared in the distance.

His conciousness wavered, but Sougo fought it as long as he could. "Heh,... go ahead... and try... bitch."

"Oi, sadist, don't lose your conciousness here!" Somebody began shaking his injured body violently. He was forced to cough once more, the taste of blood filling his mouth. Keeping his eyes open was suddenly so exhausting, and the last thing he remembered before black faded in were muted voices calling out to him.

"Sougo!"

"Souichirou!"

* * *

"…and that's why you're stuck in the hospital for the next two weeks."

"Can you do me a favour and die? I'm sure it will help me recover faster." Okita asked him hopefully.

"I don't think that's the question you should be asking right now…" Hijikata sweatdropped.


	2. Let's Try Exorcising Germs!

"Surprisingly enough, that monster was telling the truth." The Shinsengumi vice-chief lit his cigarette.

"She was? What did you find out?" Sougo asked him while eating his pudding cup.

"Looks like our little Princess Kada was the Fourth Squad Captain of the Harusame. She ran off with quite the huge sum of money and upset the higher-ups, so they sent the seventh squad after her." Hijikata let out a puff of smoke. "Apparently that's what the seventh squad is for, cleaning up messes." He frowned. "After some more digging, we found out that Housen was part of the spring cleaning."

"Hijikata…"

"Yes, Sougo?"

"It's autumn."

"Shut up or commit seppuku."

* * *

"...what are the two of you doing?" Shinpachi asked his fellow Yorozuya, irritation welling up inside him at the sight he was greeted with that morning.

"Can't you see? We have chosen to follow the path of the warrior!" Gintoki exclaimed while raising his fist before resuming his previous position, scrunching his bows in deep concentration.

"I have to become stronger if I want to defeat Kagura." Kamui added solemnly. "And that requires rigorous training."

"I don't think that's how you're supposed do it…" Shinpachi tried to point out, but as usual, he was shot down quickly.

"Be quiet, Pattsuan, we have to concentrate."

"I'm actually one hundred –no, one thousand- percent sure that's not how you do it!"

"PSSHHHT!" Kamui hissed.

"It's your fault we have to start from the beginning again, can't you be more considerate?" Gintoki shook his head in disappointment before resetting everything.

"Since we're starting over, can I have the red figurine?" The Yato asked while shuffling the deck of cards.

"Hmm, good point. In that case, I'll take the yellow one."

Shinpachi looked down at the two idiots he called co-workers as they sat around the table in their office playing snakes-and-ladders and UNO simultaneously.

"Could you at least try to act seriously every now and then?!" He screamed in frustration as he slammed a fist down on the table.

"Draw Two." Gintoki triumphantly laid down his card.

"Draw Four. I pick green." Kamui smugly replied.

"Are you guys even listening to me?" Shinpachi's shoulders sagged as he gave up.

"Dammit, now I have to draw another card." The silver-haired man mumbled, ignoring him.

"This will be an easy win for me." Kamui smirked as he put another card on the stack.

"Hold your horses, Kamui, hold your horses." Gintoki left space for a dramatic pause. "If you truly want to defeat your sister... Let's see you beat this!" He slammed his card down on the table.

"Gin!" Kamui gasped. "This is… this is… this is the wrong card game, you moron!" The now upset Amanto grabbed the Pokémon card and shoved it into the samurai's face along with his fist. "And why'd you pick an Eevee of all things?!"

"You have to expect the unexpected! And I was hoping to evolve it! Even you can't deny the awesomeness of a Vapereon!" Gintoki stood up in a flash, using his palm to push his nose back into place, and using his other hand to accusingly point his finger at his roommate.

"It's still the wrong game, numbskull! And Flareons are way better!" Kamui stood up as well, glaring at the silver-haired man.

"Nonsense, you will never defeat my Water Style Jutsu!" Gintoki started doing hand signs to demonstrate his point.

"As if your lame Jutsu could ever stop my Ryuujin Jakka! Bankai, Zanka no Tachi!"

"GAHHHH! STOP IT! THE COPYRIGHT! THE COPYRIGHT!" Shinpachi desperately attempted to stop the two of them.

"SHUT UP, GLASSES!" The fighting duo shouted at him in sync.

"Nobody ever listens to me…" Shinpachi whimpered while the office was being torn apart - yet again.

* * *

"Captain Okita!"

"What do you want?" He asked disinterested. The man in front of him bowed deeply.

"Welcome back, Captain Okita!" We hope you've recovered well!" The obviously intimidated officer mechanically screamed. Poor bugger probably lost at Rock-Paper-Scissors.

"Yeah yeah, I'm just peachy, so don't interrupt my naptime. And stop shouting." He waved the subordinate away.

"O-Of course, Captain Okita! We know you will put the criminal in his place the next time for sure!" The idiot continued to shout. He sighed.

"Yes, whatever, now shut up and leave me alone. No wait, actually being defeated has made me really frustrated." Sougo drawled monotonously. "Want to let me take it out on you?" He asked innocently.

"I-I'll take my leave at once!" The officer scampered away with his tail between his legs.

"What a pain…" Okita muttered once the man was gone.

He thought back to what he had said. Put the criminal in his place? Well, first of all, it'd have to be  _her_  place, if already, and quite frankly, Sougo was having doubts.

Could he really put that monster in its place once and for all?

He knew not to underestimate a Yato's strength, his first fights with Kamui taught him that. Bones tended to shatter a lot faster than he'd like them to. He looked down at his left hand, which was still in a thick cast. He frowned as he remembered the doctor telling him that the extent of the fracture was a miracle in itself. That if the bone had been shattered at any other spot, he wouldn't have been able to hold a sword again.

The thought that that girl was playing him unnerved him. It was as if she knew, and she was silently telling him to entertain her once more, the next time they met. If there was a next time, of course.

He smirked to himself. Of course there'd be a next time. After all, her big brother was still on this blue planet.

And he couldn't wait to show that bitch who was boss.

* * *

Kamui sneezed.

"Oi, don't come any closer if you're coming down with a cold!" Gintoki tried warding him off by crossing his arms.

"Gin, that's not going to protect you from germs…" Kamui mumbled while wiping his nose.

"Germs are tiny little demons, so it'll work." He stated full of conviction.

"Whatever you say…" The Yato mumbled as he readjusted his umbrella. "So, what's this cat look like again?" He referenced their latest job assignment.

"The owner said it's hard to miss." The leader of the Yorozuya said, checking under one of the near-by benches.

"That can mean all sorts of things." The redhead sighed in exasperation. He pushed a few branches out of the way as he checked the bushes. "I hope Shinpachi isn't slacking off anywhere…" He muttered.

"You know how those glasses are, he probably found another virtual girlfriend and got lost with her. Who knows, she probably has to make the first move again." Gintoki explained.

"True, true." Kamui nodded in agreement.

"What the hell do you think you're talking about it?!" A furious Shinpachi shot out from one of the trees.

"Oh, look, there he is." The samurai mocked. "Have you found the pussy yet?"

"Stop using such obscene words!"

"Why, what's wrong with saying pussy? We  _are_  looking for a cat…" Kamui pointed out.

"I'm surrounded by idiots and morons."

"There! That's the stupid cat!" Gintoki suddenly shouted out as he lurched at a big, fat furball.

"After it!" The Yato threw himself on it.

"Gahhh! Kamui, don't crush it!"

* * *

"Thank you so much for returning my cat to me." The old lady smiled at them and handed them an envelope. "Here's your reward."

"Ah, please, it was our pleasure." Gintoki replied, eyeing the envelope greedily.

"F-food…" The redhead of the trio drooled.

"Unbelievable…" Shinpachi facepalmed.

They left their client's house and headed down the road. The sun was setting, leaving the horizon dyed in red hues.

"So, what do you feel like eating tonight?" Gintoki asked his fellow Yorozuya.

"Rice wit-" Kamui started.

"No rice." The silver-haired man interjected sharply.

"In that case, anything but Otae's cooking." He complied.

"Don't let Big Sis hear you say that…"

* * *

Kamui patted his full and satisfied stomach as they left the All-You-Can-Eat restaurant after being kicked out due to the redhead's black hole of a stomach.

"Seriously, who knew such rude people still lived around here?" Gintoki complained, flicking off a booger.

"The two of you were undoubtedly the rude ones there." Shinpachi deadpanned.

"Well, that was a good meal one way or another."

"But for real, how the hell did you live while growing up? I mean, how much food did your mother cook for you every day?" The adult of their group pondered.

All of the sudden, Kamui came to a stop. "How much food my mother cooked for us?" He repeated softly.

"Yeah…" Gintoki cautiously continued.

Kamui shook his head with a hint of sadness. "Mami didn't cook for us, she was too sick to." He put on a fake smile. "Usually Kagura and I just cooked all the rice we could find." He added nostalgically.

"I've been meaning to ask you this for some time, Kamui…" Shinpachi said. "How did your sister end up becoming… that?" He asked worriedly.

Kamui looked at the plain boy. He guessed he felt affected due to having a sister too, albeit an older and not a younger one.

"She just wanted to be strong." He continued smiling. "Strong enough to help our mother overcome her sickness, and strong enough to …to… fix our family." He trailed off. "Can we not talk about this?" He asked quietly.

"O-of course, I didn't mean to pry or anything!" Shinpachi frantically waved his hands from side to side while shaking his head rapidly.

Kamui nodded solemnly and continued walking. He didn't really want to think about his idiotic sister right now.

* * *

Kagura sneezed. She frowned while wiping her nose.

"Did you catch some kind of illness during our time on Earth?" Her second-in-command inquired from beside her.

"Don't be ridiculous, Abuto." She scoffed. "If I could catch an illness from a few days on that planet, my brother would have already croaked a long time ago, and I wouldn't have to worry about doing it myself."

"I really wish you wouldn't fight your brother." The blonde man sighed. "We Yato are rare enough as it is."

"I don't recall asking your opinion." She glared at him. "And if you aren't careful, your love for the Yato blood will be your downfall one day."

"I'll keep that in mind." He gulped. He kind of planned on not losing his head to his captain's bad temper today. He glanced at the clock on the wall. "It's almost time for you to meet the admiral. We should get going."

"Already?" She pouted. "I don't really want to talk to Admiral Asshole right now."

"I heard the chef say something about cooking a lot of rice today." He tempted her nonchalantly.

"What are you waiting for, Abuto, grab my captain's coat!" She extended her hand to receive said garment from her vice-captain.

"You're too easy to bribe…" He sighed in defeat as he slipped the red coat over his captain's slender frame.

"Did you say something?" She asked him sweetly.

"Just that we have to hurry." He played it off, attempting to hide the shiver of fear running down his spine.

She eyed him suspiciously before nodding slowly. "Right…"

They walked to the meeting room in silence.

"Do you know what he wants from me?" She tilted her head back, looking up at her subordinate.

"Probably another mess for us to clean up."

"Don't you think it's a bit weird? All of the clean-up requests coming in at once?"

"Maybe. However, ultimately, only time can tell."

"… You're right, I'm probably just overthinking this." She let out a sigh.

They came to a stop, eyeing the two Amanto in front of the posh double-doors.

"Captain Kagura reporting in. I was summoned here by the admiral." She announced herself. The two guards glanced at each other before one of them opened the door for her. She strode past them proudly, her heels hitting the marble floor of the admiral's office. True enough, there was an array of dishes with rice spread out over the table.

"Captain Kagura, take a seat." The pudgy admiral pointed to the seat at the far side of the table. "I'm sure you haven't eaten anything yet."

"How kind of you, Admiral As- Abou." She mentally patted herself on her shoulder for the close save. She sat down and started devouring the first dish she could get her hands on.

"As I'm sure you are aware, I didn't invite you here to empty our food stock." The Amanto started. He was answered by a muffled "Mhm." as the Yato grabbed the next plate.

"You see, there's been something bothering me for some time now." He continued. "There's a group of people I can't trust yet, but they could be valuable allies." Another nod.

"I want you to follow them and record all of their movements. If they do anything suspicious…" He locked eyes with her. "… take care of it."

She swallowed her current mouthful of food. "Sure thing, admiral. But that's not all you wanted me for, right?" She gave him a knowing look while reaching for the next bowl.

"Insightful, aren't you?" He chuckled. "But for now, let's just leave it at that. Keep tabs on the Kiheitai."

She licked the remains off the last plate. "Roger." She smiled.

* * *

"They're heading to Earth?" Kagura asked the other Yato in mild surprise.

"Yes." Abuto frowned at the report. "It seems they plan to topple the government there. Their leader apparently wants to meet up with a former comrade there to meet some common goal an-"

"Bla bla bla, whatever. It means I can eat earthling food again." She smiled as she thought about the heavenly goods known as sukonbu she had discovered during her last stay on the blue planet. Her thoughts also wandered to the police swordsman and her no-good brother, but they quickly returned to food.

"Please remember our priorities. We're there on a mission, so don't let yourself get distracted." Abuto reminded her.

"Don't worry, I'll have my eyes on the job." She reassured him.

* * *

Her eyes were anywhere but the job. In fact, she wasn't anywhere to be found. Abuto sighed from his position on a roof top as he watched the one-eyed leader of the Kiheitai talk to a suspicious looking man with long black hair under a bridge. The Renho accompanying the man seemed normal enough, though.

The long-haired man seemed upset about something and said something that made both men place their hands on their sword hilts. They both looked like they were about to kill each other when something interrupted them. Both of their heads snapped up and looked to their sides, at something that was effectively blocked from the Yato's view. He let out a silent curse as he swiftly jumped to the next roof top, careful to control his strength. He continued running along the roof tops until he found a suitable angle.

Once he got a clear view of what had interrupted the two men he felt like letting himself drop to the ground and not standing up again. Like ever.

Because standing there, with a wide grin, was his captain who was holding an impossible amount of dango in her arms, munching away happily and tossing the empty sticks in the river, striking up a conversation with their target.

He facepalmed. That stupid little girl really didn't understand observational jobs.

He facepalmed once more when the man with the long hair put his hand on his captain's shoulder and began to lead her away. Abuto caught sight of the writing on the Renho's sign before the four of them left his field of vision once more.

"Welcome to the Joishishi!"

* * *

"So Takasugi came to see you, huh Zura?" Gintoki furrowed his eyebrows.

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura. And yes, he wanted the Kiheitai and the Joishishi to join forces and take down the Bakufu once and for all." Katsura reported. "Apparently something came up within the Harusame. None of them dare to do business on Earth anymore for some reason."

"Not just some reason. They've been tying up their loose ends lately." Kamui added. "The idiot sadist told me that's what my sister told him. They're tightening the leashes on their dogs."

He plopped down on the couch next to Gintoki.

"I see. That would explain why Takasugi thinks this is the best point in time. Without the Harusame meddling in affairs here, it would be easiest to take the government down." The rebel pondered.

"I don't think that's safe to say. Who knows how far the corruption runs?" Shinpachi pointed out. "If you make one wrong move you might have an entire crime syndicate breathing down your necks. And Kamui's sister looked like she could deal more than enough damage on her own. Who knows what other monsters the Harusame has?" He shuddered as he remembered visiting Okita in the hospital.

"Don't be ridiculous, Glasses." Kamui scolded. "She's without a doubt the biggest monster they have."

"Can you not sound so proud when saying that?" Shinpachi muttered in defeat.

* * *

"Leader." The man bowed deeply, presenting a small box.

"Yes?" A female voice spoke.

"We have your sukonbu, Leader." The man replied.

"Leave it on the table." The woman pointed towards the low table in front of her.

"Of course!" The man answered immediately, carrying out her order and shuffling out of the room.

A few minutes later, the door slid open again, revealing a man with long, black hair.

"Katsura." The redhead greeted him.

"Leader, it's time for you to join me on a stakeout." The Joi rebel explained to his newest recruit.

Kagura nodded and grabbed the wide-brimmed straw hat on her way out of the room. He lead the way out of their hide-out and they started walking down the streets of Edo in comfortable silence. A few passers-by gave the duo an odd glance, but said nothing.

She pulled the hat deeper over her face and readjusted her grey Haori. She had complied to dressing in a similar fashion to the Joi rebel leader, even if it included dressing as a man.

They sat down against a wall of an Amanto embassy and silently observed the activity on the streets.

"Katsura…" She spoke spoke up.

"Yes, Leader?"

"Why is everybody calling me Leader?" She asked with genuine curiosity.

"You seem like a natural leader." He answered curtly.

"But isn't it confusing? I mean, you're the real leader, aren't you?"

"It's not Leader, it's Katsura." He retorted full of conviction.

"Just forget I said anything." She deadpanned.


	3. A Priest Prayed A Prayer

"So, did you find anything out?" The blonde Yato inconspicuously asked the figure sitting at the side of the road.

The figure continued chewing on whatever it was eating at that point in time and gulped it down.

"Yeah." A hushed, low female voice answered him afterwards. "The Kiheitai has been hanging around the Joishishi while Takasugi and Katsura are talking about a possible joint operation. They'll definitely be here for the next few days." She elaborated before stuffing the next edible thing into her mouth.

"I see." Abuto replied. He vaguely wondered why he had to go along with this ridiculous play of talking-to-somebody-while-making-it-look-like-you're-not, but decided not to risk blowing his captain's cover or having her blow his head off.

He had to give her credit, though. The seemingly innocent priest with his staff leaning against the wall fooled him completely the first time, and never in a million years would he have thought that to be a female, not to mention his bloodlust-radiating captain.

The girl had her way of wiggling her way through the ranks, usually through brute force and scaring the shit out of everybody who dared oppose her, but under all that was a killer charm that had apparently wormed itself into the Joishishi leader's heart, who had given her a position of authority on a whim. He continued down the street, resisting the urge to throw another glance back at the redhead.

She'd do more than blow off his head if she saw how worried he was about her.

* * *

"I should arrest you for showing your stupid face in public." The man in the Shinsengumi uniform deadpanned as he stood opposite of a vermillion-haired youth.

"And I should sue you for abusing your authority. Who knows, maybe I'll even get enough money to buy food out of it…" The redhead grumbled along with his stomach, which had been deprived of food once again due to his roommate's addiction to pachinko.

"As if you'd win that case." The sandy-haired policeman scoffed. "Do you even know how a case works here on Earth? Just remember that you can't apply your alien rules, okay?"

"I'm not the stupid one here, you are." Kamui stated annoyed. "Of course I know how things work here."

"Oh really?" Okita drawled. "I'll add insulting a police officer to those charges." His thumb rested just below the hilt of his sword, ready to push it up.

"Add assaulting an officer to that list while you're at it." The Yato fumed as he swung his umbrella at the flaxen-haired man. His sword was drawn in a flash and intercepted the attack. He kicked high, hoping to knock that irritating parasol out of his opponents' hands.

"Tch, tch, now you're even admitting to it." The Shinsengumi captain clicked his tongue. The purple umbrella stayed firm in his rival's hands.

"I can hardly deny it while dragging your dead body through the streets of Edo." He landed a kick on the sandy-haired man's stomach.

Recovering from having the air knocked out of him, the officer took a step back, chuckling lightly. "Y'know, you and that monster sister of yours actually fight pretty similar to each other."

"Don't compare me to my idiotic sister!" He retorted as he threw a punch at the policeman.

Said policeman dodged the Yato's strike and attempted to slash at his legs. The alien jumped up in the last second and used his umbrella to hit down on Okita's head from above. He just grunted as he used his sheathed sword to block the attack.

"How can I not, when I see such touching similarities between you two?" He teased with a smirk.

"Shut up before I stuff every single one of Mayora's mayo bottles down your throat." The redhead threatened while putting more pressure on the sadistic man's sheath.

"Ew, nobody wants that dog food." The flaxen-haired man wrinkled his nose. He was starting to feel the strain in his arms as he pushed against the vermillion-haired man's superhuman strength.

"Why do you think it's perfect for you, Bakufu Lap Dog?" Kamui grinned with an evil glint in his eyes.

"I kinda prefer 'Tax Robber' now…" Okita deadpanned.

"Too bad." The redhead suddenly pulled back the umbrella, making the policeman startle at the sudden release of pressure, and slammed it down full-force, hitting his opponent square on. Too bad indeed.

Too bad he forgot they were fighting on a bridge and that said bridge was not built to withstand a Yato releasing his anger and aggressions.

A look of surprise crossed his face as both of them fell into the clear river under them.

Too bad indeed.

* * *

"Vice-Chief! Vice-Chief!" A panicked voice called out.

"What is it?" Hijikata grunted in annoyance as he topped his ramen with mayonnaise.

"It's… it's… it's…"

"Spit it out already, Yamazaki, I don't have all day." He put a cigarette in his mouth and lit it.

"It's Katsura! He's making a move!"

"WHAT?!" The Vice-Chief shouted as his cigarette fell out of his mouth. He stood up in a flash and grabbed his jacket. "Tell me exactly what happened." He ordered harshly as he signalled Yamazaki to follow him.

"There are Joi Rebels posted throughout Edo, but mainly in Kabuki-chou." He reported while trying to keep up with his superior's quick pace. "Apparently they're all disguised as monks and priests. They are forming suspicious patterns, and the area around the castle is contaminated already. We have to warn the Shogun."

"That fucking bastard! Why are we only hearing of this now? What incompetent jackass was sleeping on the job instead of patrolling the area?" He gritted out through his teeth. "Who'll be committing seppuku the next time I lay eyes on him?" He added darkly.

Yamazaki gulped. "Captain Okita, sir!"

"Why am I not surprised?" He muttered with a twitching eye. "Get me a radio ASAP!" He shouted at his subordinate.

"Y-yes, sir! Right away!"

"Bloody rebels, bloody Sougo, bloody rebels, bloody Sougo, think of nice things, one mayo, two mayos, three mayos…" He quietly repeated to himself akin to a mantra.

What did he do to deserve this?

* * *

"I can't believe you did that, illegal immigrant scum." Okita chuckled humourlessly as he wiped some blood out of his face.

"Why? Did the Super Sadist injure himself?" The Yato mocked with fake concern.

"I'm seriously going to kill you now."

"Go ahead and try."

"… _ougo!"_

The Shinsengumi captain frowned at the sudden static interrupting his scripted-out evil monologue. "Hold that thought for a second." He raised his hand at the Yato to signal him to wait.

"Yes, Hijikata-should-just die?" He answered lazily.

" _Goddamnit, Sougo! Get your fucking ass moving and intercept the Joishishi!"_

"Ehhhhh?! Watcha' talking about, Hijikata-will-get-blown-up?" He feigned innocence.

" _Were you even listeni- You know what, just arrest everybody that is dressed like a priest or a monk! Use force if they resist!"_

"Roger, Hijikata-just-ate-poisoned-mayonnaise. Over and out." He ended the transmission. "You heard the man, China Boy. This is what a person who actually works has to do. We'll continue this some other time."

"Sure, go and pretend to work, Sadist. We all know you're just running away." Kamui gave him a condescending grin.

"In your dreams, China Boy."

* * *

Kagura pulled the straw hat further down her face as she observed what was going on. She dug a strip of sukonbu out of her pocket and began to munch on it.

A few men clad in black uniforms ran past her.

Weakling idiots.

She slipped into one of the back alleys as she took in the development of the scenario. She couldn't help but let a satisfied smirk cross her face as she watched everything go according to plan. Those Shinsengumi officers were truly just too gullible.

"Leader, all the preparations are done." A male voice spoke up from next to her. She glanced over and gave the Joi rebel a short nod in confirmation.

"Right then, let the Kiheitai know it's time for their screen time." She grinned. She couldn't wait to see what had Admiral Asshole's panties twisted in a bunch. Were they really as dangerous as he made them out to be?

"Roger, Leader!" The man disappeared into the complicated back alley layout.

She chuckled slightly at the ingenuity of her plan. The faces they would be making once they realize they were storming and protecting an empty castle would be hilarious, for sure.

She mentally acknowledged the Shogun's double for pulling off such a good job, because if Soyo-chan hadn't told her of the trip she and her brother were making this week she would have also believed they would get him.

She started humming a song to herself as another group from the Shinsengumi rushed down the street.

Subconsciously, she was on the lookout for a certain captain, hoping to make this day even better by splattering his blood all over the pavement. What a lovely picture that would be.

Shouts erupted from the street as frenzied policemen were suddenly confronted by a gun-slinging woman in a two piece kimono. Her blond hair shifted behind her as she spun around gracefully, her bullets hitting all of their marks.

"Your song is beautiful, I daresay." Another male voice spoke up from behind her. The Yato turned around with a raised eyebrow.

"Is that the newest way to hit on girls?" She asked the sunglasses clad man with headphones.

"No, it just means that I know you will not disappoint us, I daresay. I can't wait to see how your song continues, I daresay." He stated nonchalantly while walking past her. He stopped and glanced back at her. "It's a heart-warming and soul-crushing melody. Truly beautiful, I daresay."

He didn't wait for her response and left the alley, took the instrument strapped to his back off and joined the blonde girl in the fray.

Kagura stared after the guy, still confused about what he was trying to tell her. She concluded that all of the members of the Kiheitai had to be whackjobs.

She vaguely remembered her brief meeting with their 'strategist', a lolicon in denial. Unfortunately bashing his head in would have blown her cover (That's right, Abuto! Your captain has some common sense!) so she decided against it. There's always time for that in the future, after all.

"Leader." A smooth, low voice said.

She smirked as she glanced at Katsura out of the corner of her eye. Elizabeth was standing next to him, a sign held up.

"It's time."

* * *

Hijikata furrowed his eyebrows. Something was off. Things were going to smoothly, too easily. Despite the large numbers of suspects reported, most of them were giving up without resistance, others claiming to be real priests and still going along, and only the least of them made any sort of fuss.

"Toshi, what's the situation?" The Shinsengumi Chief asked his second-in-command sternly.

Hijikata turned to his just-arrived superior. "Good that you're finally here, Kondo-sa-" He stopped mid-sentence as he took in the swollen, blue eye and missing tooth the gorilla was sporting along with the bandage covering his arms.

"Were you stalking the Shimura girl again?" He sighed in disappointment, already dreading the answer.

"…maybe."

* * *

"Gin! Gin! Gin, where are you?" A frantic Shinpachi stormed the Yorozuya office. "Gin! How can you be sleeping at a time like this?!" He screeched once he found the silver-haired samurai snoozing away on the couch, a halfway-read Jump ling across his face.

"Nnnnngh, leave me alone Pattsuan…" He waved the boy away. "I was having such a wonderful dream, too."

"Gin! This is an emergency!"

At the word 'emergency' the perm-head jumped up and headed towards the kitchen counter while screaming, "KAMUI! Put those parfaits back where you found them!"

"Not that kind of emergency…" Shinpachi facepalmed.

"What could be worse than the black hole consuming my precious babies?!" Gintoki whined since he didn't receive sympathy from Glasses.

Shinpachi sighed and pointed towards the street. "What about the riot outside? I'm amazed you could sleep through all the racket."

The samurai frowned at this and peaked through the blinds of the window behind the desk. "This is not good. Are they debt collectors?"

"I highly doubt that…" Shinpachi deadpanned. Why did he have to be the straight man anyway?

"You're right, they're fighting against the Tax Robbers."

"I don't think that's a characteristic of not being a debt collector…"

"Well, let's go out and take care of it." The samurai straightened his clothes and grabbed his bokuto on the way out. A dumbfounded Shinpachi still stood in the office, confusion written all over his face.

"Gin?"

"I said we're moving out, Pattsuan."

"But why are we getting involved, Gin? And where's Kamui?"

"Who's Gin?" He asked dramatically. "It's Gintoki 13." He flamboyantly turned around sporting a pair of sunglasses and holding a machine gun instead of his wooden sword.

"Now really isn't the time for that!"

* * *

Kamui warily observed the robe-clad man at the side of the road, a staff leaning against the wall next to him. He remembered what he had heard over the sadist's radio and pondered over whether or not to engage the man. He scowled at the aura the man was emitting, but decided not to get involved. It was probably just a normal priest anyway. And he didn't want to get into trouble with Katsura for crippling one of his men.

He continued down the road, taking a few short cuts here and there and evading the mass arrests the Shinsengumi were conducting at the time. He wondered whether he would still make it back in time to eat some of the parfaits in the fridge before Gin-san woke up and whether Sadaharu had been fed yet.

He watched the sun set on the horizon, noting that it was later than he had expected.

Oh well, whatever.

* * *

Sougo Okita frowned at the next priest who was driven away in a patrol car. The feedback from the first interviews just came back confirming these men's identities as actual priests and monks. Somebody was playing them like the strings on a violin, and that person was probably sitting around somewhere, looking smug and satisfied with a shit-eating grin across their face.

A grin his katana was itching to cut off.

It was blatantly clear that it was a mass distraction, but the question was from what? The castle? Even the Joishishi wouldn't storm the castle at a time like this, especially not with the Harusame holding their leashes… The Harusame!

His red eyes widened at the realization. Harusame activity had been close to zero lately, and in combination with what came to light after Kada's and Housen's deaths it meant that… the likelihood of the Harusame meddling was pretty low!

He mentally chastised himself for not noticing earlier and scanned the crowd of priests. There had to be at least one Joi Rebel here… His gaze locked in on the man who had adjusted his straw hat for the fifth time in a few minutes. Bingo.

"Oi, Priest." He greeted the man.

A flicker of hesitation flashed through his eyes. Perfect.

"Can I help you, Officer?" He replied calmly.

"Yes, you can help me by telling me what you Joishishi are really targeting." With those words he grabbed the man's head and shoved it into the ground. "And you better start talking now."

"W-What are you doing? I'm just a wandering priest."

"And I'm just an innocent little girl who got involved in a huge mess by talking to a cat. Spit out the words before I make you spit out your teeth." He lazily drawled.

"This is abuse of power! Harassment!" The man screeched, making multiple heads turn towards the duo.

Okita shook his head in disappointment. "You're the one harassing me here, dear sir. Refusing to cooperate with an officer of the law, what will your mother only think of you now?."

"Do you really think you can get away with talking to me like that?!"

"Fiiine." The Shinsengumi Captain sighed. "Tell me before I smash your face in even further,  _please._ "

"You fucking bastard!"

"I'll add insulting a police officer to your wrongdoings."

"Fuck you! You'll never get to the castle in time anyway, Bakufu Lap Dog!" He seethed.

"This is your punishment for not heading the advice the police has given you." The sadistic captain announced before crushing the man's face into the ground once more and bringing his radio to his mouth.

"This is Captain Okita with a message to all squads. The priests are a distraction. I repeat the priests are a distraction! The real target is the castle! All available members head there immediately!"

" _Roger!"_

" _Right away, sir!"_

" _Are you sure about that, Sougo?"_

Recognizing the last voice as Kondo's, he replied, "I have a reliable source.", glancing down at the still form on the ground.

* * *

"So they don't really trust me, do they?" A male voice mused. "But I wonder, do you trust me, Leader?"

The red-haired Yato looked at the man opposite of her, the dishevelled black hair, the bandage wrapped across his face, the purple-yellow kimono and the pipe resting in his right hand.

To be completely honest, she had expected Shinsuke Takasugi to look… different. While his appearance might be off-throwing, his aura did not lie. He was a cold-blooded killer, just like herself.

"I don't trust anybody. Especially not suspicious looking men like you." She retorted.

The setting sun was making the alley flood in soft crimson light.

He chuckled. "That's a good principle in life." He brought his pipe to his lips and exhaled the smoke slowly.

"Is there something you needed, Takasugi-san?" She brought them back to topic.

"Ah yes. You said your name was Kagura, right?" He asked for confirmation.

She replied with a curt nod. "If that is all, we are in the middle of an operation here."

"You're quite a sly woman, are you not?" He smirked at her. "What use is this operation if we both know the Shogun isn't here?"

She found herself amused at the surprise she felt in that moment. It was always a possibility that others would find out about the fake-out, but she didn't expect it to be this man.

"Showing that you can step on someone's property without any qualms always unsettles the owner, doesn't it?" She argued confidently, an innocent smile spreading over her face.

"Hmmm? I see."

"Would that be all, Takasugi?"

"Just one more thing." He held up one finger. Kagura raised her eyebrow in a questioning motion.

"Yes?"

"Remember not to trust anybody, Seventh Squad Captain."

Kagura scowled as the man disappeared into the alley shadows. He clearly knew more than he let on, not to mention her real identity.

She looked at the setting sun and briefly took note of the rather uncharacteristic clouds forming in the sky.

* * *

Things were going according to plan. Katsura signalled his men to assault the unsuspecting castle guards and the group moved in through the gates once all guards were lying sprawled across the floor, unresponding.

The sun had just dipped past the horizon, masking Edo in the darkness of the night. A few more guards dropped to the ground as the Joi Rebels moved on and infiltrated the castle.

Katsura trusted Leader to handle the situation outside of the gates, so his attention was focused on the maze of a castle rather than the weird-looking clouds covering the black sky.

* * *

Abuto took a deep breath of the chilly night air. He observed the ensuing chaos below him and tried spotting his homicidal maniac of a captain, but to no avail. He sighed while praying she wasn't doing anything too stupid, wondering how he would ever explain what happened to the admiral.

His gaze fell on the moon instead. The moon and the dark shadows blocking his view of the bright stars.

* * *

Kamui gazed at the sky. Those were definitely not clouds.

He had overheard the situation update through one of the Shinsengumi officers who had just happened to be in the vicinity of his hearing ability.

After running into Gin-san and Glasses the Yorozuya trio decided to put a stop to it (after an old lady told them she'd give them a huge reward if they put an end to the noise).

"What is it, Kamui?!" Gintoki shouted over the background noise as they sped down the road on his trusty two-wheeler.

"The sky!" Kamui released one hand from Sadaharu's collar and pointed upwards. "Look at the clouds!"

Shinpachi and Gintoki turned their heads towards the sky and gasped at the silhouettes making their way through the dark smoke.

"Is that…"

"Is that…" Both started.

"… a space ship?"

"…Laputa?"


	4. Kenpachi Could Totally Rock Sunglasses

"Gin… Not everything is Laputa…" Shinpachi sighed.

"Shut up, Pattsuan! Don't go destroying a young boy's dreams!" Gintoki chastised the redhead.

"I'm pretty sure those are your dreams. And you're definitely no young boy…" Shinpachi deadpanned. "And we should be concentrating on the important facts, LIKE THE BIG SPACESHIP IN THE SKY!" He hysterically shouted.

"Didn't Zura say they chose this moment because there wouldn't be any interferences?" The samurai frowned.

"I don't know about you guys, but that sure as hell looks like a space pirate ship to me…" Kamui muttered as he tightened his grip on Sadaharu's fur. He didn't want to think about the implications, but if his sister was somehow involved in this… Edo was sure to go up in flames.

* * *

A vermillion-haired woman took a deep breath, noting the change of smell in the air. She was all too familiar with the stench of fuel slowly filling the atmosphere.

"Those fucking bastards… What the hell are they doing here?" Kagura grimaced as she recognized the shape of the spacecraft above her. It looked an awful lot like the Eighth Division Main Ship.

She turned on her heel and sped through the alley system. She had to contact the rest of the Joishishi.

It wasn't as if she actually cared about them, it was more like she felt a certain responsibility towards them. They didn't ask questions and even looked up to her, giving her the title of 'Leader'. She'd definitely be a horrid 'Leader' if she abandoned them here and now. She still had that bit of pride in her. And if the Harusame was moving in even though she still had an ongoing assignment here, there was only one explanation.

They were planning to betray her.

As she took the next right, towards the emergency communicator, she came to a sudden halt when a familiar figure stood before her.

"You…" She glowered at him.

* * *

Abuto clenched his fist. Of course, why hadn't he realized it sooner? The seventh division members were considered monsters among monsters, and his captain's latest deeds weren't really helping. They were cleaning up after themselves, and that included getting rid of the members they deemed too strong.

In other words, he couldn't help but smile a bit at the thought, the Harusame was afraid of them. More specifically, of a female Yato named Kagura.

He stood up from his position on the rooftop and threw the chaos going on under him one last glance, noticing the absence of the sandy-haired police officer he was initially following. He dismissed it without a second thought and grabbed the purple parasol next to him in addition to his own one.

It was time he met up with that idiotic captain of his, even if just going without her would probably benefit his mental health.

* * *

"Do you guys see Zura anywhere?" Gintoki stood on his scooter, letting his gaze roam the area. "Cause I only see old men."

"You should be a bit more considerate, they also have feelings, y'know?" Kamui gave his muffled reply as he shoved another mouthful of rice into his mouth.

The silver-haired samurai glanced at the nearly empty rice bowl in his co-worker's arms and then at the surrounding area. " Kamui, where did you get that rice from?"

The redhead pointed over to a street vendor while munching away.

"… Do they have parfaits as well?" Gintoki asked seriously.

"I can't believe the two of you are thinking about food at a time of crisis like this!" Shinpachi growled as he approached the other two Yorozuya.

"Food is essential to a human's – and amanto's – existence and therefore there is no inappropriate time to think about parfaits!" The samurai announced akin to world-changing speech. It didn't help that Kamui was nodding in approval, somehow holding a new bowl of rice in his hands, practically inhaling its contents.

"Why am I the only sane person in this story?!" The black-haired teen wailed.

* * *

"So anyway, apparently the whole thing is distraction. The real objective is to storm the Shogun's castle and assassinate him while the police is stuck dealing with the massive overflow of priests." The glasses stand calmly reported after his short nervous breakdown.

"A distraction, huh?" Gintoki wondered out loud as he scraped his spoon along the bottom of his parfait glass. "Sounds a bit too smart to be Zura's plan. Somebody else is definitely behind this."

"Isn't it the Kiheitai? I mean, he did mention Takasugi when he came to visit us…"

"Neither of them would use this kind of approach." The silver-haired man frowned. "And didn't he mention his newest, brilliant recruit?" He pointed out.

"True…" The Yato of the group agreed. "But he didn't say anything else about this person."

"So we're back to the beginning, huh?" Gintoki sighed disdainfully.

"That wasn't even our objective, Gin." Shinpachi deadpanned.

"It wasn't?"

"It wasn't?" The two others asked in surprise with wide eyes.

"I definitely don't get enough money for putting up with you two…"

* * *

"I guess you've finally realized it." Takasugi noted offhandedly while passing something to her. Kagura eyed the small plastic bottle in her hand before raising an eyebrow at him.

"Exactly how is Yakulk going to help us in this situation?"

"It's not, but I'll give it to you. Don't worry, it's on me." After saying that, he pulled out a second small bottle out of his kimono and drank it in one go.

The vermillion-haired girl sighed and also downed the drink. Even she couldn't deny that it was good, even if the timing was kind of inappropriate.

"So, what are you planning to do against them?" The black-haired man asked her.

"It looks like it's only the Eighth Division, so there shouldn't be any problems. Hell, Abuto and I could probably take care of them ourselves." She explained. "But even though the admiral is an asshole, he's not stupid enough to just send one division after us. That means we have to assume there's back-up somewhere."

"I see. Then we shall simply destroy them all." Takasugi stated with a glint in his eye.

"That's a sound plan." Kagura grinned. "I call dibs on the back-up."

"Then I will lead the Kiheitai to the ship."

"You sure you can handle it?" The female Yato teased. "It is an entire spaceship after all…"

"You'll just have to trust me." He smirked at her.

* * *

He wiped the blood off his sword as he stepped over the dying man in his way.

"Damn rebels." He muttered under his breath. After eying the unconscious guards lying around, he added, "Useless idiots."

He knew he probably should have waited for back-up, but once he saw the spaceship in the sky he knew trouble was coming and it was coming fast. He liked pain, but he only like being on the giving side, not the receiving one.

Okita cautiously looked around the corner, finding the hallway empty to much of his relief. He gently crept down the corridor, alert to any Joi rebels ambushing him. But none came. He couldn't help but be suspicious about the eerie silence and the lack of personnel. This was the shogun's castle, for the god of sadism's sake!

He slowly made his way up another flight of stairs. Any moment now, he should encounter at least one of them. Any moment now… Any moment…

He let out a deep sigh. This was no fun. He didn't even get to have a proper fight and now all the enemies are gone. He wondered if he made really loud noises, would they come running?

He shook his head and decided he shouldn't piss off Kondo-san too much today, considering that he was probably already rejected by the Shimura girl today.

He halted in front of one of the sliding doors. It was the princess' room. The few times he had been on guard duty here, he usually got along with her pretty well, since she was a part of the sadist club. He briefly remembered her telling him about this other friend of hers he "totally had to meet". Pushing the irrelevant thought aside, he pressed his ear to the door to hear whether anybody was inside. He was pretty sure the shogun his relatives were already somewhere else, but maybe some of the assailants were still loitering around. When he heard nothing, he quietly opened the door and was met with total darkness.

Taking a careful step forward, he immediately jerked his foot back just as a penetrating 'snap' echoed through the castle.

Eying the shiny thing on the ground that could only be a bear trap, Okita sighed. If the enemy didn't already know he was here, they definitely did now.

Oh well, he could at least tell Hijikata that he tried.

* * *

" _Retreat."_

"What?"

" _I said retreat! You can't take them on."_

"Leader, you underestimate us. I, Katsura, shall show you what the Joishishi is really capable of!"

"…"

"Leader?"

" _Don't shout out loud during a covert mission, moron."_

* * *

Kagura flexed her fingers, hearing the cracking sound. It's been a while since she's given somebody a good punch. And right now she felt like giving that long-haired idiot named Kotarou Katsura a good punch to the face. A part of her wondered whether she would still get a chance to if he really did engage the Harusame and not survive. But then again, idiots don't die that easily.

But she was urging even more to put those even bigger idiots who dare oppose her in their places. Just as she cracked her knuckles once more the handle of a purple umbrella was held out to her. She let the corner of her mouth twitch up slightly as she took the familiar weapon back from her second-in-command.

"You sure took your time. I nearly thought you were planning to go without me." She noted sweetly.

"As if I would, captain." Abuto replied calmly, trying as hard as he could not to let her realize that he had actually considered doing just that.

"Well then, no time to lose." She gave him a smile. Actually, it was more of a death threat, but any outsider would have seen it as a smile. "Let's go before the fun runs away!"

"I take it you already know where they are?" The blonde Yato asked his enthusiastic captain.

"Mhm." She gracefully leapt up to the roof, landing gently and jumping right to the next one. "I know exactly where they are."

* * *

"I thought we were going to go look for Katsura!" Shinpachi shouted.

"What?!" His silver-haired co-worker shouted back.

"I said, I thought we were looking for Katsura!" He repeated.

"Seriously, Pattsuan, you need to speak up!" Gintoki shouted again.

"ARE YOU BLOODY DEAF?!" The black-haired boy screeched hysterically.

"WHAT?!" The samurai shouted once more.

"KATSURA!"

"WHERE?!"

"EXACTLY!"

"WHAT?!"

Kamui sighed as he watched the pathetic exchange between the other two members of the Yorozuya. Talk about childish. He thanked the lady from the store for the free lollipop she gave him and walked over to his two partners, reached over to the control panel of the scooter and switched off the loud static noise that was hindering their communication.

"Ah, thanks, Kamui." He thanked the vermillion-haired Yato.

"No prob, Gin." Said Yato replied while sticking the candy in his mouth. "Are we going there now?"

"Yes. The heroes always come at the last minute, don't they?" Gintoki said while striking a pose.

"If you were trying to sound cool, you failed." Shinpachi mumbled.

"I doubt they'll see us as heroes, though…" Kamui noted while climbing on Sadaharu's back. "I mean, we are going there just to laugh at them for messing up their jobs."

"I still don't get why we're going there of all places. Shouldn't we be rushing to the shogun's castle right now? Katsura's bound to be there." Shinpachi asked worriedly as he got on the back of the scooter.

"I have the feeling we'll find what we're looking for at that place." He silver-haired man stated dramatically. He was definitely reading too much JUMP.

* * *

Okita opened the next door. Still nothing.

Where was everybody? He had almost already covered the entire building, and still nothing. Not one bit of Joishishi anywhere. The only trace of them ever being here was the one guy he had cut down on the way here.

This was a bit too fishy.

Since there wasn't anybody around anyway, he relaxed his shoulders and fished out his radio from his pocket. "Kondo?"

" _Ah, Sougo! Good timing!"_  His superior's voice rang through.

"It is? Too bad I don't have good news to go with that." The first squad captain drawled.

" _If it's about the shogun, don't worry. He's not even in the country right now."_

Okita blinked once. Then twice. "What?"

" _Sorry about that, I kinda forgot to mention that just now."_

He sighed. That's Kondo for you. "What do you need me to do?"

" _Go back to the compound as fast as you can. Apparently they're having some trouble with the fake priests."_

"I thought they were actual priests." The sandy haired man recalled as he made his way to the nearest balcony.

" _Yeah, but until we know which ones aren't, we can't let them go. Go help the others, will ya?"_

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Okita stuck his head out over the edge of the balcony and estimated the height he was at. It was definitely too high for a normal human to survive.

He stuffed the radio back in his pocket and pushed himself up on the ledge before letting gravity take over.

Good thing this was only a story and he was vital to the plot.

* * *

"The Shinsengumi compound?" Abuto asked in surprise.

"Yes."

"But why there? What would they possibly gain from being captured by the enem- oh." Abuto stopped mid-sentence as realization dawned on him.

"Exactly." His captain confirmed. "They killed more than just two bears with this stone."

"I believe it's 'birds'…" The male Yato pointed out.

"That's beside the point." Kagura chided him. "The point is that we have an unknown number of enemies on an unknown terrain."

Abuto nearly stopped running right then and there. Had… Had Kagura… Had his captain finally developed sensibility?

She threw him a saccharine smile over her shoulder. "Isn't that just wonderful?" The glee was burning in her bright, blue eyes.

He takes back everything.

* * *

"This really isn't the time to laugh at their failures. They're just doing their jobs, you know?" The glasses asked the other two.

"Yeah, doing their jobs of stealing our taxes."

"Which I highly doubt you pay anyway." Shinpachi muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

* * *

He took the shortcut through the woods. Maybe, if there'd be a priest who misbehaved, he can cut him down, right? Right?

Okita grunted at his inner voice. He really wanted to kill somebody. No, needed to.

He was surprised at his own speed, but it made him completely neglect his surroundings. He only heard the leaves rustling in the wind.

He felt a tap at the top of his head, but when he looked up, there was nothing there.

* * *

"Are you still wearing that outfit?" Abuto eyed the priest gown his captain was still donning.

"Yeah, why?" She gave him a confused glance.

"Isn't it a bit too conspicuous?" He tried reasoning with her, even if the main reason was how easily he would lose her in the crowds.

"No." She replied swiftly, jumping over a boulder as they entered a small forest. She lead the way by heading through the crowns of the trees, travelling as unnoticeable as possible, akin to a shinobi. The path below her was pretty dark, so she didn't want to risk accidently running into somebody with a flashlight. "Isn't it easier for me to blend in with them like this?" She added.

The blonde man sighed. "I guess." He admitted reluctantly.

She flashed him a victorious, smug smile before suddenly missing her step and falling down from the top of the trees.

He nearly called out her name, but stopped himself as she bounced right back up into the leaves. Typical Kagura.

Meanwhile, the Harusame captain glanced towards the ground. Was her height perception really that off? She could have sworn she touched the ground faster than she should have… If only she could see something in this darkness…

* * *

How did they always, always,  _always_  end up in situations like these? He would never know. Shinpachi set his fingers on the hilt of his katana, ready to draw it at any second. Naturally, the moment they had arrived at the Shinsengumi gates, total chaos broke out as one of the priests recklessly attacked one of the officers.

And naturally, about three quarters of the remaining priests and monks joined in without hesitation, pulling all sorts of weaponry out of their robes.

And even more naturally, Gintoki pulled out his wooden sword without hesitation, crying out "This is Edo!" before storming right into the fray.

Kamui just set aside his chopsticks and rice bowl before running after him. "Let's go, Shinpachi!" He exclaimed before suddenly halting. "You know, just cause' your name ends with 'pachi' you're no Kenpachi, right?"

"Of course I know that!" The glasses stand shouted furiously. He seriously needed to take those JUMP away from the two of them…

Just as Kamui was about to join in the fight, he halted again. "Madao!" He shouted out while happily approaching a tearing-up brunet man wearing pair of sunglasses.

"Oh, you're here too?" Said pair of sunglasses sweatdropped at the sight of his least favourite redhead.

"Yep, we're helping out Katsura." The Yato explained.

"Really? I just got a job helping out these priests." Hazegawa chuckled lightly, while thinking 'If these guys were around, things are bound to go south…'

"…"

"At least you're really Kenpachi." Kamui suddenly said, completely context-unrelated.

"I don't think that that's what's important here…" Shinpachi facepalmed.

"Anyway, time to join the fun, let's go, Shinpachi, Kenpachi." Kamui ordered them.

As they followed him, Hazegawa pondered out loud. "I think I rather like Kenpachi…"

* * *

Kamui grit his teeth together in annoyance. He made a mental note to never doubt his gut feeling again, as well as tear off both of the Chihuahua's hands once he's pried them off his sister.


	5. Blue Eyes Full Of Innocence

Sougo Okita was a smart man, praised as a genius in more than one way. But you didn't need to be a genius to know that the Yorozuya showing up at the Shinsengumi compound was a bad sign. A very bad sign.

As expected of them, they started a fight.

He watched the priests and monks engage the crazy trio, independent of whether they were allied with the Joishishi or not. A wooden sword swung down in the middle of a crowd, clearing the area around it. Elsewhere the sound of a machine gun was heard, hinting at the Yato's signature weapon.

And the glasses stand.

But that wasn't all. He took notice of the two additional presences at the compound, both of which he had encountered before. All pieces fell into place, and he realized that it must've been them in the forest on their way here.

As for their reason to do so, he would have to go ask them.

He acknowledged their way of handling the situation. Hell, if he'd been the one infiltrating the enemy base, he would probably proceed similarly, if not the same.

They were inside the compound, in one of the offices at the far end of the hall. He chuckled.

The last place any of the currently very frantic Shinsengumi officers would think of encountering the enemy, the commander's office.

He walked through the chaos unnoticed, slipping in to the building with no hesitation. He smirked once he picked up the radiating bloodlust seeping through the hallway, confirming his suspicions. His fingers twitched in anticipation as they inched towards the hilt of his katana.

He would see that bloody bitch again today, and he couldn't wait to fight her once more.

 _Kagura_.

Her name burned in his thoughts, enticing him to make her bleed, make her admit defeat. It was irresistible, and the mere sliding door as well as her subordinate were the only things separating him from his visions. He noted that she'd definitely look good tied up in ropes and gagged.

Just as he was about to confront the two Yatos, the small, nagging thought that he'd been having since he first took notice of them surfaced.

_Why were two high-ranking Harusame members here?_

* * *

If his captain was bothered, she sure didn't show it.

He had noticed the slight surprise which had crossed her face for a millisecond when they had found her brother amongst the fray, but it was gone as quickly as it had come.

Kagura being Kagura, having absolutely no plan of the compound's layout, naturally strutted in with all her pride intact, blending in perfectly with her robes and her wide brimmed straw hat hiding her vibrant hair. Shinsengumi members ran in and out, trying to get the situation under control, but succeed they did not.

Heck, they hadn't even noticed the two additional people strolling through their headquarters. After listening in to some of their conversations, Kagura signalled him to follow her down one of the hallways, slipping in to the room at the very end.

Abuto let his eyes skim over the scrolls and papers flying around and whispered "I think this is the Chief's office."

His captain nodded. "Now let's look for information the Harusame may have left. For all we know, they may be working with the Shinsengumi."

The blonde Yato shuffled through a stack of papers on the desk and sighed, wondering why his captain couldn't always show her rational, strategic side.

* * *

"It doesn't look like they were involved in the planning." Abuto concluded after a few minutes. Kagura nodded meekly before signalling him to be quiet. He raised an eyebrow, but decided not to question her decisions. She may be bat-shit crazy, but at least she knows what she's doing. Most of the time. Sometimes. Actually, does she?

And thus, once again, Abuto found himself questioning why he ever took in that little girl on Rakuyou all those years ago. Maybe her brother would have been the better choice…

After thinking about his canon self, he realized he was doomed to misery ever since he laid eyes on Umibuzo's children. One was just as bad as the other.

Thinking back to the present, he readjusted his grip on his parasol when he felt the presence of another behind the sliding doors.

* * *

Kamui briefly wondered whether the upset feeling in his stomach came from over-eating before storming into this fight. One way or another, he was sure that something wasn't right.

But he couldn't see what could possibly be the problem. Gin was still beating up monks with his wooden sword, Shinpachi was doing his best and even Madao was holding his own. And the Shinsengumi officers as well.

He slammed his purple umbrella down on another priest, watching the man fall over like a dead log. Sadaharu panted happily next to him, giving him an affectionate lick of slobbering saliva across his face. The Yato grinned slightly and patted his head.

The nagging feeling of unease still rested in his stomach, but he decided to blame it on bad food.

* * *

The shuffling, even though it was only ever as audible, died down after a few minutes. Okita bend his knees slightly, preparing to engage his enemies any moment, especially since the aura around him suddenly shifted from the unbound bloodlust to something much colder.

Not even a minute later he found himself dodging a fist that would have caused more damage than the sandy-haired officer would have liked to think about. The glinting azure eyes that were scrutinizing him confirmed all his speculations from earlier.

"I have to wonder why the Harusame decided to send a little bitch like you here. Need to 'clean up' anything?" He asked the female snidely with heavy implication.

She didn't reply straight away, instead staring on into his eyes, contemplating something. "No." She said after a few seconds, pulling back her clenched fist, but remaining in his proximity. "My reasons for being here are none of your concern."

Now, Sougo Okita wasn't a people person, and he probably wasn't a world champion in reading other people, but his gut feeling told him that something was troubling this feisty redhead. He remembered the last time he saw her, her raging murderous intent, her vivid blue eyes, her bright red hair contrasting the dim sky – but the girl in front of him was different.

She was studying him, looking for something. Her eyes were cold and calculating, but she wasn't strategizing how to take him down. Her mind was somewhere else.

"Considering that you're in my boss' office, I do believe I have every right to interrogate you." He smirked.

No retorts, no sarcastic comments or witty remarks, hell, not even a single swear word. Okita decided then and there that he preferred the other Kagura.

* * *

It shouldn't have been a surprise that he was the one to find her. From what she could gather and heard about the man in question, he was a prodigy and quite intelligent, even if he put that brain into the wrong thoughts. And quite the fighting prowess as well.

After he asked her why they were here, she searched his blood red eyes for any kind of hint, any bit of information that he was trying to hide away. Because, judging by his reaction, the Shinsengumi might not have had anything to do with this.

* * *

Since she wasn't answering, he decided to do the next best thing: completely dominate her and force some answers out of her. His thumb pushed the handle of his katana out of its holster and he swiftly drew his sword, bring it up between himself and the Yato. She deftly blocked it with her purple parasol.

The hallway was dark, save for the few rays of moonlight that somehow illuminated the office and a small portion of the corridor.

The Harusame captain was still standing next to the doorway, bathing in the soft moonlight. Okita noted her attire, a sort of priest uniform, and the way the harsh moonlight made her already pale complexion even paler.  _Like a doll_.

He smirked.  _China doll_. If going on appearances alone, it'd be a perfect fit.

Now if only she could also be as fragile as a doll…

Narrowly avoiding getting completely socked by her superhuman strength, he escaped into the office, eyes darting around looking for her companion. His eyes landed on the tall, blonde man who was holding an umbrella in his hand and giving him a disinterested look.

China doll's eyes flitted over to the other Yato. "Abuto, go on to the next room. I'll take care of this."

The blonde Yato, apparently named Abuto, let out a sigh before complying.

"Now back to my question from earlier, care to elaborate?" He redirected his focus to the redhead. She still didn't answer, instead bringing her purple umbrella up between her and his sword.

Then she suddenly twisted her body, bringing her leg up in a lightning-fast kick aimed for his stomach. He sidestepped the attack in the last second, thrusting out his katana in her direction, but she just blocked it with her umbrella.

"Are you suddenly too good to even say anything to me?" He grunted as he blocked one of her fists with his blade. She seemed unnerved, even if there was blood slowly dripping off her fingers.

She narrowed her eyes at him once again.

"Maybe you're just speechless because of my dashing good looks." He teased, continuing his one-sided conversation.

"As if, you annoying Chihuahua." She replied in irritation as her umbrella connected with his side. He swallowed down the spur of blood rising up his throat and let out a pained chuckle.

"Funny story, your brother once called me the same thing."

Her eyes darkened at the mention of her brother. "Don't mention that weakling to me ever again."

But then her face took on an innocent smile once more as she shot out a barrage of bullets at the Shinsengumi captain. "But it fits that you're so well acquainted with him, considering that you're not much stronger."

Okita leapt behind the desk, pulling it up to protect himself from the rain of bullets. His side was aching, and she probably hit some important organ. But that didn't stop him from making snide remarks. "Really? Because the way I see it, you're the one who's not much stronger than him."

He felt her moment of hesitation and he grinned. He grabbed the conveniently placed matches and sake bottle, igniting the alcohol and throwing his makeshift Molotov cocktail at his opponent.

Thank goodness the gorilla always had some sake in his office.

* * *

All the fighting stopped for a moment when an explosion suddenly took out quite a bit of the Shinsengumi compound. Priests were sent flying through the air as flames engulfed parts of the building. Once everybody's eyes had adjusted to the brightness, they could make out two figures within the rubble. One holding out an umbrella in front of itself, the other with a rocket launcher perched on its shoulder.

* * *

Of course, Abuto heard the explosion. How could one not? But he sure as hell wasn't going to save his captain's ass this time.

He peacefully continued looking through the papers in the Shinsengumi's archive, ignoring all the chaos ensuing outside.

* * *

She was pissed beyond anything. Kagura brought up a hand to the side of her face, confirming that the warm liquid she felt was indeed her blood. Her ears were still ringing from the loud blast, and her umbrella barely sustained the damage of the point blank bomb, very unlike her clothing, which was shredded. She pulled off the remains of the robes she wore over her duangua, noting that at least she still had enough fabric covering the important bits.

She made out the sadistic outline of her opponent, who somehow managed to get his hands on a rocket launcher amidst all the chaos. Her eyes swept to the front yard of the Shinsengumi compound, where many disbelieving looks were locked on her. The Harusame members.

She smiled at them and waved. Small fry like them was easy-peasy.

As expected they charged at her, abandoning their opponents. She waited to see whether the Shinsengumi officers were going to react in any similar fashion, but they did not.

However, Kagura still didn't trust them.

And somewhere in the crowd, she locked eyes with equally blue ones.

* * *

Kamui knew that whatever the reason for the explosion was, it couldn't have been good. Especially after two thirds of the priests suddenly stormed towards the burned down area. He approached the rowdy crowd, the unsettling feeling in his stomach growing and growing with every step.

The red-haired girl in the distance, standing among the broken pillars and planks, illuminated by the flames that hadn't quite died down yet, with blood running down her face and limbs like tears (as in when something is torn) were running through her clothes was smiling brightly, but fake. Her electric blue orbs found his in the distance, and then one look was enough to establish that things were still the same between them.

It said, " _Watch me. Watch me take down this crowd you were struggling with up till now. See how much stronger I'll always be."_

* * *

Okita momentarily looked surprised as designated priests suddenly began attacking his opponent. But she didn't even flinch, instead she smiled and waved at them, as if she had been expecting it all along.

What a weird girl. No, not girl. Pig-Elephant. What a weird Pig-Elephant.

And then, despite all her injuries, she spun through the mass of people and took them out flawlessly and gracefully, one after the other. Occasionally she fired her machine-umbrella-gun, clearing the wave in no time.

A crackling static interrupted his observations.

" _Sougo!"_

"Yes, Kondo?" He replied through the radio.

" _Are you at the compound?"_

"Yes."

" _What's the situation?"_

Okita glanced at the redhead who was only further destroying their training grounds, splattering blood all over it and leaving a pile of dead bodies behind.

"I have everything under control." He drawled.

" _Good, because Katsura just brought down a spaceship in the middle of Edo. Hold down the fort till we get back!"_

"Roger." He replied. Time to stop her rampage.

* * *

Revelling in the sound of crunching bones and dead bodies falling to the ground, she smiled on as another one bit the dust on the Shinsengumi grounds.

But the Shinsengumi members really didn't seem to have anything to do with the planning. The last priest fell and she decided to also take care of that annoying thorn in her foot, Captain Sougo Okita. She turned around the face him, only to get knocked in the face. Hard. With a rocket launcher.

* * *

He never actually expected that to work, but whatever.

She fell over backwards, landing on her backside, spluttering a few curse words as she held her nose.

Okita didn't waste a second, immediately straddling her to keep her down, the blade of his katana at her neck. He held both of her wrists over her head in a firm grasp.

"Why are you here and why are they targeting you? Answer me." He looked at her hard, unwilling to move his eyes off her until she said something.

"You don't know?" She asked as she narrowed her eyes at him.

There it was again, the calculating look. And suspicion.

"Why should I know what the Harusame is up to?" He inquired.

She thought about something for a few seconds before looking him straight in the eye and calmly stating, "They're trying to kill me."

"No shit, Sherlock." He deadpanned.

"Sherlock Holmes doesn't exist in this timeline." She cheekily replied.

"He does now. And answer the question before I make you, I will have you know that I have many methods in my arsenal." He announced.

"They're afraid of me." She summarized her situation with a smile. "The Elders and Admiral Asshole are afraid I'll overthrow them."

"Why are you suddenly telling me this?" He interrogated her.

She chuckled slightly. "They say women don't know what they want, but neither do you. You're going to start questioning my motives after you've undressed and forced yourself on me?"

"Don't change the topic." He tightened his grip around her small wrists, giving her a taste of her own medicine.

A dead body suddenly smacked him in the side, knocking him off the Yato's form. He coughed up the blood this time as he shakily stood up, glaring in the direction of where the projectile came from.

Burning blue eyes and a red braid dramatically waving in the air told him it was China Boy who made him loose his hold on his enemy.

She was up on her feet again, standing proudly.

"Why the fuck did you do that?" He glowered at the Yorozuya member.

"She may be an idiotic bitch, but she's still my sister."


	6. The Importance of Epic Entrances

"I don't need a weakling like you to protect me." Kagura sneered at her older brother. "And I refuse to acknowledge you as my  _brother_." She spat out the last word venomously, propping the remains of her umbrella on her shoulder.

"You still won't let go of what happened?" Kamui asked her sadly, but sternly.

She scoffed. "As if. Do you really think I'll just forgive you for what you did?" She glared at him. "That's not how things work, stupid weakling."

"You won't forgive me for saving your life? That's pretty ungrateful, don't you think?" He cocked his head to the side, trying to find some way to break through his sister's barriers. He knew why they were there, and that he was part of the reason.

He grimaced at the poisonous look she shot him. He understood why she was so bitter, why she was obsessed with power, why she saw him as weak. Hell, if things had just been a tad different, he would probably be just like her.

"You didn't save my life." She muttered. "You just refused to accept us as Yato. We don't need somebody like you tainting our race and our achievements."

"Do you really think our mother would approve of this?" He asked her seriously.

Anybody else would have not noticed anything, but this was his sister, whether she liked it or not.

"Don't bring Mami into this, she's been dead for a long time now. She has nothing to do with this." She muttered darkly, dropping her fake smile for a moment.

"That's funny, because I get the feeling that she has everything to do with this." Kamui answered calmly. "If she still had been well enough to see that happen, do you really think she'd have been happy?"

"Don't make me repeat myself." She took a deep breath. "You're not worth my time, get out of my way." She gestured with her hand for him to move.

"You're still hiding everything away, aren't you?" He asked her with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"No clue what you're talking about." She replied coldly.

They glared at each other, each one refusing to back down.

"I really hate to ruin your touching family moment," a strained voice broke the tense atmosphere. Okita pushed himself back on his feet, dusting some dirt off himself. "You're still on property of the Shinsengumi, and with me being the highest commanding officer present, you'll have to follow my orders."

"Don't make me laugh." Kagura scoffed. "Don't think you have any right to command me around, sandbag."

"Sandbag?" He raised an eyebrow. "That's a new one. Anyway, since you're on Earth, I guess you should do as the earthlings do."

"Do I look like I give a fuck?" Kagura snapped. "I should have just stayed on the ship with my rice cooker and ignored that bloody admiral." She grunted in frustration.

"The admiral that wants you dead?" Okita prodded.

"Yes, that fucking asshole." She wrinkled her forehead. "And what do you mean you're the highest commanding officer present? I highly doubt anybody with a brain would put you in charge of anything."

"I could throw that right back at you." He drawled.

"I'm pretty sure I just said that the admiral is an asshole. He also happens to not know how to use a brain." She replied smoothly.

"I never said Kondo-san knew how to use his brain either."

She smiled condescendingly. "Looks like nobody around here seems to know how to do that."

"You should stop looking down on those around you." Kamui chided her. "It's going to get you in a sticky situation sooner or later."

"Hmpf. I don't need advice from you. Get out of my sight before I make you." She treathened.

"My promise still stands," Kamui crouched slightly, getting into a stance and bringing up his umbrella. "I will fix you."

His sister broke out in laughter. "Again with the idiotic things you say. A worthless piece of shit like you has nothing good to say."

His eyes turned grim. "I know I made mistakes in the past, but at least I stand to them. You're still ignoring them and covering them with the blood of your victims."

"Even you can't deny that it's a really nice shade of red." She stood straight and tossed her battered parasol to the side. "If you won't move, I'll just show you which one of us is the superior one here. And I'm sure your blood will do just fine to cover up your mistakes."

* * *

A maniacal laughter echoed through the hallway. Amanto scurried around frantically, the beeping sounds and sirens accompanying their hurried footsteps.

"Where the fuck are those intruders?!" A gruff voice bellowed.

A cowering half-fish shakily stood in front of him. "W-We don't know, sir. We only know all the alarms are going off."

"I know that, you bloody moron!" His imposing voice thundered against the narrow walls. "But I want their location so I can throw them off my ship!"

"W-We're doing the best we can, sir!"

"That's obviously not good enough." He seethed. "Do better."

The Captain of the Eighth Division of the Harusame watched as his subordinate ran off. "Why do I have the incompetent people?" He muttered to himself as he turned to head the other way.

"That is not how one should treat their subordinates!" A voice called out. The Amanto warrior turned towards the source of the voice.

"What has a puny human lost on my spaceship?" He growled.

"It's not puny human, it's Katsura." The man announced himself. Another four humans appeared behind him.

"And we're here to take down your spaceship."

* * *

Kamui gritted his teeth as her punch made impact with his face, and he expected there to be a sickening crunch, but he managed to bring his elbow up in time to keep the damage under control.

His sister scowled, distorting the pretty features she had inherited from their mother. He licked his lips, tasting the warm blood in his mouth in the process. She really had done them in well. He glanced over at his temporary partner, the sadist, and realized he had abandoned his bazooka in favour of mobility. He was clutching his side, probably from all the damage he had taken during the explosion and everything that followed soon after.

"You see, you're weak." Kagura said condescendingly. "You have no chance against me. Even in your little tag-team."

"You're not looking too well either, China." Okita grinned, before coughing up some more blood. Seriously, plot armour will always be too OP.

"Well, at least I don't look like a Chihuahua that just got run over by multiple cars." She retorted.

"That really hurts, you know. Right here." He pointed to his chest.

"What, are you talking about the organs I crushed just now? Or your non-existent heart?" She was back to smirking now.

"Now that really hurts my feelings. I should arrest you for that." He deadpanned. "But, oh look, we're already on Shinsengumi grounds, which means…" He grinned sadistically. "…that my word is law."

"I've already told you, I don't give a fuck."

"Those aren't very good manners, are they?" Kamui interrupted them. "You should always respect your host to a certain extent."

"I've never seen you respect us in any way, you know?" Okita remarked in response.

"Don't sweat the details, Chihuahua." The redhead hissed.

"Yes, I can see the respect." He replied, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"You hope to take me down together even if you don't get along? What a joke…" Their opponent crossed her arms over her chest, looking smug, but they didn't miss the cringe in her features as she apparently moved something she shouldn't have.

"Seriously, little sister. You're not looking to well."

She cracked her knuckles, slightly wincing once more. "I'll make you swallow those words."

She stormed towards him, ignoring the soaring pain shooting throughout her body, fuelled only by rage. She engaged him in a flurry of punches and kicks, pushing him to the limits of his dodging abilities.

A well-timed roundhouse kick disengaged the sneaky Shinsengumi captain who had attempted to cut her down from behind with one of the katanas lying around. He coughed hard and took a few ragged breaths, telling her she had hit his chest area.

Her brother took the opportunity to land a hit on her during her mere second of misplaced concentration. Her body reacted to the impact, but her face showed no signs of feeling the pain.

"A measly disgrace like you cannot touch me." She growled. Blue eyes met equally blue eyes as they stared each other down. After a few attempted punches and blocks, they found each other tight-holding the other. He had his hand around her upper arms while she held one of his wrists and his elbow.

She suddenly jumped back in a defensive stance, letting go of the fabric of his clothes at the same time which made him topple over backwards.

A wooden sword came down between them at that exact moment.

"I see…" The lazy voice of the head of the Yorozuya said. "I see you know to fear my Tessaiga."

"I'm pretty sure that spells out 'Lake Toya'." Kagura read aloud.

"Psssh, Kamui's sister, you're ruining the moment." He whisper-yelled at her.

"What moment? You pathetically failing at your dramatic, heroic entrance?" She stemmed her hand on her hip, this time supressing her urge to wince.

Shock morphed on the silver-haired man's face as he turned to the battered Kamui. "Your sister is really mean, you know?"

Kamui sighed and began to push himself up again. "Tell me about it."

He then cleared his throat and faced the vermillion-haired girl again. "If that was a failure, what would you have suggested I do instead?"

She raised an eyebrow at him. "You're not… actually serious, are you?"

"I am completely serious." His usually dead-fish-like eyes were shining brightly, almost flashing red.

"If these are the kind of people my brother hangs out with, it's no wonder he's so weak. All of this is boring."

"No, young Miss, I'm afraid you are the boring one if you haven't indulged yourself in the heaven of manga." Gintoki dramatically put the back of his hand to his forehead. "You are the truly tragic one here."

"Don't forget to mention all the copyright…" Another voice spoke up. Shinpachi joined his two co-workers and the sandy-haired captain as they stood together opposite of Kagura. She looked at all four of them unbiased.

Another man appeared behind her. "Commander."

"Abuto, nice of you to join us." She greeted him without looking at him.

He assessed the situation and sighed. "Why do you always get yourself in trouble like this?"

* * *

Katsura smugly overlooked the burning ruins of the former Harusame Eighth Division main ship. Runaway Kotarou still had it in him.

Elizabeth held up a sign. He nodded and walked down the stairs, meeting up with Takasugi at the bottom.

"Ahhh, that really took me back, you know? Back then, Gintoki, Sakamoto and the two of us. Good times, good times." Takasugi said with a pleased undertone. He inhaled deeply from his pipe and let out the smoke a few seconds later.

Katsura watched the frantic Shinsengumi officers huddle up and down, and in the middle of the chaos two lone, calm figures. "It does bring back memories." He admitted. "But I wouldn't know whether 'good' is the right word to describe them."

His gaze stayed trained on the black-haired man who just lit a cigarette and the gorilla standing next to him.

"Oh please, our times as the Joi Elite Four really had it in it. Cutting down waves and waves of Amanto, destroying all around us. We should really do that again."

Katsura glanced over at him. "All four of us have befriended Amanto over the past few years. You and Leader seem to understand each other pretty well, I have Elizabeth by my side, Gintoki has Kamui and Sakamoto has his second-in-command. I don't know how they would feel about us doing that."

"You're forgetting something there," Takasugi explained. "Humans use the term 'Amanto' for everything that isn't human. The four you mentioned just now all belong to either the Yato or the Renho tribes. There are so many more species and races out there, and we group them under one word. 'Amanto'."

"Talking about that, have you received a status update from Leader?" The black-haired man inquired.

Takasugi let out another puff of smoke. "Not yet, but I have the feeling we'll get to see something interesting if we head over to the Shinsengumi compound."

"Why do you say that?"

"I have another stash of Yakulk there."

* * *

"Commander, what's all this?" Abuto asked his captain. She was obviously injured quite a bit, but she was still standing tall against her foes.

"This moron brought some play mates." She answered him, nodding her head towards the other Yato.

Abuto let his eyes roam over their four opponents. The one all the way on the left, a sandy-haired man of no more than twenty, the Shinsengumi captain. One further to the right, a Yato with equally red hair and blue eyes as his captain, Kamui. One more to the right, a shorter male with a black bowl cut and glasses. Abuto took note of the katana strapped to his sash, but dismissed him as a threat anyway. But the last one, the one all the way to the right, that one looked about ready to explode. His red eyes were sparking furiously and his aura seemed akin to a demon's.

"He gets no reprimanding for his below average entrance?!" He suddenly screeched, pointing an accusing finger at the blonde Yato.

"What?" he asked in confusion just as Kagura facepalmed and let out a loud groan of frustration.

"You're still going on about that?" She asked exasperatedly.

"Yes! Until you understand the importance of an epic entrance to a fight, I will keep bringing it up. That one time when Ichigo ju-AHHHHH!" He suddenly scrambled to side when a big bulk of wood came flying towards him.

Abuto wearily eyed his panting captain as she let her annoyance show on her face. "You shouldn't be doing such things in your condition, you know?"

"Shut up and let me kill him."

* * *

"Do we have any intel on why the ship was even here in the first place?" Hijikata grumbled while lighting his tenth cigarette that hour.

The officer opposite of him shook his head. "I'm afraid not, sir. But there might be a connection between the attempted take-over of the Shogun's castle and this. We think we should question some of the Joishishi that were among the priests."

"I see." The Shinsengumi Vice Captain responded. "In that case I'll leave cleaning up this mess here to you while Kondo and I head back to check on things."

"Ah, there's no reason to worry, Toshi." The gorilla patted his back. "I talked to Sougo just now and he has everything under control back there."

"Sougo… has everything under control?" The black-haired man repeated in disbelief. "And I shouldn't worry? That's more than enough reason for me to worry!" He grabbed his superior by the collar and dragged him to the nearest patrol car. "We need to stop him NOW!"

* * *

"Sooo… If I would have come in as a gigantic, black rabbit with a scythe, would you have said anything?" Gintoki inquired with stern eyes.

"That sounds completely ridiculous." Kagura scoffed.

"And a big white tiger?" He pressed on.

"Will you just shut up already?"

"Oh, I know! You have something against tigers and rabbits, is that it?!" The samurai gasped. "Or maybe you lost your dear pet tiger and rabbit at a young age and it still traumatizes you till this day?"

"Gin, that's ridiculous." Shinpachi interrupted him. "Who the hell has a pet tiger, right Kamui?" He turned to the redhead for support.

"Weeeell…" said redhead chuckled awkwardly. "Have I ever told you that this Sadaharu would be the 27th one?"

"You had 27 pets? And a tiger?" Shinpachi felt like fainting.

"I'm surprised those tigers didn't eat you." Okita added in.

"Two actually. And I don't know whether you could count them as tigers, but they were pretty close." Kamui elaborated.

"They were actually hunting animals from a neighbouring planet." Kagura answered for him. "While they may have similar features to the earthling tigers, they're not the same."

"And the rabbit?" Gintoki probed.

"The first Sadaharu ever. It was many years ago wh-"

"Kamui! The flashback is scheduled for next chapter!" Shinpachi hissed.

"Oops, sorry."

"That's not important." Kagura put on a strained smile. "What's important is that I really want to kill all of you."

"We could just leave." Abuto remarked.

"What?" She glared at him icily. "Why the fuck would we do that?!"

"This is not part of our mission. We should just leave and regroup with Takasugi and Katsura." He explained. "We've already searched through the documents and taken out the Harusame members here, so there's nothing left to do."

He took his captain's glare head-on, resolving himself to convince her this time. They had already wasted enough time as it is.

"Wait!" The bespectacled boy shouted. "Did you just say Takasugi and Katsura?"

"That's none of your business, glasses." Kagura snipped at him. "Go back to playing the straight man somewhere else."

"I will show that I am more than just a straight man!" He roared as he charged at her. He pulled out his sword and swung it at her, only for it to be blocked by something else.

His vision was suddenly filled with white and he looked up to find a big, yellow beak. "…Elizabeth?" He asked in disbelief.

The Renho flipped its sign so that the Yorozuya could read it. "Don't hurt Leader."

"Leader?" Okita read aloud and frowned.

Kagura, on the other hand, let out a loud sigh. "Why are the two of you here?" She asked the two individuals who had appeared out of thin air.

"We came to see what was taking you so long, Kagura." The one-eyed part of the duo responded, pipe in hand and smoking without a care in the world.

"And Takasugi remembered his stash of Yakulk he left here." Katsura added.

"Yes, I suppose that was also an objective, but looking at the state of this place," He let his eyes roam over the rubble and small fires still poking up here and there. "I kinda wish I had destroyed it. It must've been fun. Even if the Yakulk went down as well, this sight is more than enough to compensate."

"ZURA! TAKASUGI!" An angry wavy-haired man shouted. "What are you two doing here?!"

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura."

"I believe I am free to do whatever I want to."

"Why are you siding with her?" Gintoki asked them.

"Gintoki, we have been good friends for many years, but I'm afraid my loyalty this time lies with Leader."

"We have similar ambitions in this world." Takasugi replied cryptically.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Another gruff voice spoke up, accompanied by the puffing sound of smoke being blown. "Two high-rate criminals just strolling into the Shinsengumi compound, this must be my lucky day."

Toshirou Hijikata slammed the door of the patrol car closed and approached the rest, still dragging his boss behind him by the collar.

His eyes took in all the damage and the barely-there remains of what was once the compound building. He dropped Kondo on the ground unceremoniously and stuck three cigarettes in his mouth and lit them all at once. Now it all just looked like scorched wasteland, littered in red and flames and injured people.

"Sougo… What the fuck happened to 'you have it under control'?" The Demon Vice Chief asked the sandy-haired man.

Okita discreetly tried to push away the bazooka at his feet and innocently replied, "I have no idea what you're talking about."


	7. Hair Braids And Band Aids

"Alright, so now we start the epic battle between Takasugi, Katsura, Kagura, Abuto, Kamui, Gin, Okita, Hijikata, Kondo and me!" Shinpachi announced happily.

"No, you moron." Kamui corrected him. "This is the flashback chapter, the big battle is next chapter."

"What?! But I was just getting my new special attack move ready!" Glasses whined.

"Nobody cares about that anyway. You're not even tagged in the story description."

* * *

_4-year-old Kamui smiled up at his mother, who was holding a bundle in her arms._

_"Look, Kamui." Kouka said gently as she bent down to his level. "This is your little sister, Kagura. Say hello to her."_

_The young boy wondrously looked at the small, crying baby. "She's not as pretty as you, Mami." He frowned at the flesh-coloured, wrinkled, hairless baby. "I thought she'd be."_

_His mother let out a chiming, light hearted laugh. "Dear, you have to hear this!" She called to the neighbouring room. A few seconds later, a tall man appeared in the door frame._

_"Yes?" Kankou asked his wife._

_"Kamui, why don't you repeat what you just said?" She giggled._

_"I said that she's not as pretty as Mami is." He pouted and looked to the side._

_His father roared in laughter, then put his hand on his son's shoulder. "Don't worry, all babies look like that at first." He said reassuringly. "Even you. But one day, she'll blossom into a fine young woman who will have both her father's and her mother's good looks."_

_"I think she's already prettier than you, Papi." His son grinned at him innocently._

_A tick mark appeared near Kankou's forehead. "What did you just say?"_

* * *

_"Ka-mu-i." She said it slowly, trying the word on her small tongue. "Kamui!"_

_He grinned at her. "Very good."_

_She smiled back at him and he gently ruffled her first bouts of bright red hair. "Now try this. Big bro-ther."_

_"Big bro- broth- bra-" She pouted when she couldn't get it._

_"Bro-ther."_

_"Big bro-za!" She exclaimed happily._

_"Close enough."_

* * *

_Kamui watched his younger sister from afar, as she stood over the small pile of dirt and tears ran down her face. "S-Sadaharu…" she choked out and sniffled._

_It had been a day since his sister had woken up to the dead rabbit in her arms after her Yato strength seemingly crushed it, but she was still too young to understand the extent of her powers. But she'd need to learn about the cycle of life eventually, anyway._

_He sighed and walked up behind her, putting a comforting hand on top of her radiant hair. "It'll be okay."_

_She glanced up at him through her vermillion bangs. "Will it really, big brother?"_

_He ruffled her hair. "Yeah, it will." He at least hoped, for both their sakes, that it would be._

_She turned around and slung her short arms around his stomach (due to their height difference) and pressed her face into his shirt._

_He continued patting her head soothingly while silent tears slowly began to moisten the fabric of his shirt._

_"It's all going to be alright." He whispered once more._

* * *

_"And then you take this outer strand and fold it over, right in the middle." Kouka's gentle voice rang through her bedroom._

_Kamui cringed at the next harsh tug on his hair, but resisted the urge to cry out in pain. The things he did for his little sister…_

_"Like this, Mami?" Kagura's blue eyes must've been shining brighter than the brightest sun in the universe, judging by her exited voice. He let a small smile form on his lips._

_Kouka chuckled. "Oh dear, Kagura, you knotted up his hair completely! We'll have to do this again. Let Mami show you once more…"_

_A few rough pulls and tugs on his hair later and a strand of his red hair fell over his shoulder. He hadn't even realised when his hair had grown that long._

_His mother's fingers ran through his hair as she divided it into three equal strands. "You take the one on the outside and put it in the middle, then the one on the other side and you also put it in the middle, you see?"_

_He could have laughed at his sister's clumsy attempts at doing his hair, but he was too distracted by the occasional bouts of pain when she pulled at the wrong strand._

_But it was a good kind of pain, a kind of pain he was willing to endure._

* * *

_She stood at the top of the stairs, clutching on to her purple umbrella._

_"Are you ready to go?" Kamui asked her._

_She continued watching the rain drops fall off the brim of her umbrella and nodded. She took his held out hand and put her small one in it._

_"Say, big brother?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"When will the rain stop?"_

_Kamui glanced at the dark grey sky past the brim of his own opened umbrella. "I don't know, little sister, I don't know."_

* * *

_The moment she laid her eyes on him, she ran towards him and immediately hid behind him. Kamui raised an eyebrow in surprise, looking over to where she had been standing._

_Three other, semi-menacing Amanto glowered at him, annoyed expressions on their faces. Kagura cowered a bit more behind him when they shot her a poisonous look._

_"Remember what we told you, squirt." One of them warned her before the three of them disappeared into the alleys of Rakuyou._

_Once they were out of ear-shot, he glanced down at his younger sister. "What was all that about?"_

_She looked away nervously. "N-Nothing."_

_He sighed and knelt down in front of her so that they were on the same eye-level. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"_

_She nodded furiously, but her six-year old mind already knew how to lie._

* * *

_"Don't you want to come in?" He asked his little sister who was sitting on the staircase in front of their house._

_She continued looking up at the grey night sky and shook her head. "I never get to see the sky. It's either raining or the sun is shining."_

_Kamui sighed and sat down next to her. "Papi told me that sometimes you can see the stars, and that all stars are like Rakuyou."_

_"Really?"_

_He nodded. "Really. Whenever he travels, he gets to see new civilisations and meet new people."_

_Her face brightened with a smile. "I also want to see all those stars one day!"_

_"All right, how about we visit the most beautiful together, okay?" He ruffled her hair affectionately._

_"It's a promise! And not just the most beautiful one, but all of them!" She exclaimed._

_"Haha, I don't think we can do that... but we can still try." He picked her up at the collar and turned back towards the house._

_"Big brother! I want to continue looking at the sky!" She flailed around with her arms and legs._

_"It's just grey. Let's look at the sky again when we can actually see the stars."_

* * *

_"Kagura, what are you doing?" Her mother's tired voice said._

_She looked up at her mother, determination burning in her eyes. "I'll help you get better." It was a statement, no questions asked._

_"Oh sweetheart, that's not something you need to worry about." She reached out to pat her daughter's head, but only manged to limply place her hand on top of her vermillion tresses._

_Ten-year-old Kagura sighed and took her mother's pale hand into her own, giving it a tight squeeze._

_"If I don't worry about you, Mami, who will?" Her voice was filled with sadness and disappointment. Disappointment of him and their father, he reckoned._

_"What are you talking about?" Kouka asked her daughter._

_"Papi hasn't been home in months, and big brother leaves more and more often as well. There's nobody here besides me and you."_

_He clenched his fists by his side and decided to leave his place at the doorframe, before either of them realized he was there._

* * *

_Kamui was strong. Yato were strong. And he was even stronger, because the legendary Umibouzo was his father._

_That was also why he was a monster._

_But if he was a monster, what was his sister?_

* * *

_He never saw those three suspicious guys ever again. But then again, this was Rakuyou, a place notorious for its loose rules and high criminality rate. This was the place all the exiles gathered, so people disappearing wasn't too rare of an occurrence._

_Which is why their father had been so adamant about their training. They were Yato. They were strong. But a trained Yato was even stronger._

_They had to be as strong as possible._

_That was the underlying mantra, with each punch they practiced, every well executed kick, every stretch and bend, every flexed muscle, all of it boiled down to one thing._

_Get stronger._

_They were living in a dangerous place on a dangerous planet. With every day, every passing minute, every second, reality became clearer and clearer._

_Hunt or be hunted._

_Eat or be eaten._

_The first one to understand this had been Kagura. After their mother's health had begun to dwindle, she matured extremely fast._

_She took on the responsibilities in their house, doing all the things Kouka had done up to that point._

_Kankou left on a journey in search of a cure, but every time he came back, it was empty-handed. The periods of his journeys grew longer and longer, and soon the two of them were forced to do small odd jobs here and there to gather enough money to sustain their family._

_It wasn't until shortly after Kagura's twelfth birthday that he took full notice of it. What started off as a friendly spar quickly turned into something much, much worse._

_She engaged hard, aimed precisely and punched hard and rough. And it was quite a punch. She was fast, mobile and it almost seemed as if she was experienced._

_The thought sickened him more than it should have, and he couldn't bring himself to say anything while he lay on the ground coughing up blood._

_"I expected more of you, big brother." Her voice was icy and cold, void of any emotion but disappointment._

_He pushed himself of the ground, watching her back as she went back inside the house._

_So those were the kinds of things she did for money._

* * *

_He didn't talk to his mother about it. Ever._

_She had more than enough worries already, and telling her that Kagura had gotten involved with the people she was supposed to have been shielded from was not something he wanted to burden her with._

_So he smiled. As did Kagura._

_But he never missed the way she would hide her bandaged fists behind her back._

* * *

_Their father wasn't there._

_It was their mother's funeral, and the last member of their family wasn't there. He knew Kagura was bitter and mad and furious, but she hid it under a wall of ice and stone._

_She didn't even cry._

_All those tears over a dead rabbit, but none for her mother._

* * *

_In the moment it happened, he was shocked. A few seconds later, he wondered why he had been surprised in the first place._

_It was an ugly, ugly truth after all._

_Almost as ugly and terrifying as Kagura standing opposite of their father, blood splattered across her clothes, feral bloodlust dancing in her eyes as she dangled Kankou's arm from her fingers._

_He wanted to be horrified, but could he be horrified of something he had watched grow? The seed of hatred had grown inside of her, but he only watched, never intervened._

_His father – no, Umibouzo – shared that same look in his eyes. Pure rage, a beast on the hunt, focused on his prey. They were both hunters, but one was the other's prey._

_He didn't remember screaming, shouting, telling them to stop._

_But his father's defeated look once realization dawned upon him and his sister's furious eyes told him that he had been heard._

_But could he really call them his father and sister anymore? Because, up until a few seconds ago, they had been nothing but animals._

* * *

_She was fourteen. He ran after her, trying to stop her._

_She was fourteen._

_After the fiasco with their father, she had looked at their house one more time and then she took off, running towards the centre of the town area._

_Kamui sprinted and urged his legs to go faster and faster, but Kagura had always been faster than him. He turned the corner in time for him to see her drop their father's maimed arm in front of another Yato._

_Housen._

_He was just about to call her out, but she turned to him with a look cold enough to freeze over hell._

_He couldn't do anything while he watched her leave with Umibouzo's nemesis and the tall blonde Yato._

* * *

_He returned home afterwards, but his father had only left a note on the table._

_Restock ointments and bandages. I left on another assignment._

_-Papi_

_Kamui's blue eyes landed on the small bin in the corner of the kitchen which was now filled with bloody towels and clothes._

_He crumpled the note with his father's handwriting and threw it into the bin. That man had the gall to call himself Papi._

_What a no-good father._

_What a no-good sister._

_What a no-good family._

* * *

_It didn't take him many meals of lonely egg on rice to make his decision._

_Leave._

_His father wasn't coming back anytime soon, and neither was his sister._

_There was nothing left for him on this no-good planet._

* * *

_It was no surprise that the first job offer he got on this new planet would be to beat up humans. The reputation of the Yato must proceed him._

_But the real surprise was the unlikely duo of a silver-haired samurai and a bespectacled boy who got him out of his troubles._

_The unlikely duo that gave him a real (yet underpaying) job._

_The unlikely duo that became his new family._


	8. UNO Is A Game For Men, Not For Children

Shinpachi felt small next to the impeding presences of the Joi 3 and the Yato siblings. Their auras were strong and clashed while they were merely standing opposite of each other.

The Shinsengumi members were not to be underestimated either. They were still the property owners of this piece of barren wasteland and that was a title they were not giving away anywhen in the near future.

The tension was strong, and all surrounding humans and Amanto didn't dare say a word.

Shinpachi gulped.

Katsura was the first to speak. "Leader, I believe we will have to settle this our way."

The redhead nodded with conviction. "I trust you have the equipment?"

"Of course, I'm always prepared." He replied with a light bow and reached into the insides of his kimono.

The glasses' stand heart rate rose by the second, and he couldn't begin to fathom what Katsura was going to present them with once his hand reappeared. He looked at the other participants, sure that they were just as anxious as him and-

Takasugi was in the process of relighting his pipe and adjusting the bandage over his face a bit. Gintoki picked his nose and flicked his booger off to the side. Kamui found something in Sadaharu's fur and was trying to get it out. Okita was cleaning his bazooka while Kondo was suddenly missing a few teeth and Hijikata was wiping gorilla saliva and blood off his knuckles.

The only person who looked about ready to pee their pants was Madao.

"Oi! What's with this atmosphere?!" Shinpachi exclaimed. "This is going to break out into an epic fight any moment, what the hell are all of you doing?!"

"Obviously, we're waiting for Zura." Gintoki remarked sarcastically.

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura." The terrorist corrected his former comrade-in-arms.

"Katsura, are you sure you brought it?" Kagura asked her ally with a hint of impatience.

"Yes, yes, I'm sure it's here!" He answered while digging through the other side of his kimono. After pulling out multiple questionable objects, his face lit up in triumph as he pulled out a small, red, rectangular shape.

Takasugi focused on his fellow rebel and put on a serious battle face, as did Kamui, who cracked his knuckles for extra measure.

Shinpachi was about to let out a furious battle cry when he realised exactly what Katsura had taken out of his pocket.

"Are those… UNO cards?" He asked in disbelief.

"How else did you expect us to settle this?" Okita chimed in with unusual life in his voice. His red eyes were burning and he looked ready to tear somebody apart bare-handed.

"I… I don't know! Epic battles, fires, swords, honour… Anything but this!" Shinpachi shouted while banging his head against the nearest remains of a wall.

"This is an epic, honourable fight." Katsura explained while the others just nodded in agreement. "You will not insult it."

"It's a card game! There's nothing epic about it!" Shinpachi started wheezing hard after his shouting barrage, and he stared at them in disbelief.

"The only thing more epic than UNO is mayonnaise." The Demon Vice-Chief explained, having dropped Kondo back on the ground with a lit cigarette between his teeth.

"You're the only person who cares about that dog food." Okita teased.

"It's not dog food, moron."

"Stop your nonsense, and let us begin." Katsura announced, getting everybody's attention.

He began spreading the cards into ten equal stacks. Kagura swept aside some rubble to form a cleared, circular pattern on the ground. Everybody except Shinpachi sat down in the circle and Katsura placed the remains of the stack in the middle.

"Oi, Shinpachi." Kamui called out to him. "You can sit here." He pointed at the vacant space next to him.

"Why do I have to be the straight guy?" He muttered to himself as he let himself drop on the designated spot.

With high reluctance he took his stack and looked at his cards. And looked again. And again.

"Kondo, how kind of you to pass your move. But I'm afraid you'll still need to take a card from the stack." Katsura said to the unconscious gorilla and placed another card on the man's stack.

"Hey, Katsura…" Shinpachi said slowly while lowering his cards. "This is UNO, right?"

"Of course, weren't you listening just now?" Takasugi answered.

"If this is UNO, then what the fuck are Pokémon cards doing in my stack?!" He threw his cards on the ground, revealing a very familiar Eevee card amongst the colourful numbers. "And why does its backside look like an UNO card?!"

Kondo suddenly came back to life and let out a dramatic gasp. "That card! It couldn't be!"

"Is that…? No, it was destroyed in the factory fire, it shouldn't exist!" Kamui fearfully eyed the brown Pokémon.

"Hah!" A triumphant look glowed on Katsura's face. "It is indeed the legendary Eevee that was created because the factory workers let the cat trample around on the controls which switched the templates around, but no, it didn't go down in the fire. I, Katsura, was able to save it!"

"Tch." Takasugi clicked his tongue. "I'm afraid not even my +4 card can counter an attack from the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon."

Shinpachi furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and picked up the card in order to inspect it closer. A blank look draped itself on his face while he stood still for a few seconds before releasing a loud scream. "WHY CAN AN EEVEE USE A NEO ARMSTRONG CYCLONE JET ARMSTRONG CANNON?! WASN'T IT JUST PORN?!"

* * *

Shinpachi couldn't help but think about how ridiculous this must look from an outside perspective. Ten people sitting in a circle amongst rubble and flames, staring intently at cards. He tiredly looked at his hand and pulled out a green 3 and put on top of the other cards. This was just so absurd.

It was also ridiculous how terrible Katsura was at the game, even though these were his cards. Speaking of which, he was currently examining his own hand with so much concentration that Shinpachi could swear there was an aura surrounding him, not that that helped with his rotten luck.

The special Eevee card lay next to the deck, since all members agreed that the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon was just to overpowered and the winner would immediately be determined by who held the card.

The ten of them continued playing in silence, until the first +4 card was placed on the stack by Kagura. She made eye contact with Takasugi, who was sitting next to her, and chose yellow.

He smirked and confidently and put down a yellow +2 card and grinned at Katsura, who probably for the first time that day, was lucky enough to have a green +2 card on hand. The terrorist shot the next in turn, Hijikata, a shit-eating grin before putting his card on top of the others.

Hijikata calmly took his cigarette out of his mouth and flicked another yellow +2 card on top of the pile, giving Okita a meaningful look. The sadistic police officer merely nodded and put his blue +2 card with equally little enthusiasm on top of Hijikata's. Kondo joined them and put a red +2 card on the stack as well.

Shinpachi stared at the red card signing him up for eternal doom, then reluctantly put his only good card down on the pile. "I choose green." He sighed in defeat, saying goodbye to his precious +4 card.

Kamui broke out into a grin and winked at Shinpachi, putting a green +2 card on the stack. This wasn't going to end well, especially with Gin's eminent troll face as he let a red +2 card dramatically sail on top of the others and smirked at Abuto.

The blonde Yato yawned and placed his own +2 card, blue one, on the stack, and calmly looked over at his captain. She smiled into the round and pulled out a yellow +2 card from her deck. Takasugi audibly sighed and flicked a green +2 on to the stack, only to be met with the sight of a sweating Katsura.

He trembled in silence before putting his cards on the ground face-down and beginning to count with his fingers. "Well, I guess that makes one, two, three… a lot of cards."

With that, the atmosphere suddenly grew tense. Everybody cautiously let their eyes flicker between each other. Hijikata quietly put down his cards as well and let his fingers crawl towards the handle of his katana while Katsura was still desperately trying to count out how many cards he had to draw from the stack now.

Takasugi tapped his pipe against the ground, getting rid of the access ash and inconspicuously rested his hand near his sheathed katana.

Katsura scratched the side of his head until Kagura also put down her cards and leaned over to him and whispered "28" into his ear. His face grew enlightened as he began to draw from the stack, counting enthusiastically in the process.

But Kamui didn't fail to notice that his sister didn't pick up her cards again, instead she placed both her arms behind her, suspiciously close to her magically repaired umbrella.

He mirrored her action, slowly wrapping his hand around the handle of his own purple parasol.

Katsura continued counting down as he took card after card from the pile. "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, on-"

Before he even finished the saying the number, he along with the majority of the others all jumped up, pointing their drawn weapons at each other. Shinpachi stared at them all in confusion, shocked by the sudden change in pacing. UNO cards sailed through the air like cherry blossoms while everybody glared each other down with their best evil eye.

Then, in a split second, everybody charged into the middle of the circle. Kamui headed straight for his sister, forcefully pushing Gintoki into Takasugi in the process of breaking through. Kondo thrust his sword at Katsura, who laughed and threw his UNO cards into the air, using them as a distraction to circle around the Gorilla. And, for whatever reason, Okita chose this as the perfect moment to murder Hijikata.

"Sougo, you fucking bastard! What do you think you're doing?" He seethed at his fellow officer. "They're the enemy, go and kill them!"

"I felt like giving them a handicap, since we outnumber them." He drawled in reply.

"Go and commit seppuku."

* * *

Meanwhile, Kagura skilfully dodged her brother's kick and jumped over him with ease, aiming a kick to the back of his head. He turned around and grabbed her leg in order to fling her to the side of the ruins of the Shinsengumi compound. She cursed mid-air and landed in a crouch, pulled up her umbrella and pointed the machine gun at her opponent, immediately opening fire.

He shielded himself from her bullets by opening his umbrella and letting the special fabric absorb his sister's deadly attacks. Using the cover, he ran towards her, careful to keep her movements in sight.

She was fast, he knew that. And she was more experienced and more skilled than he was, so all the more reason for him to be cautious. The Yato blood in his veins was pumping furiously, exited to battle once more.

He caught sight of her smiling at him before she vanished. He sensed her movements, telling him that she was behind him. He swung his umbrella around, blocking her attack in the nick of time.

This was not going to be easy.

* * *

Takasugi calmly placed his pipe back into the folds of his kimono while holding the sheath of his katana against Gintoki's bokuto.

"I believe we're still even, correct? How about we change that?" He asked his silver-haired former comrade.

"Are you that desperate to lose to me?"

He scoffed. "I think you're the one who's going to lose to me."

They charged at each other, swords clashing, and Gintoki took the initiative to pull back and aim for the head, something Takasugi saw coming and blocked with ease. He took a step back and changed into a different position, ready to aim for his former comrade's arms.

"This seems familiar, does it not?" He smirked at the silver-haired man. "Brings back memories."

Gintoki pushed his blade aside, avoiding injury and shook his head. "It doesn't bring back memories, it brings back nightmares."

"Heh, it's all a question of perspective. I believe we were their nightmares." Takasugi answered.

* * *

Katsura had hoped the distraction would be enough to take down the Shinsengumi Chief, but he had apparently underestimated the Gorilla.

"Neat trick you did there, but I'm afraid it won't be enough to cut me down." The gorilla laughed while blocking Katsura's attacks.

"We shall see about that." The Joishishi leader replied. They were both talented swordsmen, but now was the time to find out who was better than the other.

Their swords met with an ear-piercing screech as they forcefully tried to push the other back, but both held their ground as sturdy as a rock. This was a test of strength, after all, one that neither one of them was willing to lose.

* * *

Shinpachi took in the scenarios with a blank look on his face, slowly turning towards the last member still sitting in the circle with him. It was the tall, blonde Yato who served Kamui's sister, Abuto.

"I don't really want to fight, you know?" The Yato yawned into his palm. "It's not really worth it. Violence isn't the way to solve just about anything. How about this, human, we continue playing UNO while the rest of them are being total idiots, sound good?"

Shinpachi tried his best to smile and nodded mutely. Anything to get him out of severe trouble. With trembling fingers, he reached for the scattered cards and began to shuffle them, all while anxiously looking at Abuto, praying he doesn't change his mind halfway through.

* * *

Fortunately for Kamui, Kagura had kept her basic fighting style, the style they had learned from their father. Most of her moves were easy to read and anticipate, however, the strength and force behind them had increased significantly in comparison to when they were just kids.

But that didn't stop his ability to predict her moves. She was going all offense, attacking so rapidly in an attempts to keep him on the defensive. This style worked for her best, after all. She was flexible and highly mobile, but he had more brute strength when it came down to it. However, she had found a way to evade that problem. She always blocked his strikes with her parasol, always keeping an eye on his exact movements, every shift and every place his eyes briefly looked towards.

And while she had managed to land multiple significant hits on him, she was practically untouched, only slightly injured from their previous scuffle. Their short session of UNO was enough to heal up partially, but apparently not enough. He spotted the reddish remains of a heling burn mark on her arm and readied himself for his underhanded move. He let her fist come dangerously close to his face before wrapping his hand around her exposed burn, digging his fingernails into the unprotected flesh.

She hissed loudly and elbowed him in the face as a response, then clutched her wounded arm close to herself.

"You're going to pay for that." She threatened with a dangerously low voice.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You left me no choice."

She cracked her knuckles, obviously still effected from blocking the Sadist's sword with her bare hands just now, and winced. "You always have the choice to drop dead, big brother."

Taken by surprise that she had officially acknowledged him, he had no time to block her next attack, a good old punch to the face. He heard the audible crack of his nose probably breaking and felt the warm liquid gush over his face.

Great, now he just looked like one big pervert.

He caught her second fist in time and attempted to fling her away once more, but she caught on to his plan and managed to cling on to his arm similar to a koala on a branch. She used this opportunity to try and kick him in the face, but he bent his neck away from the trouble before it could impact.

Kamui feinted falling forwards, which made her jump off as a precaution to avoid being trapped under him, coincidentally freeing him in the progress. He made use of the second it took her to land and steady herself again and aimed his parasol at her, unleashing a wave of bullets.

She leapt into the air in response, managing to dodge all bullets and land behind a piece of concrete wall.

Now it was a test of speed and reaction. Who would be able to shoot the other first?

* * *

Takasugi, until this day, had no idea how Gintoki's wooden sword could withstand the blows from his katana. He struck and parried and attacked and blocked, but that bokuto was made of something stronger than metal.

It was an odd, but familiar routine sparring against Gintoki. He remembered the old days, when they would fight each other under the watchful eye of their teacher Shouyo.

But then he would always remember the sight of the dismembered head rolling on the ground, a sight that would always spark his inner anger and rage.

That picture in mind, he attacked Gintoki.

* * *

The leader of the Joishishi versus the Shinsengumi Chief. Katsura smirked to himself as he casually slipped a bomb into Kondo's coat and immediately distanced himself from the explosive.

Unlike the police, he wasn't afraid of doing amoral things. The explosion resonated across the compound and took down some more of the already destroyed building, but the gorilla was still standing.

"Gorillas have tougher skin than you think. And now…" His eyes glinted. "Now I shall repay you for all the times you messed with our toilet paper!"

* * *

Shinpachi sighed as he reluctantly drew another card from the stack. It seemed like Katsura's bad luck had transferred to him as he stared at the yellow 9 looking back at him, then he glanced at the red 5 that had put a significant halt to either of the two player's progression.

Abuto also reached for another card and shook his head, indicating that their current standstill would last longer. Where the hell had all the red cards disappeared to?

* * *

Okita and Hijikata had successfully snuck way from the fray and entered the Shinsengumi's weapon room, procuring items that would set their victory in stone, even if Hijikata was wary of the way Sougo's eyes were sparkling at the sight of his beloved bazookas.

* * *

Madao sat quietly in the middle of the ruins, sulking away as nobody seemed to pay attention to him. "They didn't even let me play UNO with them, and here I thought I had finally become Kenpachi…"


	9. Tranquilizers Work Best In Overdose

An eerie silence surrounded him, only accompanied by the pounding sound in his head, as if somebody was repeatedly smashing a gong right next to his ear. He wanted to bring his hands up to cup his ears, to save himself from the horrid noise, but he found himself unable to. He grunted as he attempted to move his suddenly aching body and quickly found part of the reason for his difficulty in moving. His wrists strained against cold metal of sorts, and once the pounding in his head started to die down with his growing consciousness, he could hear the soft clinks whenever he moved them.

He opened his eyes slowly, wondering what had happened between now and his last vivid memory of collecting weapons with Hijikata in the Shinsengumi basement.

During the time his eyes needed to focus on the dark environment around him, he could make out a vibrant red head just a few metres away from him.

"China Boy?" he asked without thinking, acting more on instinct than on actual thought.

The mop of hair seemed to react and turned towards him with a huff that by no means was male.

"So the dog is also awake now, how convenient." The unmistakable voice of Kagura said in a haughty fashion before turning back to whatever she was doing prior to him waking up.

Okita's eyes needed some time to adjust to the darkness, but once they did, he recognized her feminine form and saw that she was examining the bars of whatever place they were currently being held in.

His head was still aching like crazy, but the sight of a prison cell was no stranger to him, even if he didn't expect to be enjoying the view from the inside of one of them anytime soon.

He sat up slowly, feeling the blood rush down from his head and circulating his entire body, bringing on another wave of queasiness within him. "What happened?" He groaned out after it passed.

The female Yato paused in her movements and turned back to him. "You don't remember?"

He shook his head, examining her further. She was bound by a straight-jacket of sorts, unlike him who was merely bound by a pair of shackles behind his back. Her blue eyes looked tired, and rings of darkness were already forming under them.

How long had they been here? How long hadn't she slept? How long had  _he_  slept?

She was wearing a different outfit from the last time he had seen her, back at the compound and facing off her brother… What happened?

She faced the bars again and let out a somewhat bitter chuckle. "I guess they got me. I didn't expect them to drag you along though, I thought they'd leave a sewer rat like you behind." Although she was clearly worn out, her condescending nature didn't seem to be suffering in the slightest.

He sighed and tugged at his shackles. "What's keeping a monster like you from breaking through those?", he motioned towards her new attire. "They must be like paper to you, right?" He decided to give up on getting an answer for his first question, instead skipping to the next thing bothering him.

He'd find out how he got here sooner or later, and even more important, how to get out.

"I have no need to answer to weaklings." She replied, slipping back into her smiling persona she always presented.

"Yes, a weakling you failed to kill twice." He reiterated, putting on innocent airs, but not missing the way her shoulders tensed at his statement.

Just as she was about retort, her attention shifted to something else.

"Get down." She ordered, eyes trained on something outside of their prison. "Just get down and close your eyes. Don't make a sound."

He was about to ask her the meaning of this whole ordeal, but his instincts told him to listen to her and he lowered his upper body back on the hard ground.

They were interrupted by the sound of approaching footsteps and the appearance of a pig-like Amanto sneering down at the Yato at the front of the cell, as Okita could make out by squinting at it.

"You won't be smiling all high and mighty for long, Lightning Spear. Even monsters like you fear something, don't you?" The pig laughed and tossed a plate of food into the cell.

"You're right." Kagura responded with a cheery tone. "I definitely couldn't smile if I found out you had accidentally turned into the ham on my dinner plate. Nobody should have to live in the fear of accidentally being infected by your stupidity."

The pig's sneer dropped in an instant, morphing into an angry growl instead. "You little bitch… You'll be begging for mercy once our captain is done with you!"

"Heh." Okita could imagine the snide grin on her face. "You mean he'll be begging me for mercy once I'm done with him."

The pig growled at her again. "Don't forget that you're weak right now, little rabbit. You're no stronger than a pathetic human."

"Oh, so you're captain is too scared to take me on when I'm not sedated? I wonder how many important peoples' wives he wooed to get that position?" She shot back without a fear in the world, all too confidently.

Sougo caught the word 'sedated' and his mind went wild. Was there really a way to control monsters like them?

"You stupid cunt!" The pig roared, unlocking the cage in a heartbeat and lifting Kagura up by the collar of her straight-jacket. "To think the captain was considering letting you join his personal collection. You're just a filthy piece of trash that even looks can't save!"

"What, his personal collection of housewives? No thanks, I'm a classy girl." She responded smugly, followed by the pig Amanto tossing her to the ground in an act of rage.

"You'll regret your words soon enough." He seethed at her, forcefully locking the door again.

"Don't keep me waiting!" She called after him through the bars, further enraging him with her sing-song voice.

Once he was gone, Okita decided to speak up. "Why did you do that?"

She looked at him over her shoulder once again. "You're awfully tame today. Cat got your tongue?"

He felt the urge to roll his eyes, but resisted. She was avoiding answering all of his questions, and he wasn't going to let that slip by. "You know what I mean." He said seriously.

"You never know who's listening." She replied cryptically, returning to her previous occupation of staring at the bars.

He sighed. "Do you think laser beams are going to shoot out of your eyes if you do that long enough or what?"

She shrugged with her shoulders, at least it looked like that from behind, he couldn't really tell with the heavy fabric wrapping itself around her slim form. "That'd be pretty cool, but no."

"Then what do you hope to achieve?"

"Their disinterest." She simply said, no context whatsoever.

"What?" He asked, slightly confused.

She angled her head towards the ground and mumbled an explanation. "There's a security camera up there. They'll be watching as long as they consider me a threat, and it's better if they think you're still out cold. Don't move to the front of the cell."

He grimaced. "I don't like taking orders."

"And I don't like being stuck in cells. Looks like we're on the same page here." She snapped in irritation.

"If you keep turning towards me and talk, won't they notice that something is different?" The sandy-haired human asked tentatively. It wouldn't work out with her plans if they found out about it through the camera feed, after all.

"They won't deem it suspicious if they consider it my habit. Talking to myself and talking to the nearly-corpse on the floor, that's what they've written in their protocols for the past five days… or was it six?"

She shook her head and started mumbling to herself, trying to figure out what day it is, all while there was one question bugging Okita's mind.

"Why do you need them to think that I'm still unconscious?"

"Because I need you. If I want to guarantee my escape, I'll need you along the way."

Okita stilled for a moment. Did that mean..?

"Then I'm not that much of a weakling?" He taunted, a smug smirk on his face.

"No, you're still a weak moron, but you're all I have right now, so I'll have to make do."

He let out another sigh. Women, seriously.

"How long?" He asked her, planning for this to be his last question for now.

"How long what?"

"How long are you going to be nerfed?"

She definitely went stiff at that, and the Shinsengumi Captain grinned. He just found a soft spot to poke at.

"I… I don't know." She finally admitted, a teensy bit of shame in her voice. "I only know that they gave me quite a truckload of it."

"Doesn't that make you nothing more than a weakling yourself?" He sneered, using her words against her.

"I'll make you eat those words once I get out of these." She snapped at him, losing her composure for the first time since he woke up.

Okita couldn't stop himself, it was written in his DNA to make other people unhappy, uncomfortable and suffer. But he did understand that maybe now wasn't the right time or place for that.

With a snap of her head she grew attentive and shhhhd him, signalling him to stay down again. It took him a few seconds to notice the approaching footsteps and he couldn't help but wonder exactly how sharp her intuition had to be.

He closed his eyes, putting on his best fake-sleep performance, trained carefully over the years in an effort to skip out on work.

"My my," he heard Kagura say confidently, "Admiral Asshole and his two best friends, to what do I owe the pleasure of seeing your ugly faces here?"

A grunt. "I hardly see how this is a pleasure for you, but a wild animal like has no real perception of such things anyways." A male voice sneered.

"Oh, don't be like that." Kagura cooed. "I do enjoy the finer things in life. Food, killing people, eating, crushing people, crushing peoples' dreams… You know?"

"Heh." The admiral shook his head haughtily. "You monsters really only need the most mundane of situations to feel alive. You are hardly any more complex than an earthling insect. You live to kill, no more."

"Didn't I just say I love to eat as well? Are you listening to me, Admiral Asshole?" She innocently prodded.

A silence fell over the cell, a silence so great he was sure he could hear Hijikata's screams from Earth.

"THAT'S IT! I LET IT GO THE FIRST TIME, BUT YOU WILL PAY DEARLY FOR CALLING ME THAT!" The sound of the door unlocking accompanied his wrathful shouts, and a few seconds later, a sickening crunch echoed through the cell, along with the sound of a body hitting the ground.

He didn't know what to make out of the situation yet, given the continued silence. Had Kagura taken out the admiral, or the other way around? Where were the admiral's accomplices? Was it alright to open his eyes again?

A sudden sharp pain spread into his ribs after somebody kicked him there full force. It was rough, uncoordinated and brute force. It wasn't Kagura's.

"Looks like the monkey isn't awake yet." A gruff voice said. "I still don't know why we brought him along."

"That's because you think with your muscles, not your brain." A high-strung voice answered. "He knows where the other Yato is, have you already forgotten?"

"No, four-eyes, I haven't. But we could also just look for him instead of waiting for him to wake up." The first voice shot back.

"Don't be a moron. Oh wait, you are, my apologies."

"Fuck you."

"No thanks. Besides, there's a huge flaw in your thought process." There was a dramatic pause, probably to push glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Umibouzo's bound to be roaming Earth now that he knows that we betrayed his daughter. With his son also in hiding, he will definitely come after us sooner or later. And I would rather it be later."

A cough sounded through the room, along with splattering sounds. "My old man won't come for me." Kagura rasped out. "And if he does, it'll be to kill me."

"Now now, we can't have that." The admiral spoke up again, his squeaky shoes making irritating noises while he walked around the cell. "I need everybody to remain alive here. Well, we'll dispose of the human once he's croaked out the information we need, but until then let's treat them like our very best guests."

Another smack, and more of Kagura coughing up blood.

"It's a good thing we took precaution to leave earth." The haughty voice laughed. "My idea, of course."

"Oh shut up, you prick. I'm the one that dragged them here. You couldn't do anything with your lanky body." Gruffy seethed.

"What good is a body like yours if you have no brain? Leave the thinking to the thinkers and go back to work, worker."

"If you're done flirting, can you please go get a room? I feel like throwing up." The only female in the room interjected with an even tone, even if it sounded kind of strained in Okita's ears.

"You bitch!"

"What did you say, brat?"

"No, don't." The admiral stopped them. "We need those bruises to heal by the time the buyers come. You can take it out on her once they leave."

"Oh, so I'm not joining the housewife collection then?" She snidely asked, and once again the police officer couldn't help but note that something was off with the way she spoke.

"Hmpf, as if a monster like you could ever please a man. But some people out there have some weird fetishes, so we don't ask questions as long as they pay up."

"What a wonderful way to treat one of your subordinates. The working conditions in the Harusame are superb." She chuckled lightly. "Is it because I ate all the rice? Or because your wife left you in favour of this ship's captain? Or perhaps,… because of what happened on Earth?"

"Here, hold this." The admiral's voice turned cold. "You're running my patience thin, Kagura. This didn't need to happen you know. If you would have simply followed your orders, this wouldn't have happened."

"Oh please, this would have happened sooner or later. After all, you're just scared of me."

The unmistakable sound of a punch filled the room, followed by another and another. Okita felt something urge him to stop the admiral, but the pain in his ribcage was still killing him.

"Oh, did a fly just land on me?" Kagura chuckled between coughs.

"You wish!" The admiral screeched at this point.

"Hahahahaha!" Her obnoxious laughter rang out.

"STOP SMILING, YOU FUCKING BITCH! STOP LAUGHING!" The admiral screamed in frustration, always accompanied by the monotonous thuds of his fist meeting her face.

But her laughter rang on.

* * *

The two other ended up dragging the furious admiral out of the cell at some point, and after ensuring that they were gone, Okita slowly opened his eyes.

Kagura was slowly pulling herself off the ground, her matted hair looking even redder. She shuffled closer to the gate and leaned her face against it, finally pushing her face into the metal, relocating her jaw with an unsettling click.

_That must have been what was obscuring her speech the whole time._

"How are you feeling?" He asked her after she had finished setting her joints back in place.

"Been better." She mumbled, turning towards him for the first time since their three captors left. Red streaks had already dried around her mouth and temple, a few glistening drops under her nose holes.

"They said that I know something." He started, ignoring the fact that she was basically covered in her own blood. Pity was the last thing she needed right now. Besides, she would heal soon enough anyway.

"Yes, you should. But given your amnesia, I'm not sure whether that's a good or bad thing for you." She answered with a thoughtful look. Then she trained her eyes on him. "How are you feeling?"

"Definitely better than you." He nearly scoffed in reply.

"I wouldn't know, it's not every day a human gets kicked by a geared up Dakini."

"A Dakini, huh? Never really had much to do with those." He shook his head.

"But I'm serious," she reiterated, "Will you be okay?"

"Who knows," he sighed, then grimaced at the movement in his lungs. "I'll just have to deal with a broken rib or two. Or three."

"I highly doubt you'll last long, but they'll probably treat you if you don't wake up in time. Otherwise they'll just use it as the starting point for your torture." She explained.

"Gee, what comforting words." Okita remarked sarcastically.

"We don't have the luxury of comfort, so we need to deal with the truth. The first problem being that I just got another shot of tranquilizer. The second being that they gave me something else, additionally. The third being that you won't be able to conceal your consciousness much longer."

"I don't think I'll have problems pretending to sleep." Okita interjected with a frown.

"Your body functions will be kicking in soon enough. They'll realize if you drank any water or ate any of the food." She elaborated with an eye-roll.

"Like I said, that won't be a problem." He eyed the food on the ground. "As an officer of the Shinsengumi, I have found myself in the dilemma of eating nothing but mayonnaise or eating nothing multiple times. You could say that I'm a pro at starving myself."

"I'm not sure that's something to be proud of." Kagura commented.


	10. Butter Knives Are Sharper Than You Think

Kagura felt the tranquilizer kick in much harder than she would have wanted to. With an involuntary grunt she fell slightly forward, wishing she could catch herself but found herself struggling against the heavy fabric of the straightjacket.

She fought to stay conscious, since she still didn't know the effects of the second substance they gave her, and if the Shinsengumi guy were to be discovered while she's out cold, both of their chances of escaping will lower significantly.

Going by what Admiral Asshole told her just now, they weren't anywhere near Earth, and with the events that transpired before their abduction, there was no way Abuto could track her down, especially since she didn't have her umbrella on her, where her second-in-command hid a tracker (Yes, she was fully aware of it). But that was a necessary sacrifice. She could only hope that Abuto got her signal before they got separated.

But for her, things weren't looking good.

"To be honest, I'm more worried about you." The blonde captain spoke, with a hint of what seemed like genuine concern. But that was too unlike him.

"Heh, you should know enough about Yato from hanging around with my weakling brother. These wounds will heal in no time." She chided him confidently, a ghost of a smirk on her face.

But he just shook his head. "That's not what I meant. They mentioned something about buyers."

Kagura gnawed on her bottom lip. They did, indeed. And she also knew exactly what that meant. "I'm sure nobody would want a rowdy brat like me. Don't worry, I won't leave you all alone." She teased him, covering up her actual bad feeling about this situation. It bothered her, to be honest, but there was nothing she was currently capable of.

He took his eyes away from her face, and looked at the blood on the concrete floor instead. Her blood. "Don't forget that they gave you something else as well. If they can subdue your strength, I'm sure they can subdue your free will." His voice held a painful honesty, probably because he was at a bigger disadvantage without her.

"That may be." She admitted against her better judgement. "But it's already in my bloodstream, so I can't stop it anymore."

"They only administered it a few minutes ago." He said pensively. Then he looked back up at her. "Where did they inject it?"

She sighed. "I don't know how this'll help you, but my neck." She angled her head, revealing the curve of her neck to him. There sat multiple small puncture holes, the sizes of needles.

Without an explanation of what he was doing, he shuffled closer to her, clearly in pain as he winced multiple times.

"What are you doing?" She asked him with a quizzical expression, but her eyelids started falling down. Man, she was getting tired…

"I'm going to suck it out." He said calmly, avoiding her gaze.

"What?!" She jolted awake, taken back by his statement.

"It's obviously not completely in your bloodstream yet, since the tranquilizer already hit you, but we haven't seen any effects from this second drug yet. There's a chance that it needs longer to travel. Picture it as poison. It's no different from when a snake bites you. You suck out the poison. Plain and simple." He explained, eyes fixated on her pale skin.

* * *

What the hell was he saying?! What the hell was he  _thinking_?! Nothing in this situation was plain and simple!

If this didn't work out, all he was doing would have been giving a roofied girl a hickey! And as bad as his reputation as a police officer already was, he really didn't want to have to explain to Umibouzo exactly how something like this had happened.

The Yato looked at him with unsure, blue eyes, and he did his best to concentrate on her neck, on the puncture wounds, because god, the aftermath of this was going to be so awkward.

And then she angled her head away, far enough for him to easily access the hole-infested area. "Do it." She said with conviction, but also drowsiness. "And if you get some of this bloody tranquilizer out as well, it'll just be a bonus."

He nodded, and he shuffled closer to her, thankful that he wasn't bound by a straightjacket and only by a pair of measly chains around his wrists. Ignoring the pain in his lungs and his chest, he steadied the Yato in his arms and immediately got to work, clamping his mouth over the area with the needle marks.

Not a moment too soon, it seemed, as her body slumped against his, signalling that she had fallen prey to the tranquilizer.

That would at least spare one awkward moment.

He began sucking, the distinct taste of something that wasn't blood immediately hitting his tongue. He spat it out in an instant, noting its unpleasant taste, but continuing anyway.

He couldn't believe he was helping his enemy in such a manner, but if he wanted any chances at getting out of here alive, having a ready to go Yato would be a major advantage. They were both planning to use each other to leave this forsaken cell.

That's what he kept telling himself to keep his mind off the actual situation. He glanced at her red strands of hair on multiple occasions in order to remind himself that this wasn't some girl in Yoshiwara.

This was a female Yato capable of ripping off his head, and god forbid she find out that his current thoughts involving her, chains and him sucking at the skin of her neck were anything but decent.

If this didn't work out, he was going to commit seppuku out of his own free will.

* * *

He coughed as he tasted blood only, and desperately hoped that he had gotten most of the substance out. She was still out cold, but her bruises had already began discolouring, returning to her usual pale skin tone. All open wounds were already closed up as well.

He grimaced. They were right, she would be all healed up and pretty by the time the buyers came.

He gently set her down, pushing the matted strands of hair out of her face. This situation seemed too familiar, his sick sister lying on a futon with a raging fever, hair glued to her forehead.

He shook his head. This wasn't Mitsuba. She was dead.

He averted his eyes from the spot on her neck, there was no need to remember what just happened. Her breaths were short and even, a bit too fast-faced for it to be considered normal, but good enough for now.

Her blood stained his hands, probably due to the mixture of sweat and dry blood. He wiped it off on his jacket and sighed. What on earth had he gotten himself into?

He seriously hoped that her healing powers would get rid of the bruise on her neck before she woke up. God, this was going to be awkward. He couldn't even take a cold shower anywhere.

* * *

_A few days earlier…_

Kamui didn't really know how to feel about following Abuto around without a second thought, but he seemed to be the one who was most likely to find a good solution for their current problem that didn't involve blowing up something or murdering somebody. He could see why he was assigned to babysit Kagura.

In front of them, Hijikata muttered out a few curses because he had hit his head on the ceiling again, which caused Gintoki, Katsura and Takasugi to bump into each other, sparking another argument.

Shinpachi sighed. They weren't going to even leave the secret tunnel if they kept bickering like little children half of the time.

An unconscious Kondo was being dragged behind the Vice-Chief like a rag doll, suffering from the uneven floor of the compact tunnel.

"I didn't even know we had passages like these under Edo…" The bespectacled boy mumbled to himself.

"That's because bastards like you aren't supposed to know about them." Hijikata grumbled angrily. Not being able to smoke underground was really getting to him. He needed nicotine, and fast.

"Ugh, I really need some daylight right now." Katsura sighed in a dramatic manner. "And some fresh air away from these two would also be nice."

"We don't negotiate with terrorists. You have the right to remain silent." The Vice-Chief growled at the long-haired samurai.

"Hmpf. I won't accept that as an answer from somebody who claims to protect the citizens of Edo, but left behind Leader without a second thought." Katsura pouted, crossing his arms and looking to the side, which caused him to trip on some rubble.

Hijikata groaned in frustration. "I'd like to think that a Harusame captain can take care of herself. Besides, I left Sougo with her."

"Mr. Katsura, please don't underestimate the Commander. She's very capable of taking care of herself, may it be at the expense of everybody and everything around her. Including my sanity." Grumbling the last part to himself, Abuto attempted to calm the Joi leader down, but with little effect.

"If somebody like the sadist had to protect Kagura, I'm pretty sure that she'll be willing to dig her own grave and bury herself in shame. I don't think her ego could handle that…" Kamui added.

He stared at the objects in his hands, more accurately the two nearly identical umbrellas. Well, at least they were at some point. One was used and stained, the other drenched in blood and charred beyond recognition.

His sister had given him the remains of her parasol with a meaningful look right before the explosion, but he couldn't quite grasp what significance it held. He considered asking her second-in-command, but the blond Yato was busy making sure nobody killed each other.

Two wanted terrorists, one space pirate and two high-ranking police officials in one tiny tunnel. And then there was Gin, Shinpachi and him.

Maybe it should be three wanted terrorists? Well, Gin would have no qualms going up against Hijikata, were it not for the fact that he was the only one who actually knew his way around this tunnel maze.

"So exactly how much longer do you plan on leading us around down here? I'm pretty sure I saw that obscenely shaped rock yesterday…" Takasugi pointed towards a shape in the wall, raising his voice for the first time in a while.

"Now that you mention it, it really does look like a –" Gintoki was cut off by a sharp slap to the back of his head, courtesy of Shinpachi.

"You can't going around saying stuff like that!" He was blushing heavily, having realized what the others meant with obscene.

Gintoki grumbled and pouted, rubbing the spot the glasses stand had just hit. Then he looked towards Hijikata.

"Well, on a side note, why are we walking in circles? I know Takasugi wouldn't mistake something like this. So, Mayora? Did you get us lost?"

"Oi, I heard that!"

Ignoring Takasugi's protest, Gintoki stared Hijikata down, as fear began creeping up inside of him. What if they were really lost? Did that mean he'd have to spend the rest of eternity in a small cave with Zura, Takasugi and the rest of these idiots? Not to mention the fact that Kamui  _will_  resort to cannibalism if he gets too hungry…

He gulped, but maintained his brave face.

No more Ketsuno Ana, no more parfaits, no more candy… What would life be?!

"Hm, those?" Hijikata glanced at the rock with disinterest. "Kondo put them there as route markers. Nobody really had any reason to object, so…"

"No reason to object?! Any sane woman would object!" Shinpachi interrupted, blush still evident on his cheeks.

"This wasn't meant for public use, the only woman who would be coming through here is the current princess, and she's developed a… rather peculiar side lately, so she should hardly count as sane…"

"You earthlings really are a strange species. What's wrong with that rock?" Abuto brought his hand up to his chin and studied the stone wall.

"You see, it's considered indecent because it resembles-" Kamui attempted to explain the situation to his fellow Yato.

"DON'T SAY IT!" Shinpachi's roar echoed through the tunnels.

* * *

_The day before that…_

Kamui used this short break to catch his breath. He saw his sister disappear behind the block of concrete a few metres away, so he concluded that they were basically having a Mexican Standoff right now. One he had the advantage over.

While her umbrella seemed to have magically reappeared, it didn't change the fact that it took a point-blank explosion from a bomb earlier on and it also held up against a rocket launcher… His umbrella, on the other hand, only had a few blood stains and reeked of the curry Gin had spilled over it some time ago.

He forcefully slowed down his breathing, paying close attention to the block his opponent was hiding behind. Attempting to sense her presence, he gripped his parasol tighter, just in time to turn around in his crouch and block Kagura's sneak attack.

He had no idea how she managed to circle him, but he didn't have time to think about that right now since he was still struggling against her.

Noting the twitch in her leg, he released his block and jumped up, avoiding the kick she landed on the wall where his head was a few seconds ago.

"At least your reflexes are not too shabby." She belittled him with her eerie smile. "But you should really pay more attention to your surroundings."

With that said, she gripped his shoulder and flung him to the side, her eyes trained on something that was behind him. No, someone.

Kamui's eyes widened once he realized that he really hadn't noticed the huge Amanto that appeared out of nowhere, wielding a gigantic axe that could slice him up like sashimi.

The scene looked too dramatic, clouds of dust surrounding him, partially shrouding his figure, leaving only his huge silhouette to intimidate his foes.

"Lookie look what the cat dragged in." Kagura sneered at the figure. "An obedient little dog on his leash. Will you turn around three times and bark for me?"

"I've always thought you were an intolerable bitch." The figure growled in response. "Now I finally have an excuse to take it out on you."

"Hah! You? Take me on?" She let out a shrill laugh. "This ain't your dream world, little boy, this is cold harsh reality."

"We'll see about that." He didn't wait for her response, immediately slashing his gigantic axe at her.

The fight, however, didn't last long since Kagura only needed a split-second to grab his axe and cut him in half.

Blood splattered all over her and Kamui as the enemy fell to the ground.

"Friends of yours?" Kamui gulped out nervously.

"Nah, I like to call them practice dummies."

Xxx

Kondo, Katsura, Takasugi and Gintoki stood with their backs to each other, surrounded by a horde of Amanto that appeared out of nowhere.

"Looks like we'll be teaming up again." Katsura said earnestly. "The White Yasha, the Runaway Noble, the Leader of the Kiheitai and one obnoxious loudmouth. Ah, this feels nostalgic."

"Wait, there's something wrong here." Kondo frowned.

* * *

Tatsuma Sakamoto sneezed loudly, then cleaned his nose dejectedly. His headache was killing him and he was hungover as fuck.

He felt a dark presence next to him, turning his head to find a certain Yato standing there ready to kill him.

"H-Hey Mutsu… Hehehehehe…" He greeted her carefully.

The rest of the Kaientai fleet only heard loud screams of pain before the deadly silence. They all sighed at their captain's antics and went back to work.

* * *

_Present…_

Okita's mind felt bleary, and he was having an odd sense of déjà vu. At least the pain in his ribcage wasn't killing him anymore.

Lightheaded, he groaned as he pushed himself up. The stone floor of the cell was still going to cause him back pains after they get out.

Gently rolling his shoulders and cracking his neck, he got his muscles to wake up. The cell was still dimly-lit, but that wasn't what bothered him.

The lack of a certain redhead made him furrow his brows in confusion.

Where was she? How long had he been out?

He looked down at his clothes, only to see that he was wearing a fresh shirt. Underneath he could feel bandages against his skin, covering his torso. That would explain why he wasn't feeling the pain anymore.

China had mentioned that they would patch him up if he didn't wake up in time, so he guessed it must have come this far.

But it still made him wonder, what did he possibly know that made him that valuable to the Harusame?

"Hey, you awake?" A gruff voice called out to him.

He squinted in the dark room, and could make out two silhouettes outside of his cage.

"Yeah?" He responded in his usual deadpan voice. Hiding was of no use since he didn't know where his temporary partner-in-crime went, so this was pretty much his only option right now.

"Heh, perfect. Maybe you can get that bitch to talk." The bigger guy of the two said while unlocking the door. Then he was roughly pulled up be the collar of his new shirt and brought eye-to-eye with the giant Amanto.

Now that he was close enough, he could make out the tell-tale horns of the Dakini tribe.

"Consider it the payment for patching you up." He rumbled on in his rough voice.

"If you hadn't kicked him, we might've been done here earlier." The second guy, a bespectacled Shinra, said.

"Shut up." The Dakini growled.

Okita recognized their voices as the ones who accompanied the admiral that other time. A smirk ghosted on his face.

"Are you done flirting yet?" He asked mischievously, taking pleasure in the Dakini's angry facial expression.

After being unceremoniously dumped on the ground by a super-human Amanto (but he was kind of used to it already) he was dragged out by the chain on his shackles. Halfway through he was pretty sure his shoulder was going to dislocate.

Once they finished dragging up a flight of stairs, his eyes began burning as his pupils were overloaded with light. The bright hallway made it difficult to see after so many days in the darkness, but eventually his eyes adjusted themselves and he could make out the lavishly decorated walls. Red and gold, they screamed 'Look at me, I'm important.'

Thought to be impossible, he was thrown into an even brighter room and was temporarily blinded by the ridiculous amount of crystal chandeliers and golden trinkets, reflecting the light thousandfold.

"Ah, the ape is finally awake?" A smug voice spoke in the room.

Blinking rapidly, his gaze fell on the short, pudgy man with a receding hairline. Next to him sat another blue-skinned Amanto, both of them haughtily sipping wine. On the other side of the table sat… well, sat China, but she was just staring into the distance a dazed look on her face.

He needed a second to recognize her, since they had changed her into a hanfu dress and made her hair up, putting in multiple ornaments as well. If not for her vibrant hair, he probably would have dismissed her as somebody else.

What on earth happened to her?

The pudgy man at the head of the table looked pleased. "Ah, you can get that expression of your face, ape." He sniggered.

Okita pressed his teeth together and put on his best uncaring face after taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry," he said in an even voice, "I was just surprised that she actually looks like a normal person for once."

"Hahahaha, you have a point there!" The pudgy man laughed. "But I don't want to be rude, have a seat, ape."

The Dakini roughly pushed him forward, and with reluctance he settled in one of the chairs closest to him, his chains rattling with each movement.

"I am Admiral Abou." The pudgy man said pridefully. "Not that I care for yours."

"I was under the impression that your name was 'Asshole'." Okita commented nonchalant.

The admiral immediately froze up and narrowed his eyes at him. "Whom did you hear that from?" He hissed angrily.

Okita grinned and lifted his hands, the chains and shackles emphasizing the movement. "Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum over here." He pointed towards the Dakini and Shinra that had accompanied him. "They spoke  _veeery_  passionately about it."

"Insolent earthling!" The Shinra shrieked. "How dare you put words in my mouth!"

"You fucking bastard!" The Dakini growled. "Have you resorted to telling lies?!"

The admiral, clearly not trusting his subordinates, made an attempt to get out of the situation on the high end.

"You think you can fool me like that, human?!" He proclaimed with false bravado. "Have you no honour left?!"

"You're a pirate." Okita deadpanned " You shouldn't be talking to me about honour unless your name is T-Bone."

The blue-skinned Amanto frowned. "But T-Bone isn't even a pi-"

The admiral, however had lost his patience and fully ignored the man next to him. "Enough!" He roared.

The doors opened and a long line of maids entered, putting multiple dishes on the table and setting up cutlery for the four of them.

One of them set a glass of water on front of him, then they all left in an orderly line.

The admiral had taken the moment to calm himself down. "You're right, ape." He muttered. "This is no place to speak of honour."

"It took you this long to realize that?" Okita prodded innocently.

A fist came down next to him, smashing into the probably pristine table and leaving an ugly crack behind.

"Say one more stupid thing to Admiral As-Abou, and I will personally kill you, regardless of the information you may have." The Dakini threatened.

Well, it would have sounded threatening if Okita hadn't been Okita, but he was used to much worse. For example nicotine-deprived Hijikata and starving Kamui.

Compared to those, the Dakini sounded like a puppy barking.

"Aaaaaaah, you almost called him 'Asshole' there!" Okita pointed out childishly, a sadistic grin hidden under the innocent façade.

"You think you can keep that lie going?!" The Dakini roared, obviously flustered.

The admiral was having none of it. "Both of you, get out of here!" He shouted at his subordinates.

The blue-skinned Amanto merely sighed and took another sip of wine.

Okita carefully glanced over at China, her silence and lack of reaction nagging at his mind.

But not carefully enough, it seemed.

"I always thought Kagura had some sort of accomplice on earth. She started behaving differently after her trip there a few months ago. Never thought she'd team up with a government official, though." He spat out venomously. "But that's not the problem now," He smirked, placing his hand on Kagura's chin and tilting her face towards him. "Isn't that right, Kagura?"

Her docile form and lifeless eyes creeped Okita out slightly, and he did not want to know what else they pumped into her system.

"Hmm, I thought you'd be more reactive if we showed her to you like this, but that doesn't seem to be the case." The pudgy man sighed before picking up one of the cutlery pieces on the table.

"We thought this drug would subdue her Yato instinct enough to make her pass for a normal person, but we can't present her to the buyers in a catatonic state." He shook his head in mock-sadness.

Okiat frowned internally. That didn't add up. After all he did, there shouldn't have been anything left, and it didn't sound like they gave her more of it…

"Oh well," The admiral continued, "I guess we have no choice but to turn to you for information. She wouldn't tell us its location no matter what we tried. So, human, if you want to live, tell us where it is."

"It?" The sandy-haired captain asked in genuine confusion.

"The artefact Kagura took without permission. Where is it?" He took Kagura's head into one hand, pulled her over the table and pressed the blade of the steak knife against her throat.

"I… don't know." He blinked as he answered in full honesty. This was the first he was hearing about this.

"Liar. You were her contact on earth, and organized the exchange with her brother. Since neither of you two have it, I can safely assume her brother does, but she's not telling me where the tunnel led to. You're the one who sealed the entrance, so clearly you know where it leads to." The admiral explained as if it was the most obvious plan ever, and he was the genius who figured it out, but even with all the gears in Okita's mind turning, none of the puzzle pieces fit.

"What?" He asked dumbly.

"Don't play ignorant, monkey." The admiral seethed. "It's too late for that now. Maybe you should have done that before Kagura broke the rules!"

Okita caught the bloodlust sweeping through the room a few seconds earlier than everybody else, making a chill run down his spine. He dared make eye-contact with the only viable source in the room,  _her_ , and the dull blue from a few moments ago was replaced with vibrant azure, leaking the intention to kill.

The admiral cried out in agonizing pain as a blunt butter knife pierced through his flesh, pinning his hand down to the table, making him drop the blade held against her throat. Then her sugar-sweet voice filled the silence.

"What kind of space pirate would I be if I actually listened to the rules?"


	11. Linear Continuity Is Overrated

_A few weeks ago…_ **(AN: Between Chapter One and Chapter Two)**

The black-haired girl panted heavily once she exited the musky tunnels that had surrounded her for the past few hours.

The green trees and shrubbery surrounding her was wild, untamed and untouched. Nature at its finest.

She felt a grin etch itself onto her face, daring to glance up at the towering castle far above her. She was finally free. Free of the walls and free of the sweet, sugar-coated lies she was presented with every day.

She straightened her simple green kimono and carefully pushed through the shrubbery, looking for a way into the city. She flinched quite often, not expecting a branch to snag at her clothes and scratch the surface of her soft, unmarred porcelain skin.

And while it hurt, it was oddly exiting.

She was never allowed to do things like this back at the castle.

The blood that exited her small scratches fascinated her, as did the short stings of pain. She had barely made it through the twisted tunnels under the castle, and now she had seen all sorts of vegetation before stumbling into a more populated area of Edo.

All the new experiences were overwhelming and she couldn't help but take it all in with awe. It was magnificent, past all her imaginations and so different from everything she had ever dreamt up, but it immediately felt real.

The pedestrians'' chatter filled the air like soft background music and her nose picked up the many different scents of the street. Most were pleasant, such as wafting smell from one of the many food stands, but the alleys really really stunk.

Her stomach growled slightly, but she didn't have time to scavenge the castle for small coins, and she was aware that paying in jewels would attract too much attention. Dejectedly, she sighed and turned around another corner, only to be yanked into the adjacent alley by a pair of strong hands.

She instinctively tried screaming, but the foreign hands clasped firmly over her frame and her mouth, not letting a single tone escape.

Her thoughts ran wild, panicking and guilt seeping into her mind. Did this person know her true identity? Would she cause trouble for her hard-working older brother? Would she die? Would something bad happen because of her selfish curiosity?

She squeezed her eyelids shut and squirmed and struggled, trying to break free from her captor's hold, but to no avail. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes as she realized that there was no way she would be getting out of here.

However, once she stopped struggling, she realized that her assailant was panting heavily and shivering. No, not shivering, it was rather warm out here.

He was shaking.

"D-Don't come any closer! I'll kill this innocent girl if you do!" A male voice stuttered, his voice echoing in the empty alleyway. "I swear to God I will kill her!"

"Oh really? I'm pretty sure we both know you're too much of a coward to do that!" A condescending female voice answered calmly, with a hint of smugness. Strangely enough, the female's voice reassured the girl, and she bravely peeked through her eyelids.

After the short while it took for her eyes to adjust to the darkness, she could make out the silhouette of a young woman, roughly her age or a tad older.

"I'll do it! I'll really do it!" The man stuttered, gently taking a few steps backwards.

"No, no you won't." The female said in a demeaning tone.

She heard the man's breath hitch, followed by the clatter of a metallic object and the sound of liquid dripping to the ground.

His grip on her loosened and his body fell backwards with a heavy thud.

Carefully, she glanced to the side, only to see the other girl kneeling next to the motionless body, wiping her hands on a thick cloth.

The other girl, whose bright blue eyes shone in the small streak of light that fell into the alley, looked up at her.

"You should run back home, little girl." She said.

Soyo eyed the red liquid pooling around the man on the floor. She was used to watching executions, but this spontaneous kill lacked the dignity the court executioners held, yet it still had an eerie elegance of its own.

But the other girl didn't seem to be a threat to her.

The black-haired girl gulped. She didn't want to go back home yet. Her one day wasn't over yet.

"Will you be my friend?" She blurted out instead.

* * *

Kagura dismissed the black-haired girl, but her response caught her slightly off-guard.

"What? Your friend?" The Yato asked in confusion.

The girl noticeably blushed and nodded. "Please, be my friend for the day!"

Kagura blinked at the strange girl, unsure of what to do next. In all honesty, she's never even had a female friend, yet alone her age. She was used to people being afraid of her and running off once they looked past her pretty face and noticed the darkness that lurked behind it.

Yet, this girl just saw her kill a grown man twice her size and was asking to be her friend.

"Why?" She inquired, still overtasked with the situation.

"Because you're strong, and because you saved me." The girl bowed her head slightly. "I know it's selfish to ask this of you, but I only have this one day. You don't have to be my friend after that anymore, and I can compensate you, but please be my friend for today."

Kagura thought back to the order of events, reminding herself that saving the girl hadn't even been part of her plan. She was enjoying earthling dumplings at a food stand when some idiots decided to rob said stand. She hunted the perpetrators down for ruining her eating experience, especially since the woman at the stand had been so kind to her.

But a small part of her mind nudged her, wondering what having an actual friend actually felt like. And getting compensated didn't sound too bad either. This girl spoke more sophisticatedly than the people on the streets, so she probably had something to offer.

As for why she was wandering around alone and why she was wearing servant's clothes, Kagura decided not to ask, her professionalism as a sort-of-mercenary surfacing.

"Alright." She finally answered, not entirely aware of what she was doing.

The girl sighed in relief, giving the redhead a stunning smile in response. "I'm glad! I'm really glad!"

Kagura felt herself returning the smile slightly, after all, when was the last time she had made somebody else smile?

* * *

"My name is Soyo." She introduced herself to the other girl, holding out her hand to her.

The other girl finished wiping her hands clean before shaking her hand. "Kagura."

"It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise."

Neither girl chose to ask why the other was an obvious oddity, and with mutual silence they exited the alleyway, carefully stepping over the corpse.

* * *

"So, friend of the day, what do you want to do?" Kagura asked Soyo, glancing at their surroundings. They had somehow wandered into the Kabuki area of Edo.

"I want to have fun and make memories!" The black-haired girl exclaimed energetically. "But I don't have any cash on me." She sighed in addition.

Kagura smirked at her. "That won't be a problem."

"Huh?"

Kagura gave her a mysterious smile and led her to a place she had become familiar with while investigating the… former… Captain of the Fourth Division.

Once she entered the murky place, a large amount of eyes turned towards her and her companion, all belonging to burly, intimidating-looking men.

One let out an irritated gruff, then all went back to their previous occupation.

"Odds or evens?" A rough voice asked, followed by shouts as desperate and drunk men placed their bets.

"Evens!" Kagura declared loudly, dropping a heavy bag of coins in the middle of the betting area.

The man holding the cup glanced at the bag of coins and smirked, flamboyantly taking the cup away, only to find two identical dice faces staring back at him.

Soyo's eyes shined in awe and excitement as the man begrudgingly pushed their prize money towards them.

"It's your turn now." Kagura glanced at her with a small grin.

Soyo nodded excitedly and took the brown bag the redhead held out to her, giving the man juggling the dices a mischievous smile. "Odds!"

The man scowled at the two girls and placed the two dices back in the cup, flipped it and shook it with expertise. Lifting the cup once more, he sighed as the girl's prediction had come true.

Soyo squealed in delight as they accumulated more money and she caught the grin her friend flashed her.

The man glowered at the dices. Looks like he ran out of luck.

* * *

Much to her confusion, the black-haired girl infected Kagura with her energy and rich laughter. The Yato knew a bit about the area from her investigations, so she pointed out some small food stands she was familiar with and the two girls would occasionally check out places unknown to both of them.

Soyo was a strange girl, who hardly knew anything about the humans' daily lives, but it somehow made discovering new things together… fun.

She was bright, brimming with happiness and light, much in contrast to Kagura's dark lifestyle and past. She was like a virus, but Kagura didn't mind. Because she had found herself enjoying something that wasn't killing.

* * *

"You're an Amanto?!" Soyo asked the redhead in surprise. "But you're much prettier than what I've heard about them in stories!"

Kagura chuckled in self-confidence. "There are many different races out there, but my mother was a beautiful woman, it's only natural that I would take after her. She was like a queen."

Kagura blissfully smiled at the memory of her mother, one of the kindest and greatest women she knew. Involuntarily, her thoughts travelled to her other two family members and her pretty much non-existent relationship with them. Her smile dropped as soon as it came.

"Ooh, so you're like a princess?" Soyo continued in excitement.

Kagura pondered that question, poking around her food absent-mindedly. In a way, she was a princess of the Yato clan.

Her bastard of a father was considered the strongest Yato out there, and she was the apprentice of the great King of the Night (even if he was no more).

"Theoretically… yes." She answered hesitantly, unsure of what she should think about that title. Her aspiration was to become the pirate king and find the One Pie- wait, no, that's the wrong manga. Her aspiration was to become the pirate queen and rule over the Harusame, and put her stupid father in his place for letting their mother die.

Soyo gave her a brimming smile and clasped her hands after taking her food out of her hands. "It is as fate brought us together!" Soyo whispered happily.

"It is?"

"Yes! I'll tell you a secret." Soyo giggled, looking at straight into Kagura's eyes. "I'm a princess too!"

"What?!" The Yato asked in shock.

Soyo nodded. "I live in the castle over there." She pointed at the easily largest building in all of Edo, towering over the city.

Kagura didn't know much about the earthling government, but she knew that Hosen had a tight grip on some of them, which is why they turned a blind eye to his selfish actions in Yoshiwara.

She sighed at the memory of what her shining mentor had become, an old geezer who was vying for the affection of a woman he could never have.

"So you see, it must've been fate." Soyo continued contently. "Two princesses meeting, two princesses from kingdoms far across the galaxy, it almost sounds like a cheesy love story." She crooned, jokingly putting her hands on her cheeks and blushing.

Kagura laughed at the display, shaking her head at the image conjured in her mind. It was also a new experience, laughing about something  _with_  somebody, and not  _at_  their misery.

She brushed a tear out of the corner of her mind, letting Soyo bring just a bit more light into her life.

She suddenly jerked her head to the side, where she could make out frantic men in uniforms in the distance, piecing together the information in her mind.

"Oh Soyo, you naughty girl." She chuckled, taking the other girl's hand. "You ran away from the castle didn't you?"

Soyo followed her gaze and sighed. "Looks like they already sent the Shinsengumi after me, huh? Well, I guess it's time for me to go back."

"Mmmh, no." Kagura smirked. "I'm your friend for the day, remember? And the day is still very young."

Soyo yelped as Kagura yanked her arm as they ran in the opposite direction of the uniform-clad men, laughing as they entered the busy streets of Edo, far from their searching eyes.

The Yato led her to a shop she had begun to frequent quite often since her arrival on earth, and proceeded to introduce her new-found friend to her newest favourite food, pickled seaweed.

"Ooh, it's so sour! But it's so good at the same time!" Soyo gushed at it with sparkling eyes, immediately making a mental note to have it constantly supplied to the castle.

Kagura couldn't help but laugh again as they continued throughout the day, so much that her cheeks hurt. It's been a long time since she's had fun with somebody. It's been a long time since she laughed this much. It's been a long time since she's felt happiness. It's been a long time since she felt like a normal, teenaged girl.

* * *

They resorted to leaving small traps and pranks for the police officers that were looking for Soyo, and they giggled together every time somebody fell for them.

Soyo found herself enjoying their misfortune a lot more than she would ever admit, but their common appreciation of seeing others struggle only tightened the bond between her and Kagura.

The sun began setting way too soon, and the two of them waited for the Shinsengumi members on one of the rooftops, watching the sky turn into various hues of red and purple.

"I have one last selfish request." Soyo said.

"Yes?"

"I want you to be my friend forever."

Kagura glanced over at her with a genuine smile. "Do you even need to ask?"

* * *

**(After Chapter Two)**

Takasugi leaned against the open screen door, watching as the messenger pigeon dropped a small scroll into the red-haired Yato's palm.

"I didn't think somebody like you would have an informant here on earth, but then again, what do I know about the Harusame?" He spoke evenly before taking a puff of his pipe.

"Not everything I do needs to be in relation to the Harusame." Kagura replied mysteriously.

"The likelihood of you having friends on earth would appear even lower." The Kiheitai leader replied condescendingly.

"You know nothing, Shinsuke Takasugi, you know nothing." She replied smugly, scribbling something on a new scroll and sending the pigeon off again.

"I do know that that was an imperial pigeon." He remarked calmly.

"So what if it was?"

"It would imply you are in cahoots with the enemy." He answered, voice laced slightly with suspicion.

"You don't need to worry." She chuckled. "This won't have an impact on the plan."

"How can I be sure about that?"

"If it would, you would be dead already." She replied cheerfully with a smile.

* * *

_A few days ago…_

Kamui lost sight of his sister some when along the way as they were overrun by Amanto. He could hear the agonized cries in the distance, but they came from all directions, which led him to assume that the others had interrupted their own battles in order to take out the new arrivals. He pushed through the enemies, staying on the look-out for a head of brilliant vermillion, but with everything covered in blood she was difficult to spot.

A distinct cry of 'Leader!' made him head towards the source, most definitely Zura, and there he was reunited with pretty much everybody else. Mayora and the Sadist were there, fully equipped with bazookas and ammo.

"There is a tunnel leading out of here, we're near the entrance!" The Demon Vice-Chief yelled over the noise as he fended off some Amanto.

The three former Joi patriots stood together with Kondo, clothes and blades covered in blood. Abuto and Shinpachi were also there, the glasses stand looking worse for the wear and visibly exhausted from his straight man duties.

They all signalled a silent truce, agreeing to follow the walking smoke factory.

Even Madao had joined them, covered in carton armour.

They pushed through together, finally reaching a small trapdoor after tricking the Amanto into going the other way.

"We don't have much time, we'll have to hurry." Hijikata ordered them gruffly, smoking his last cigarette before entering the tunnel.

"You won't have to tell me twice!" Shinpachi exclaimed, clambering down the ladder into the tunnel, getting away from the bunch of idiots, not realizing that he was condemning himself to confinement with them for the next two days.

"Wait!" Katsura shouted. "Leader isn't here!"

Kamui frantically looked around, realizing that indeed, his sister wasn't there. A flash of panic washed over him, wondering if he had failed her once again, but, as if on cue, Kagura appeared out of the smoke and rubble, whispering something to her second-in-command before throwing her umbrella towards him. He caught it thanks to his reflexes, but he didn't know what to do with it, even if it seemed as if she had mouthed 'Take care of it.'

Then she disappeared again.

"She said we should go on without her." Abuto relayed to the rest of the group.

Takasugi nodded silently, then climbed down the ladder, followed by an obviously upset Katsura. Kondo followed as well, but missed the footing of the ladder and landed on the ground with a thud, rendered unconscious.

"I don't trust her." Okita said, shouldering a rocket launcher before heading out after her. The scene of her questioning the Shinsengumi's affiliations replayed in his head, and he wouldn't leave without answers. If there was a threat to Kondo somewhere out there… He will eliminate it.

"Sougo, you've got to be kidding me!" Hijikata growled at his subordinate, but the sandy-haired man resolutely began striding after the female Amanto.

"Go on ahead, I'll destroy the entrance once all of you are inside." He turned back to Hijikata with an evil smirk. "If you don't hurry, I might just kill you as well."

The Demon Vice-Chief scowled at him. "That's not funny, Sougo. We can destroy the entrance from the inside."

"Well, you guys can jolly-well continue arguing, but we're going." Gintoki announced, packing Kamui's collar and dragging them down the ladder.

Hijikata redirected his angry expression to the two Yorozuya idiots, about to reprimand them, giving Okita the opportunity to push him down into the hole. He screamed as he landed on Gintoki and Kamui, forcing both of them into the fall with him and they all landed on the gorilla's unconscious body.

"SOUGOOOO!" Hijikata shouted up the entry hole angrily, but he got no response.

On the surface, Okita flicked a grenade he had stolen from Katsura at some point on to the entrance, just in time as the Amanto arrived at the scene.

He grinned at them. "You're just a little too late, bitches."

The explosion blinded him momentarily, but he could hide himself behind a conveniently-placed concrete wall in time to escape the explosion.

Still grinning triumphantly, he peeked over his shield and nodded to himself contently as all the Amanto in the vicinity lied on the ground, roasted to a crisp.

Then blackness took over his vision as a heavy object collided with the back of his head, accompanied by searing pain.

* * *

_Present…_

Kagura didn't hesitate to let go of the butter knife and grab onto the abandoned steak knife instead, jamming it right through the admiral's aorta. She yanked it out again, a spray of blood staining the table cloth as she leapt over the surface and forced the small blade into the other Amanto's head.

Both bodies fell forward, breaking the plates in front of them with a sharp clatter.

"Get up!" She shouted at Okita, running over the table and grabbing another sharp knife on the way, taking hold of his arm and pulling him after her after somehow slicing through his chains with the small knife. They fell to the ground with a metallic clang, but he didn't have time to register what was going on as she forced him through the doors and down the corridor.

"What's going on?!" He shouted at her in confusion, but she had already begun panting in exhaustion as she pushed the both of them into an adjacent, smaller room.

It was tight and dark, but he could still make out her form as she leaned forward, supporting herself on her knees.

She gulped audibly. "We need to get to the control room, from there we can take over the ship." She rasped out.

"That was kind of obvious, I meant what's going on with you!" He whisper-yelled back to her as he heard footsteps pass them in the hallway.

She gave him a smirk. "Your idea worked, I deserve an Oscar but I'm still suffering from the tranquilizer, so I don't have my strength back yet. Unfortunately, getting to the control room won't be as easy as I planned it to be, but I must say that you getting rid of those two idiots was most definitely a major help."

Okita nearly blushed for multiple reasons.

One, his idea worked. She was obviously referring to a certain event he  _really_  didn't want to have to think about while they were supposed to be concentrating on escaping.

Two, she was acknowledging him. Actually acknowledging him, not just looking down on him, actually speaking to him as if he weren't just dirt on the ground she walked on. She said he was a  _major help_ , and he couldn't detect any sarcasm in that sentence, no, it was very genuine. Pride filled his heart and he was about to make a smug comment, but something else needed to be prioritized.

"What do you mean, your strength isn't back yet?" He asked her incredulously.

"It's exactly like as it sounds." She replied unhappily, having finally caught her breath again.

"Then where'd all that strength just now come from?" He pressed on sceptically.

"You humans have saying that goes something along the line of 'A cornered animal will bite the fox', right? Same principle."

A smirk grew on his face. "So you admit that you're a cornered animal?" He didn't bother correcting her in regards to the phrase.

"Well, I'm no human and I was quite literally cornered by two assholes, but perhaps your fur was covering your eyes and you were blinded, Chihuahua." She sneered, running her fingers up his bangs and holding them away from his face. "Has light returned to your dark world yet? Should I put a laundry clip in your hair to keep it out of your face? Huh?!"

He clasped his hand over her mouth when her volume began to rise.

"Don't worry, I can see everything clear as daylight." He grinned down at her, waiting for the frantic footsteps outside the door to disappear. "And are you sure you should be talking to the person who will save your sorry ass in such a tone?" He cooed, revelling in her upset expression.

"I'm not such a sore loser that I won't abandon my pride in a situation such as this one." She grunted, visibly unhappy.

"Then I want you to be honest with me. What artefact was he talking about in there? And where is it?"

Her blue eyes stayed locked with his red ones, but her demeanour changed from unhappy to determined. "It doesn't really have anything to do with you."

"It does now."

"You won't like the truth." She sighed, breaking eye-contact.

"The truth is the ugliest of all. Nobody likes the truth." He reasoned.

"You won't understand its nature, it's an alien artefact." She was obviously choosing her words carefully, speaking around the topic.

"I figured that much, just tell me what it is." He insisted forcefully. His patience was kind of wearing thin.

"It's kind of a secret item. I shouldn't even have known about its existence."

"What the hell is it? The fucking Hougyoku? Do we have to find Aizen in Hueco Mundo?" He snapped at her, uncaring whether there were Amanto outside or not.

"No, it's an Altana Crystal from Kouan!" She replied in a similarly snarky tone.

"A what from what?"

"I told you that you wouldn't understand!" She glared at him in exasperation.

"Okay, so does your brother have it?" He pressed out calmly, remembering that they had a goal somewhere in between all this.

"No." She answered curtly, still refusing to recreate eye-contact.

"Then who does? He mentioned somebody on earth has it!" He nearly shouted at her, but caught himself before actually doing so, Seriously, this woman…

"That's the part you won't like…" She said, glancing towards him and taking a deep breath.

"Stop talking around the bush and just fucking tell me already!"

* * *

_Elsewhere…_

The black-haired girl hummed to herself happily as she carried the cup of tea to her elder brother's room. Her ornaments jingled softly as she shook her head gracefully to the tune.

"Big brother! I brought you some tea! Make sure to drink it while it's still hot!" She cheerfully greeted him, elegantly setting the cup on the corner of his workspace.

He chuckled. "Still trying to convince me that it doesn't taste horrible?"

"You're such a meanie." She pouted as she left the room, the bright blue pendant on her necklace swaying with her movements.

* * *

_Elsewhere elsewhere…_

The cloaked man stepped into the bustling streets of Edo. He had a serious mission.

He spotted a Renho across the street, holding up a sign. He approached it, taking off his goggles and cap in the process, revealing a shiningly bald head.

"Excuse me?" He asked the Renho, who was searching for a long-haired samurai. "I couldn't help but notice that we are both looking for certain people…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You do know that I appreciate comments, right?


	12. First Kisses Are Always Awkward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm serious. Please leave a comment.

The expression on his face was priceless. Absolutely priceless.

"… I see." He eventually answered, still trying to process what she had just told him. "So the princess has the artefact, huh?"

"Yep."

"You gave the priceless artefact that has the entire Harusame hunting you down to the younger sister of Edo's ruler?" he rephrased her statement slowly.

"Yep, you're actually taking this much better than I expected." She gave him a coy grin.

He inhaled sharply before roughly pushing her to the ground.

"Oh, am I?" He whispered into her ear after wrapping his hands around her slender neck and strangling her with all his might.

"Y-Yep." She wheezed out while pushing a steak knife she had swiped from the table through his thigh. "At least you're not screaming."

He hissed at the sudden pain, releasing his grip on her. "I'm angry, not suicidal."

"Could've fooled me." She answered after finishing her coughing fit. Then she roughly yanked out the knife out of his skin.

A look of disbelief crossed his face. "Are you fucking mental?!" He whisper-yelled at her, his hands immediately putting pressure on the wound before it began gushing out too much blood.

"Yes." She simply replied, tearing a strip of the hem of her dress and plucking his hand away from the wound. "Now stop being a wuss and let me take care of this. You can't run with a knife stuck in your leg."

"And who was it who put it there?!" The sarcasm in his tone did not go unnoticed.

"Me. But I clean up after myself, you see." She responded methodically, tightly wrapping the strip of fabric around his thigh in an expert manner.

"Do you… do this often?" He found himself wondering out loud after observing the neat and orderly way the cloth sat around his leg.

"When you have skin as sensitive to sunlight as ours, you tend to be very good at mummifying yourself. Also saves money on Halloween costumes."

"I'm not even going to ask about that last part."

"Don't."

* * *

_Two days ago…_

Zura dramatically fell to the ground. "May the gods be praised, fresh air! I can breathe again! I will never take you for granted again!"

Gintoki folded his arms. "It's not my fault somebody", he shot glaring daggers at Takasugi, "decided to eat onions before going onto the battlefield."

"Hunh, it's not my fault somebody has diabetes." The other male shot the daggers back threefold.

"Can we not talk about food, please?" Kamui crawled out of the passage, looking twenty years older with sunken cheeks and an agonized expression. "I'm sooooo hungry…"

Hijikata ignored all the commotion behind him. "Idiots, all of them." He muttered, staring at the plants surrounding the exit instead.

Clearly, somebody went through the shrubbery not too long ago. Perhaps even around the time the Princess mysteriously managed to escape the castle.

The cigarette he had just put in his mouth fell out again due to his jaw dropping at the realization.

"Shit." He cursed before grabbing Kondo's collar and violently shaking him awake. "What have you done?! It's all your fault! We've ruined the young Princess! She can never get married now!"

He dropped Kondo back on the ground, frantically stuffing three cigarettes into his mouth and lighting them in one fell swoop.

"Oh my god, oh my fucking god, we're going to get executed for this! What if the Princess has been acting so strange lately due to being exposed to that vulgarity in there!"

Shinpachi merely stood off to the side, a blank look on his face.

No, he wasn't going to say anything this time.

* * *

People turned to stare at the odd duo walking through the streets of Edo. One was a giant, white from head to toe.

The other was mysterious, covered in clothes from top to bottom, shadowed by a large umbrella.

But they didn't care, they had a very important mission. They needed to find certain people.

* * *

The first thing Umibouzo did when he saw Kamui was slap him across the face. Hard. So hard that the boy flew against the wall of the nearest building.

"Jeez, baldy, what was that for?" Kamui coughed as blood began dripping down the side of his mouth.

"For not looking after your idiot of a younger sister!" The Yato scolded his son. "The other day I got a notice telling me that they captured Kagura and were going to sell her off somewhere! I dropped everything and came here immediately! Do you know how difficult getting an appointment on the planet Cheveux is?!"

"No, I wouldn't have to considering I'm not bald."

"You little brat! Didn't your parents teach you anything?!" Umibouzo whacked the back of his head.

"I don't know, you tell me." Kamui answered childishly.

Now sporting a new bump on his head, Kamui explained the situation, starting with the sudden Harusame-related murders, as Hijikata had indulged them during their friendly underground trip, on to the partnership between Zura, Takasugi and Kagura, then finishing off with the last details of the showdown at the Shinsengumi compound.

During the entire retelling, Umibouzo's frown seemed to grow deeper and deeper.

"This doesn't make any sense." He groaned once his son was done. "What reason could the Harusame possibly have to suddenly backstab one of their greatest assets?"

Takasugi suddenly grew attentive, looking at somebody who was approaching them. "I think there's somebody here who can shed more light on the situation."

The rest of the group turned around to look in the same direction he was staring off into.

"I guess you're Kagura's contact, am I right?" He asked the newcomer.

The black-haired girl put her umbrella aside and pulled off her sunglasses and face mask.

"Yes, that'd be me." Princess Soyo answered confidently.

* * *

"Y-Y-Your Highness!" Hijikata stuttered out before bowing down deeply. "I'm so sorry about what you saw in the tunnels, please forgive us! I'm sure Kondo's head is enough to pay for our sins, right?"

The princess elegantly held up a hand and smiled sweetly. "Do not worry, Vice-Commander. Nobody will be losing their head. Somebody may end losing a testicle or two though."

Shinpachi blanched. "That's not something a Princess should be saying…"

Hijikata didn't seem to mind as he was already presenting the princess with his sword and a once-again unconscious Kondo.

"While I would love to be the one to go through with the procedure," she answered demurely, "I'm afraid we have more pressing matters to discuss."

She turned to Kamui and held out something to him. "I was told to find you and give you this should certain events come to pass."

The redhead blinked in confusion before taking the object from the princess.

He inhaled sharply at the sight of what was now in his palm. "Is this…"

"…an Altana crystal?" His father finished for him, peering over his shoulder.

"That's what Kagura called it. She said it was from a place called Kouan." Soyo explained to the best extent that she could. "But I'm afraid that's all I know. We kept in touch regularly, but a few days ago she sent me a rather weird message."

"You two weren't exactly secretive about that." Takasugi commented. "I don't think that's the intended use of an imperial pigeon."

Soyo smiled and put a finger to her lips. "It's alright as long as nobody knows about it." Then her smile disappeared. "In the message she told me that, if I didn't receive another message with a certain key phrase within the next 24 hours, I should seek out the boy who looks a lot like her and give him the pendant."

Soyo hadn't noticed how incredibly quiet the duo had grown during her explanation. They were both busy staring at the small blue crystal in Kamui's hand.

"Kamui, are you… crying?" Shinpachi asked, shocked.

Kamui looked up at him, blinked, and realized that, yes, tears were rolling down his cheeks. "I'm sorry, I just never realized… how much she still thinks about mom."

* * *

"Alright, genius, what do we do now?" Okita asked his temporary partner-in-crime. Throwing punches at each other was quite a stress-reliever and pretty efficient in bring on a truce.

"We secure weapons."

He rolled his eyes. "Thank you, Captain Obvious, what else should we do, stay alive?"

She gave him a light-hearted smack. "Preferably, yes. But the problem is where were going to get those weapons from. The weaponry is two floors lower, it'd be impossible to sneak down and up again, considering the fact that the control room is one floor above us."

"Meaning we mug some of the guards." Okita concluded. "Nice, simple, easy. What's the problem?"

She sighed. "I don't know about you, but with all the guards huddled together, taking all at once without a weapon is a bit stupid."

"You have a steak knife, don't you?" He pointed out.

"Don't patronise me." She glared at him. "You're probably into that kind of stuff, but I'm not getting strangled every time I want to land a hit on somebody."

He shrugged. "Might've been the case, you never know."

She scoffed. Then she turned towards the door, opening it ever so slightly and peeking through the slim gap.

Then she turned to him, a mischievous grin on her face. "I take back what I said."

He smirked at her, tilting her chin upwards with his hand. "So you really are an M, huh?"

She scowled, slapping away his hand. "No, you moron. There are two guards standing outside, alone." She held out the steak knife which was covered in his dry blood out to him.

"It's dangerous to go alone, take this."

He rose an eyebrow at the bloodied weapon. "What?"

"Nice, simple, easy, you said it yourself. You take this, stab the two guards and hit the F key to auto-loot. Then you equip his weapons." She explained with a straight face.

He hesitantly took the knife. "O…kay?"

* * *

Kagura took the opportunity to calm her erratic heart after pushing the earthling idiot out into the hallway.

The skin of her chin was still burning from where he had touched it, and she had to take a few deep breaths before she could think straight again.

This was probably just a side-effect from whatever they pumped into her system.

Yeah, that had to be it.

She felt her cheeks grow hotter again. It was just a side-effect, right?

* * *

Takasugi calmly smoked his pipe as he stood alone in the clearing outside of Edo. Everybody had just run off into different directions, leaving him behind. It seemed even the Shinsengumi leaders had better things to do than stick around the country's most-wanted terrorist.

He guessed he'll just have to wait for the Kiheitai to find him.

* * *

Hijikata continued profusely apologizing to the princess as he accompanied her back to the castle, dragging an unconscious Kondo behind him should she want to personally cut off his balls.

To his horror, the princess expressed interest in doing it herself.

He'd be having a very, very long conversation with old man Matsudeira after this.

* * *

The poor Amanto didn't know what to do when two crazed idiots suddenly held up umbrellas into his face, telling him that they were hijacking his ship now. Another three humans and two Amanto stood behind them, waiting for the baldy and redhead to organize their transportation.

Shinpachi sighed, remembering the very short conversation between Kamui and Princess Soyo that led to this.

_Kamui put the pendant back into Soyo's hand. She gave him a confused, wide-eyed look. "Wh-"_

" _My sister gave this to you, so you keep it." He flashed her a blinding smile. "Her feelings have reached me, no, both of us." He glanced over his shoulder at his father. "Right?"_

_The senior Yato nodded. "Yes, they did."_

_He turned back to Soyo. "That's all we need. That said, thank you for being Kagura's friend."_

_The heartfelt honesty made the princess speechless, but she managed to reciprocate by smiling back. "It will always be my pleasure."_

_A sudden beep filled the air, causing all heads to turn towards the long-haired, blonde Yato who was also amongst them._

" _Looks like the tracking device I put on her finally picked up a signal." Abuto mumbled._

_Shinpachi frowned. "You put a tracking device on your captain?"_

" _Yeah, we tend to lose her sometimes." He answered nonchalant. "So we injected one into her bloodstream while she was in a food-coma. Probably the best investment we ever made."_

* * *

"Only one sword? That's pretty lame."

The sandy-haired man grimaced. "What do you expect from two guards who lost in a fight against a fucking steak knife?!"

"Nice, simple, easy." She quoted him, emphasizing her point by making air quotations and pronouncing the words perfectly, her former accent gone.

"I get it, okay, how long do you plan to rub that in my face?" He groaned as they approached the staircase.

"For the rest of your life, which, if you're lucky, will extend past the trip up these stairs." She teased, mirth dancing in her azure eyes.

He sighed. "What am I, your personal meat shield?"

"Exactly. Didn't I already make that clear?" She haughtily replied, the corner of her lip tugging upwards.

"The only things you made clear so far were your questionable life choices." He deadpanned.

"And were yours any less questionable?" She shot back, tilting her head in a way that made her vermillion hair trail across her neck and past her collarbones, which were now somewhat exposed due to her loosening her impractical outfit. And if he followed the line…

He shook himself out of his thoughts. "Everything about life is questionable. The question is whether you are going to choose to question it. I chose not to."

She nodded. "Then don't question mine either." With that, she pushed the doors to the staircase open, cutting off their conversation.

"Stay behind me." He told her before going up the first flight.

* * *

The path to the control room was rather empty, suspiciously so.

In conclusion, it was no surprise to see that there was an ambush waiting for them at said control room.

"Let's do this." China told him, and he nodded.

He cleared his thoughts as the sword ripped through the first Amanto, then the second, then a third. This was his form of meditation. His way of calming his soul.

Kagura's bloodlust simmered behind him, adding to the comforting surrounding.

He elegantly dodged a would-be fatal blow, roughly pushing Kagura out of the way. They needed her to stay alive.  _He_  needed her to stay alive. He needed to  _protect_  her.

He never thought about it that way, though. His sword was always one that went for the kill, it ripped lives out of bodies and left souls homeless. Well, until they went to Soul Society, that is.

It was a weapon of massacre, and yet, here he stood, in front of a rather helpless girl, protecting her even though she technically was the enemy. When had things come this far?

He felt her presence lingering behind him, but he couldn't fend off all the Amanto approaching them from all sides, and without her Yato strength nor the steak knife, China was pretty useless.

It only took one wrongly anticipated move and the feeling of blood splatter landing on the back of his shirt, and all of a sudden his heart stopped. Fear, frenzy and anxiety took over him, and he turned around, not even thinking about masking his concern for his red-haired companion.

She was covered in blood, crimson dripping off her face, a look of surprise etched on her face. Her hair had suffered from an extremely messy haircut, and he felt the dread in him rise.

"Oh…" She muttered. "Swords aren't actually that difficult to use…"

His disbelieving eyes went straight to her hands, where she held a katana similarly to how she would have held her umbrella. The blood covered him from top to bottom, but it took him a second to realize that it wasn't actually hers, but belonged to the very much dead Amanto at her feet.

She must have swung the sword in such a grand gesture that it ended up spraying the red liquid all over him as well.

"Hahahahahaha, you may bow down to me and call me Luo Lang!" She cackled as another Amanto's blood decorated the window panels.

He gulped. Maybe she wasn't going to be that useless, after all.

* * *

The last body hit the floor and she supported herself on the sword, panting heavily.

It never occurred to Sougo exactly what kind of monster she was, even without her strength and stamina, she was still a formidable force.

And there she stood, covered in her enemies' blood, eyes burning in excitement and brimming with life. It was an ethereal sight that left him breathless, like a blood-red angel of death, giving off the threatening aura of a savage animal at the same time.

An enigma. Much like his questionable attraction to her.

Her hanfu dress was torn and soaked in crimson, but he wouldn't have it any other way.

And for the first time in forever… his cold, black shrivelled heart reached out to somebody.

A few steps closed the distance between them.

"You should do that more often." He told her as if she had gotten a cute new haircut. Well, she kind of did, but it wasn't really cute or trendy. "It looks good on you."

"What?" She asked in confusion, one eyebrow racing towards the sky, the other questioning its existence.

"Like this…" He casually brushed a blood-stained strand away from her forehead. Her azure eyes gave him a questioning look, but he just gently smiled at her. "Like this… you're at your most beautiful."

She didn't have time to protest or respond as he leaned down and swiftly met her lips with his own.

After all, there was nothing more romantic than making out in the middle of a room filled with corpses.

* * *

_Elsewhere in the universe…_

The Amanto at the steering wheel gulped when he heard two distinct clicks behind him. Daring to turn around a bit, he was met by the barrels of two guns.

"Oi, move this ship faster, my daddy senses are tingling."

"So are my big brother senses."

The Amanto shrieked and turned back forward, moving the speed lever up.

"If anything happens to Kagura, it's your fault!" The father-son duo spoke in perfect unison.

"M-My apologiiiies!" The Amanto cried.


	13. The Blind Eye Of The Beholder

Beautiful.

The word echoed in her mind.

Beautiful.

What was beauty?

Her mother was beautiful, extremely beautiful even.

As a near carbon-copy of her mother, Kagura was also considered beautiful.

However, once people got a glimpse of her true nature, the first word that slipped from their mouth was usually not 'beautiful'. It was more along the lines of 'monster'.

Beauty was subjective.

Beauty was fleeting.

Beauty was useless in a world where only your fists counted.

* * *

She remembered staring into her reflection in one of the glass windows of Housen's spaceship, traces of distant galaxies glimmering through.

Her brilliant blue eyes. Her bright red hair. They were not hers, they were her mothers. Her younger self fisted a bunch of the vermillion locks that were beginning to reach past her shoulders.

When she was still living with her… family, she always wanted long hair, like her mother, like her father, like her brother.

Why?

Because it was pretty. Beautiful.

_Unpractical._

With that last thought, she dragged a dagger through her locks, creating a jagged, harsh cut. She was a warrior, she didn't need to be beautiful.

* * *

"Young rabbit, why did you do that?" Housen asked her while one of the serving girls evened out her jagged haircut.

She looked away in shame. It was such a petty reason in retrospect.

He sighed heavily, then dismissed the servant. His hand ruffled the top of her head. "Is it because of what you saw in your reflection?"

No answer.

"A warrior only cuts their hair once they lose a battle. As long as they win, it's a symbol of skill to wear your hair long." He explained, watching her reaction closely. "Even your father had a mighty long mane at some point."

Her face distorted into a grimace at the mention of her old man. "Then why does that baldy have so little hair now?"

Housen chuckled, messing with her freshly cut hair some more. "He's losing the battle against age. Life is difficult to conquer."

Kagura frowned. "Will I also be bald one day?"

"Who knows, maybe, maybe not. But you should take care of your hair while you have it." With one last ruffle he left her to her own accords.

Her fingers combed through her shortened locks, smoothing them down again. In a way, she wasn't upset that she chose to cut them. With the new things Housen just told her, it was alright.

She already lost the greatest battle of her life. The battle against herself.

* * *

Control was key.

Kagura liked being in control.

If she had been in control, she could've prevented her mother's death.

As a mercenary, she had power and control. It was her decision, her choice, her word that counted. She felt pleasure when she had somebody else's life in her hands.

She respected Housen for that, he always had excellent control of his division, as well as any situation presented to him.

She looked up to him.

* * *

Feelings were unnecessary, a hindrance to being a good mercenary, but Kagura felt nothing but utter betrayal in the depths of her heart. A despairing feeling nearly as heart-wrenching as the day her mother died and all her father had to offer was a mere 'I'm sorry'.

Housen had become a wishful replacement father figure to her, because he was powerful and he was in control.

They'd grown close over the years, so far that he would laugh with her when she made jokes about his receding hairline.

The Seventh Division eventually scooped her up into their family, and they would storm into battle with proud smiles on their faces. Together.

Abuto would sigh at a lot of her antics, but sometimes he'd also smile at her. He was like an older brother to her.

Halfway across the universe, she found a new place to call home, and new people to call her family.

* * *

But the sight of him in Yoshiwara… made her sick.

Her shining star of a mentor was nothing more than a pile of dust, locking up beautiful birds so that he could watch them.

Ah, there it was again. Beauty. It made people go insane.

What a wretched thing.

The feeling of betrayal grew from deep within her soul, evolving into a burning fire, suddenly combusting into a supernova.

Her bloodied fist trembled at her side as she stood over Housen's lifeless, mangled corpse.

She was in control.

She twisted and wrenched the blue-haired Shinra's fingers until her howls of pain and distinct snaps filled the air.

She was in control.

The Peacock Princess tried crawling away, blood pouring out of her eye sockets, tangled, broken fingers trying to safe herself.

Kagura watched impassively. She was in control.

She overpowered the earthling fighter.

She was in control.

Her pale fingers trailed across the surface of a mirror, and without hesitation she shattered it.

She was in control, she was in control.

She was in control.

* * *

The Harusame betrayed her because they feared her. She smiled then, and laughed at their cowardly antics, under the illusion that she was in control.

But she wasn't.

* * *

She slipped up once, and suddenly she was reduced to everything she detested.

She was weak, useless, and  _beautiful_.

The dress was made from fine silk, the colour complementing her pale skin nicely. She caught a glimpse of her reflection.

She was a beautiful doll.

She was worthless.

The knife glinted in the fancy chandelier light.

It was within her reach.

Control was within her reach.

* * *

But it wasn't.

He was in control.

It was as if he had the nerve to feel the need to protect her. It sickened her.

A competitive voice in the back of her head whispered that he was overtaking her. She picked up the stray katana, its weight unusually heavy in her hands.

Hack 'n' slash, it should be simple enough.

The feeling of blood splattering on her skin was familiar, and calming. She thought that things would be okay again. She could regain control.

With every heave, with every corpse, she felt one step closer to the reigns of the situation. It'd be alright.

But everything collapsed into the distance when he stood in front of her, his red eyes brimming with life imploringly staring right into her soul.

She couldn't wrap her head around why he kept ruining the perfectly balanced world she created for herself. He made her head spin, and she had no idea why.

She was absolutely not in control.

The hands that had just slayed an uncountable amount of Amanto brushed against her skin with the utmost of care.

And suddenly, she couldn't think straight.

Their proximity suddenly made her stomach act up, and her heart was beating irrationally fast.

His next words brought even more disarray to her thoughts.

He thought she was beautiful?

If she had the chance to, she would have laughed. Right now, what part of her was beautiful? Her clothes were in shreds, her hair sported an awkward cut and she was covered in blood from head to toe.

She looked like she came right out of nightmare.

But she never had the chance to laugh. His mouth was on hers, and she felt the last hopes of regaining control slip out from between her fingers.

Her shortened hair brushed against the nape of her neck, reminding her of the battle she was currently definitely losing.

But a small part of her didn't mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, comments, comments please~


	14. Family Matters Are The Messiest Ones

Just because a small part of her was okay did not mean she as an entity was okay with it. She felt herself panic, switching to instinctively handling problems. AKA removing the problem permanently.

Her hands came up between their bodies, pushing him away, and in a reflexive action, she made him lose his balance, effectively allowing her to crash the back of his skull into the marble floor of the control centre.

She was breathing heavily, her thoughts in chaos and shambles.

"I-Idiot, there's nobody steering the ship." She muttered out from under her breath.

It wasn't fair.

He was out cold, but still breathing. If she had been at full strength, there was no doubt half of his brain would be gone as well.

Gulping, she got up on shaky legs, walking over to the navigation panel.

Her heartbeat echoed in her mind, and the conflicting feelings in her soul stirred all sorts of emotions within her.

Her trembling hands took control of the steering wheel, and she allowed herself to chuckle. She just killed so many living things, she should be feeling elated! She should be laughing her head off maniacally.

That's what everybody expects of the Commander of the Seventh Division.

And yet, she was standing here, unsteady hands and scatter-brained. Her throat felt parched, and her chuckles slowly died down as the morphed into silent sobs.

Why was this happening to her? Why were the emotions she so carefully stored away all spilling out now? Why was he the cause of all her problems?

Why couldn't she figure this out?!

A tear slipped from her cheek, mingling with the pool of blood on the ground.

* * *

That's how Abuto found her a few hours later.

While the sight of Umibouzo and his son storming an empty ship with serious faces and battle cries was hilarious, the amount of dead bodies littering the entire ship was quite frightening.

The stench of iron was heavy in the air, making the blonde Yato wrinkle his nose. This screamed of his commander's handiwork.

There was no need to worry, it seemed. That's what he thought at that time, but once he entered the control room, and he finally laid his eyes on said commander for the first time in a long, exhausting week, he immediately knew that something was wrong.

She turned around, looking at them with her usual impassive expression. Everything else about her looked worse for the wear, though. Her clothes were a mess, she was soaked in crimson and her hair fell over her shoulders in sloppy, uneven strands.

"Abuto, it seems you finally decided to show up." She greeted him, ignoring her family members.

Behind them, the bespectacled earthling noticed the unmoving form of the police officer from Earth. Frazzled shouts of "Captain Okitaaaaaa!" could be heard, but Kagura waved it off.

"Don't worry, I didn't kill him. I just knocked him out. I'm not that ungrateful."

"Don't say such things in front of your father, you ungrateful brat! You are the definition of ungrateful!" Umibouzo shouted at his prodigal daughter.

"Nobody asked you for your opinion, Baldy." She dismissed her father tiredly.

Umibouzo seemed to halt his movements for a second, thrown off by the lack of bite in her words.

Kagura used this opportunity to slip past the group, walking out into the hallway. Abuto followed her dutifully.

"You look like you could use a bath. And some fresh clothes." He commented.

He waited for a snippy insult to come shooting at him, but instead she just kept walking on quietly.

"That'd be nice." She finally whispered.

The blonde Yato sighed to himself, shaking his head mentally. He often forgot that she was just a little girl.

It wasn't as if he didn't realize that her hands were trembling at her sides and that the skin under her eyes wasn't red from blood splatter.

He caught up to her, putting a comforting hand on the top of her fiery hair. It was a simple gesture, something he used to do a lot when he teased her for her short stature.

He was sure the earthlings wouldn't mind if he left with his commander.

He did feel slightly guilty about taking her away from her blood relatives, but sometimes a rabbit needed to be able to cry in solitude.

* * *

Kamui watched his sister and her subordinate walk past him, head held high. He exchanged a glance with his father, both confirming each other's suspicions.

"Could this be… character development?" Kamui pondered, eyebrows furrowed into a thoughtful frown.

"Character development? What's that, some kind of disease?" Gintoki muttered while picking his nose, only to receive a half-hearted smack to the back of his head, courtesy of Shinpachi.

"It's only dangerous for perm-heads like you." Umibouzo went on, much to the chagrin of the only straight man present.

"Oh really? Then it must be equally dangerous for baldies like you." The samurai retorted, brow twitching.

"Stop it, you two!" Shinpachi stepped between them, frantically waving his hands up and down. "We have more important things to think about! Like getting Captain Okita to a hospital!"

"Tch, that bastard can stay here and rot, for all I care." Umibouzo waved his hand dismissively. "You saw how beat up my daughter was, the bastard probably didn't do jack shit."

Shinpachi sighed. "Didn't you  _want_  to beat her up?"

"Yes, I wanted to beat her up with my own fists! It's my privilege as her father! I won't let any half-ass Amanto or police officers take that from me!" The bounty hunter exclaimed pridefully, shooting his fist into the air.

"Shut up, baldy." Kamui interrupted, stepping past his father and kneeling down next to an unconscious Okita. "As much as I want to leave him here to rot, he's the only one who can give us definitive answers."

His father didn't hide his disapproval of the idea, but complied with a grunt. "I just hope one of you guys can steer this ship, because I'm pretty sure those two just left on the ship we came here on while you were chatting away."

"Don't worry about that, old man." Gintoki stated smugly, patting the elder Yato on the back while grinning mischievously. "It can't be that different from driving a motorcycle."

* * *

Hijikata lit the tenth cigarette of the hour, exhaling a large cloud of smoke. A mummified patient was being rolled past him on a stretcher, silver locks peeking out between the bandages.

"I hope you are ready to work your asses off to pay back the damage you caused." The Demon-Vice-Chief remarked callously, taking another nicotine-filled puff of his cigarette.

A muffled sound came in response, which probably consisted mainly out of profanities and false accusations, so he just gestured the paramedic to take the injured man away.

Another louder, muffled grunt followed, but Hijikata ignored it, turning back around to face the wreck of a spaceship that crash-landed in the middle of Edo Park.

"Yamazaki, what's the status report?" He spoke into his radio, waiting for the inspector on the other side.

" _We lost count of the number of corpses again, sir. Please be patient while we try counting them again. The paramedics already took all survivors out, so we're going to check the flight logs after this, sir."_ The bland inspector reported dutifully.

Hijikata sighed, watching from a distance as a pair of paramedics rolled another stretcher out of the space ship's entrance, this time holding a blonde man.

He fished out his cigarettes again, cursing when realizing that his packet was empty. He stomped over to the vending machine, pushing coin after the other into the designated slot, all while wondering what the hell happened on that ship.

* * *

Okita was sick and tired of waking up with a bleary mind in an unknown location. At least this time he figured it was a hospital before he started going on any rampages.

His head sunk deeper into the soft pillow while he checked how much of his body he could actually move, noting that everything seemed to be alright, apart from the few sore muscles here and there.

Honestly, it wasn't as bad as expected it to be.

"So you're finally awake, bastard. I hope you had fun skipping out on work while we were busy rebuilding the compound." A familiar gruff voice spoke from next to him.

"Ah, it's Hijikata-asshole." Okita greeted his superior.

"How are you feeling?" Hijikata-asshole asked him, pulling up a bowl of ramen and squeezing a bottle of mayonnaise over it.

"Like the dog shit you're about to eat." He replied smoothly, earning him a glare from the Vice-Chief.

"I'd give you a good smack for that, but that China Girl already took care of that for me." His superior huffed, then began to slurp his noodles.

Okita frowned, training his eyes back onto the white hospital ceiling.

What happened with China again?

They were on the space ship, fighting the Amanto, and then…

Okita paused all of his thoughts, rationality breaking through his mind.

He kissed her, didn't he? He actually kissed her.

No, giving her a big fat hickey wasn't enough, he actually had to go and kiss the monster girl.

"Fuck…" He muttered aloud.

"Remembered anything important? I still need you to write a report on what happened up there." Hijikata reminded him, making Okita groan.

Paperwork was a hassle. Dealing with China was a hassle.

"Oh, Hijikata, you'd never believe it." Okita put the back of his hand against his fore head. "It seems I have no recollection of any of the events from the past few days." He explained in a flat voice, to the obvious chagrin of his superior.

"That was the most unconvincing performance I have ever seen you give. You better step up your game for when Old Man Matsudeira comes in here with his guns." Hijikata grunted, dabbing his mouth with a clean handkerchief and standing up.

Okita frowned. "Why would Matsudeira want to speak with me?"

"Something about the Princess being involved in criminal activities or so. You might want to remember any details concerning that before he gets here." Hijikata waved him goodbye and left the room, effectively leaving him alone with his thoughts.

The scene from the control room replayed in his head, and he covered his mouth with his hand.

He never had this problem before. Wooing girls was easy. Well, masochistic human girls, that was. China… China was just a challenge, on a whole other level.

He sighed, shaking that thought off. No, that wasn't true. She was so much more than that.

And that bothered him even more.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a door opening, and he turned his head towards the entrance to his room, ready to insult Hijikata for forgetting something, but he stopped himself just in time to realize that the newcomer was not Hijikata-asshole.

"Your Highness…" He greeted the young princess, confusion on his mind. Why was she here?

"Captain Okita." She returned with a short, elegant bow. It only occurred to him then that it had been a long time since anybody addressed him with his full title.

"How may I help you, Your Highness?" He asked her, watching as she slid into the chair next to his bed. She was dressed in servant clothes, but he had guarded her often enough to recognize her even without the lavish accessories.

"I heard you were taken captive along with Kagura, am I right?" Princess Soyo asked tentatively, nervously playing with the hem of her sleeve.

"I wouldn't word it like that, but yes." He replied dutifully.

She fidgeted a bit more, then looked up at him. "Is she… Is she alright? I haven't been able to contact her lately, and I'm worried about her. I heard you were in pretty bad shape, and I know that she heals faster and stuff, but I'm still… worried about her."

Okita sighed quietly, then put an encouraging hand on the princess' shoulder. "She was just fine the last time I saw her. Fine enough to ram my head into the ground."

The princess' face instantly lit up with a smile. "Oh, thank you Captain Okita! That's so good to hear!"

Okita's lip twitched slightly, and he briefly found himself wondering if this was what all the people who were at the receiving end of his sadistic actions felt like.

"I'm glad I could appease you, Your Highness, but should you really be out of the castle?"

She shot him a confident smile filled with mirth. "Theoretically yes, practically, they never have to find out."

He found himself returning the smile. "If you say so, Your Highness."

As it turned out, even monsters like China Girl had friends who cared about her. And he would probably like to be one of them. No, his mind chided. Not friends, more than that.

* * *

It was an unexpected encounter.

Her hair shone brilliantly in the midday sun, and Kamui wondered whether she was insane, doing some sort of crazy training or had just become downright stupid.

Nonetheless, he slid next to her on the bench, wordlessly holding his umbrella over both their heads.

"I'm surprised you came back here." He commented after an awkward silence. What do you say to the sibling who's tried to kill you on multiple occasions without it being awkward?

"The food's pretty good." She answered with nonchalant shrug, pulling a dango stick out of nowhere and chewing on it.

"I hope you paid for that." He commented, eyeing the snack.

"Just because I'm a pirate doesn't mean I don't know how to show respect to masters of a craft. I paid for it fair and square. I didn't even have to beg for a discount, unlike some people." She drawled out her last few words, sliding her azure eyes to the side to meet his.

"I'm not even going to deny that." Kamui sighed, watching the clouds that were slowly growing in number across the sky.

Having an actual conversation with Kagura that didn't happen parallel to them beating the shit out of each other felt… weird. Weird, but nostalgic and good.

With a tug of his heart, he realized just how much he missed it. The time when Mom was still around, and Kagura actually smiled every now and then.

His mind wandered back to the Altana crystal.

"Kagura…" He started, but was halted by her raising her hand.

"Whatever you have to say, I don't want to hear it." She cut him off.

Kamui grimaced, and after mustering his courage, wrapped his hand around her small wrist. "Then I'll force you to hear me out."

He felt her muscles tense under his hold, and in the blink of an eye a dango stick was close to being pushed through his skull, but he managed to block it in the nick of time.

His umbrella dropped to the ground, both of his hands now occupied with holding onto his younger sister.

A drop of rain fell onto the bench between them, a tell-tale sign that their greatest enemy, the sun, was out of sight for now.

"I don't want to." Kagura retorted stubbornly, pushing against his hold and punching him in the face, landing a solid hit on his nose.

The feeling of nostalgia grew within him. Talking things out was for earthling children. They were Yato, they spoke with their fists.

Because, for once, she wasn't actually trying to kill him. It seemed more as if… she was trying to run away.

And as her big brother, he wasn't going to let her. Being a homicidal maniac was one thing, but a coward? No way in hell.

"What's wrong with you, huh? Where's the usual ferocity? Did you lose it in that one fight in space?!" He prodded at her, searching for the smug sister he knew.

But this time, he didn't get the usual load of her superiority complex. He didn't hear her condescending laughter ringing around him.

Instead, he felt her confusion. Her moves weren't as carefully planned out as usual, they were rough, ragged and uncoordinated. There was no flow, just jagged punches and kicks filled with uncertainty.

Her short hair swung around her face in erratic motions, emphasized by the multitude of emotions flashing through her eyes.

There was no grace in her fighting style, in fact, she resembled a frustrated child who had difficulties learning a new technique.

The rain began to fall on them in hard drops, trailing down the skin of their fists as they collided with each other.

Yes, she was a crazy bitch. Yes, she had serious mental issues. Yes, he was part of the reason for why she was like this. And yes, he was a big brother who was concerned about his little sister.

Their knuckles met each other again, just as Kagura let out a grunt of emotion.

He somehow managed to use that small window of time and grab both her wrist in an effective lock, limiting her mobility for a short moment.

There were many ways to say 'I love you', and this was just how the Yato did it.

The rain grew in intensity as she looked up at him, blue eyes wavering between hatred and unknowingness.

It was a cliché that it always rained during dramatic moments, but that was the last thought on his mind at that moment.

"You need to let go." He said quietly, panting hard. "You need to let go of your hatred. Your fear. Mom wouldn't want to see you like this."

She shot him a poisonous look, mind clear on what she was supposed to be feeling and another punch made contact with his face. She pulled back her fist, readying it for another strike.

"If you don't let go of it," he rasped, "if you don't, then the rain will never stop."

He felt the air pressure against his bruised face as her fist abruptly stopped mere millimetres away. He had made the right call, it seemed. Her shoulders started shaking, and the nearly outstretched arm trembled and slowly lowered itself.

To anybody else it looked like she was about to laugh, but Kamui knew better.

The rain had soaked through her clothes and her hair, streaks of rain water had mingled with the blood oozing out of her various wounds.

Not that he looked much better.

"When…" she choked out. "When will the rain stop?"

And all of the sudden, he was standing next to her on that cursed staircase in Rakuyou, she was looking at him past the brim of her parasol and asking him the exact same thing.

But this time around he had an answer.

He pushed her lowered fist aside gently and pulled her into his arms, tightening his hold on her.

"Right now, if you let it."

* * *

Umibouzo watched his two idiotic children fall into each other's embrace, his daughter breaking out into tears.

He walked over to them, pulling them both close to himself.

He was a horrible husband, and a terrible father, but he knew that. And maybe, it was time for him to pick up the pieces on the ground.

To fix what was left of his family.

He would pick up these pieces, and never let them go again.


	15. Aftermath Is As Bad As Actual Math

"Well, this is awkward."

Okita glanced at the silent girl sitting next to him, quietly munching on his snacks. "Also, I'd appreciate it if you didn't eat all of my snacks."

She shrugged, reaching for another apple and biting into it.

His face fell into an annoyed expression. "What are you even doing here? I thought you'd have gone back home by now."

She finished chewing on her piece of apple, then directed her blue eyes at him for the first time since entering his hospital room.

"I don't like unfinished business." She started, then gnawed on her bottom lip in thought. "And I've been thinking a lot lately."

Okita knew exactly what she was referring to, but decided to play ignorant for the sake of the stiff atmosphere in the room. "I hope you didn't hurt your head while doing that." He remarked instead, in a futile attempt to recreate their usual banter.

But she just lowered her head and glanced at him through her bright orange bangs. "Stop that."

The Shinsengumi captain sighed and sank back into his pillow, knowing this conversation wasn't going to go anywhere if they both kept their mouths shut like this.

One of them was going to have to step on their own pride, and it looked it was going to be him.

"Kagura." He began. "Why did you come here? If it was to laugh at my pitiable state, then you can go again."

The shock of suddenly hearing her own name made her head snap back up to look at him. Her stiff posture loosened slightly as she leaned back on the chair the hospital provided for visitors. Then she groaned.

"As much as I'd love that to be the reason," She mumbled, "I didn't come here to laugh at you, your subordinates in front of the door already took care of that."

While making a mental note to punish them later, Okita glanced over at the female Yato. "This conversation is awfully out of character for both of us."

"Gee, thank you for your brilliant observation, Captain Obvious." Her sarcasm shone through.

"That's Captain Okita to you." He replied with a smirk, but with that their banter came to a standstill again.

However, it didn't stop the damn alien from stealing his get-well snacks.

She reached out for another apple, but stopped herself before actually taking it. "Sorry, I eat when I don't know what to do."

The apology itself would have been a miracle, but the tone she said it on sounded anything but apologetic.

But he was willing to let it go this one time. He sunk back into his pillow and closed his eyes. "You think too much." He said instead, stopping the female Yato from diving straight back into her thoughts. "Stop thinking and just say what you want to say."

She stared back at him with wide, blue eyes, fragments of words hanging from the tip of her tongue. "I spoke to my brother."

Okita peaked at her through a half-lidded eye, raising an inquisitive eyebrow. That wasn't quite what he had been expecting, but okay.

"In the end, you were right." She continued, glancing off to the side and pulling her knees closer to her chest. Her arms encircled her own body shortly after that, and Okita nearly forgot that this was a killing machine he was talking to. He also made sure to not let his eyes rest on her exposed leg skin for too long.

"I was right about what?" He asked quietly, countless insults he threw at either of them at some point in time crossing his mind. Or was it maybe… something to do with what happened in the control room?

"You once said… that Kamui and I are more similar than we'd think." She mumbled reluctantly.

"I did?"

* * *

She sighed, resting her forehead against her knees and letting out a string of incoherent curses. Why was this so hard?

In fact, what was she even thinking? She fought the blush threatening to turn her face the same shade as her hair, mentally berating herself for showing such indecisiveness, all while a small voice in her head kept repeating that this particular earthling had already seen her in a far worse state.

On top of that, why was she talking about Kamui? That wasn't the thing she intended on bring up at all!

"You're thinking too much again." The sadist's lazy voice drawled, reminding her that he was also in the room.

She ignored the way her heartbeat sped up and sent him a soft glare. One more of his comments and she was so smacking him again, regardless of the fact that he was in the hospital because of her in the first place. In fact, they could treat his wounds right away.

"Although this is probably the first time you acknowledged his as family." Okita added thoughtfully. Kagura wanted to hit him just for the heck of it, but remained seated, begrudgingly noting that he was right.

Her relationship with both Kamui and Baldy was nowhere near a normal family's, but it wasn't as instable as an atomic reaction anymore. They were working on it, together. She had been so selfish to assume that she was the only one affected by her mother's death.

"I just said that we spoke." She answered vaguely, trying to find a way to plausibly change the subject as well as somehow talk about the thing she wanted to talk about it.

She didn't spend twenty minutes loitering in front of his hospital room for nothing.

"Just forget it." She added, trying to phrase her next words correctly. "What I actually wanted to say was…"

His red eyes were on her, giving her undivided attention. She felt her blood rush towards her face once more, the disgustingly warm and fuzzy feeling in her stomach.

"What I wanted to say… Well, I wanted to ask you to…" She groaned, breaking off her sentence and burying her face in her knees once more.

"Just stop doing that." She finally said, louder than intended and full of her frustration.

"Stop doing what?" He inquired, genuine confusion lacing his voice.

"Making me feel this way."

* * *

The thick silence sat in between them, neither of them daring to say a word.

Okita didn't dare ask her to elaborate on her statement, and judging by the mortified expression that crossed her face right after she had said that out loud, the only thing keeping her in this room was her pride.

She hadn't looked at him once in the time span it took her to hectically gorge away the rest of his gift basket, not that it was a long time period to begin with.

All of a sudden, she stood up, making the chair clatter as it hit the ground. A split second later, she was hauling him up by the collar of his hospital gown.

"Oi, what are you doi-" He was cut off by the sharp glare she gave him, additionally to the sudden flip of personality. On a side note, at least she was acting more like herself now.

"This is your fault." She muttered darkly. "It's your fault I'm behaving this way! I don't get, but ever since you've been around… I… I… I think too much!"

"How is that my fault?" He shot back at her. "Do you really think you're the only one going through this shit?!"

His unintentional sudden outburst shut her up, and the anger and confusion in her eyes slowly faded into revelation.

Then she blushed. Hard. When she had picked him off the bed, she had pulled him quite close to herself, their faces mere inches apart.

He sighed, this time paying more attention to suppressing his wants and going with rationality. Their position was practically inviting him to just reach up and… and… damnit.

He had subconsciously already put his hand on her wrists, slowly trailing his fingers up along her arm, the skin contact making her stiffen.

Screw rationality. Screw consideration.

Why did he have to hold himself back? Why was he being so nice to her? Wasn't she the one who had rudely barged into his hospital room and eaten all of his get-well snacks? Did she really think he was unaffected by this?

Obviously, he was way too affected by her.

"You haven't answered me yet." He said seriously, although it came out more like a whisper. His fingers nearly reached her cheek, but just as they were about to pass her jaw bone she jerked and cast her eyes towards the floor.

* * *

"I'm awfully selfish, aren't I?" Kagura muttered in defeat. "I'm just an inconsiderate monster, a tool for those who don't want to get their hands dirty, a naïve little girl who declared war on the universe thinking she could actually win. Look at where that got me."

The earthling's touch had left a burning sensation on her skin, much like it had before.

Everything was so out of her control she had already given up on reigning everything back in.

She let a bark of pained laughter escape from her lips. This conversation was out of control already. "I'm pathetic, am I not?"

Her grip on his clothes loosened slightly, but not enough to let him rest back on the bed. His hand rested on the side of her face.

"Right now, you look pretty pathetic." He admitted honestly. "But then again, nobody looks good in crippling self-doubt."

Her heart sank with every word, growing heavier and heavier with each syllable that left his mouth.

He tilted her head back up to look him in the eye. Kagura vaguely remembered him doing this before, but back then she had been caught up in the situation to realize just how much her body welcomed the touch.

His ruby eyes held a hard edge to them as he examined her face, then he shook his head. "You really look horrible with that expression. Are you constipated?"

In the snap of a second, he was hauled halfway across the room, shoved through the window headfirst, teetering on the verge of falling out.

"Maybe I should make you shit yourself!" She retorted angrily. "Or better yet decorate the pavement with your guts!"

He grinned up at her, making her treacherous heart skip a beat. "What are you grinning for, you smug bastard?!" She continued, holding him further out of the window.

"That's more like it." He answered, his grin turning more into a genuine smile. "That's more like the China I know."

"Eh?"

Surprised by his answer, her grip on his hospital gown loosened completely, making her remember that she had been holding him out of the third floor window.

She scrambled to catch him before he actually hit the pavement below, grabbing a handful of his sandy locks and pulling him up by them against the force of gravity. Unceremoniously, she pulled him back into the room and dumped him on the floor, exhaling deeply in relief.

"Goddamnit China!" He shouted at her. "That hurt!"

* * *

Kamui nodded eagerly at the woman's words, jutting in words of complete agreement every now and then.

"That pig, truly unforgivable." He exclaimed at the end of the housewife's story about her cheater of a husband.

Tears rushed down her cheeks, creating a mess of snot and salt water on her face. "And then he just kept on denying it, telling me I was the only one he'd ever love!" She wailed, blowing her nose into a rag that Shinpachi was sure was one of Gin's missing shirts.

"Truly, all men are pigs." Gin added solemnly. "Don't worry miss, we shall put him in his place."

Another sob escaped the woman's lips. "Y-You would? Thank you so much!"

Kamui and Gin reassured her by nodding vigorously, but Shinpachi knew them better than that.

He didn't say anything when they dropped by the convenience store to get a few buckets of popcorn.

He didn't even point out how wrong it was to replace watching soap operas with watching real people fight.

He was also pretty sure they just ruined a marriage.

Gintoki went off to the nearest bar, giggling at his supposed ingenuity to make the woman pay upfront, leaving only Sadaharu, Kamui and him on the streets of Edo.

"You're not going to join him?" Shinpachi asked the Yato, who was technically old enough to drink and had even accompanied Gin more than once already.

Kamui shook his head. "Not today. Kagura is still in town, so I was going to show her around a bit later."

Shinpachi nodded approvingly. Anything was better than sucking up more of Gin's bad influence. Besides… "It's good to see you getting along with her. Family is important."

Kamui tilted his head to the side thoughtfully. "Hmmm, getting along isn't exactly the word I'd use. It's more like she isn't actively trying to kill me anymore."

"W-Well, you know what they say." Shinpachi muttered. "Baby steps are a good start."

* * *

"Will you stop being such a baby?!"

"Will you stop pulling my hair, woman?!"

Okita tried prying the girl off of himself, but the fully recovered Yato overpowered him easily, holding him down on the floor. "That's what you get for biting me!" She hissed at him.

"That's because you were trying to suffocate me!" He reached out for the nearest object, grabbing it and shoving it towards the Amanto who was back at trying to turn him into a mirror image of her bald father.

To his dismay, he had only gotten hold of a pillow. China blinked at the soft, white object in confusion, then she broke out in laughter.

"You- You didn't actually think you were going to do a lot of damage with that, did you?" She choked out between laughs.

He bit down on his lip, trying not to join in on her infectious laughter, but failed.

Their laughter mingled to create a cacophony, but they didn't care. At least, he didn't care.

Perhaps this started off as a mistake. Maybe this was wrong.

But he honestly, whole-heartedly, did not give a damn about that.

She was close enough for him to just reach out and… Their laughter died down with him reaching up in order to straighten a few stray strands of her hair, brushing her skin ever so slightly in the process. He sat up slowly, meeting her eyes on eye level.

She observed him with interested eyes, her lips pulling into a pout when he suddenly squished her cheeks between his fingers.

"You already look so much better. Now you look like the pig you are." He mused, pinching her cheeks just a bit tighter, earning him retaliation in the form of China nearly tearing off the skin of his face. He let out a pained chuckle, letting go.

He rubbed his sore cheeks after she had eventually let go as well.

He heard her sigh heavily. "This is a mess. We are a mess." She had meant that both literally and figuratively, to which he agreed.

"We can be each other's mess." He mumbled absentmindedly, not realizing he had said the cheesiest thought he had ever had out loud.

"That'd be weird." China remarked, wrinkling her nose. "But kinda nice." A blush spread over her face, and he noted that she could totally be a cute idol or such if one were to do something about her terrible personality.

The terrible personality he was oddly fond of.

"Actually, it'd just be really weird." China rambled on, overthinking things again.

A grin split on to his face, and he was cupping her face again. He seriously needed to stop touching her face.

She glared at him lightly, wordlessly daring him to pinch her cheeks again, and while it was very tempting, he had something else in mind.

He leaned in closer towards her, only stopping when there was less than an inch between their noses. He stared straight in to her ocean-like eyes.

"You think too much." He whispered breathily, before eliminating the last remnants of distance between them.

Hopefully she wouldn't give him a concussion this time.

Their lips met, and to his relief she relaxed into him, allowing him to pull her closer with one arm, the other trailing to the back of her head, his fingers getting caught in her hair.

Her mouth still tasted like all the snacks she had eaten without his permission.

* * *

When the head nurse had barged into the room, it was needless to say that Kagura had been thrown out promptly, and she had left without a single fuss. Apparently even fearsome space pirates knew better than to mess with upset medical staff.

He also received quite the earful on receiving new injuries, property damage and bringing a girl into his room.

Additionally he had to deal with Hijikata's reprimanding, as well as the trigger-happy Matsudeira.

But it was alright. It was worth it.

She was worth it.

* * *

Kagura still felt somewhat light-headed and her heart was still racing when she stepped out of the hospital, the events of the past hour finally catching up to her completely.

She buried her red face in her palms, wondering how she had let things take the turn they did. She didn't come here to make out with the earthling.

Clearing her thoughts, she remembered the official purpose of her stay in Edo. Weeding out the leftover Harusame members that still thought they stood a chance against the seventh division.

"Commander." A voice called out to her. She looked up to meet Abuto's eyes and greeted him with a nod.

"You forgot your umbrella." He held the newly repaired purple parasol out to her, which she accepted with a quick thanks.

Then she frowned. "How did you know where I was?"

Abuto looked to the side guiltily, a tell-tale sign that he was looking for a plausible lie in his mind.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Abuto…"


	16. No Such Thing As Unconventional

Kagura let a small smile form on her lips when she heard another person slide on to the bench next to her.

"I'm glad to see you're alright." Soyo's voice greeted her as she opened her eyes, glancing over at the princess.

The smile grew into a confident smirk. "Hah, as if something like that would bother me."

Soyo giggled, and the two of them sunk into a comfortable silence, Soyo's head coming to a rest on Kagura's shoulder. The wind rustled through the tree shading them from the sun, and in the distance a few children were playing with a ball.

"It's a shame I won't see for a while." The princess suddenly spoke up, her voice breaking the silence. "I was hoping I could show you around the castle or something like that."

"I wish I could stay longer as well." Kagura admitted heavy-heartedly.

Soyo let out a long sigh and puffed up her cheeks. "Now I'll be all alone with my big brother, and he'll keep on complaining about the tea I make. Ah, I know! I'll have you try some of my tea, then you can tell him exactly how 'nasty' it is."

Kagura let out a strained chuckle at that. There was a heavy weight in her throat, but she swallowed it down. "My brother used to do the same thing." She managed to say after a lot of contemplation. "He'd always complain that the rice I make was too soggy."

A pause.

Soyo interlocked their hands, giving Kagura's one a firm squeeze, then shifted her head so that she was looking up at her. "But he'd eat it anyway, right?"

"Yeah." She managed to whisper in response.

Soyo smiled at her. "You've changed. And I think it was for the better."

Kagura exhaled loudly and leaned back, letting her head fall backwards and stared up through the mass of leaves above her, flecks of the blue sky peeking through. "You think so? Because I feel… lost."

"That's alright." The princess reassured her. "You still have plenty of time to find your way."

The redhead blinked at her best friend before bursting out in laughter. "W-what the hell? Are you some kind of wise old sage or something like that? Where are you pulling these lines out of?"

"Perhaps." Soyo mused theatrically. "Maybe I was cursed by an evil witch to take on the form of a beautiful young princess, but in reality I'm a slimy old geezer."

The two girls looked at each other before breaking into laughter.

"I'm going to miss you." Kagura wheezed out as their laughter died down. "I really am."

"Me too. But you'll come back, right? After you're done cleaning up."

Kagura smiled. "Yep, I'll be back."

* * *

"Commander, we have determined the location of the next Elder's meeting. We're set and ready to leave whenever you are."

Kagura dismissed Abuto with a wave of her hand, still looking at the Edo skyline without any particular thought on her mind.

Correction, she had too many things on her mind that they all just disappeared into one big monotonous hum.

The past week buzzed through her memories, her awkward afternoon with her brother, the choppy conversation with her father that only ended with her punching him and him pulling at her hair, telling her she'd be bald one day as well, her meeting with Soyo in the park, and, well, whatever it was that had happened between her and the earthling police officer.

She still couldn't name whatever it was, but it made her feel happy and nauseous at the same time. Like the times she overeats her favourite dishes.

One of her subordinates passed her, dragging the body of a battered Harusame member behind him, pulling her out of her distracting thoughts.

She steeled herself. After all, she was a Captain first and a woman second.

Strutting through her spaceship with every inch of pride in her soul, she pulled her coat over her shoulders and let an amused grin cross her face.

"Alright, everybody! It's time to crash a party."

Cheers of approval echoed through the ship as the Seventh Division set out to wreak havoc on a certain old men's tea party.

It was good to be back in control.

* * *

"I swear, you're just doing this to skip out on work." Hijikata grumbled, leaning out of the broken hospital window to light his cigarette. "I'll have you know that there's a mountain of paper work in your office with your name on it."

"Whatever, Hijikata." Okita replied uncaringly as he continued sifting through some random magazine he found. "If I ignore it long enough, somebody else will surely do it for me."

"It's because of people like you that our society is so fucked up." His superior grumbled, throwing the remains of his cigarette out of the window and settling into the visitor's chair next to the bed.

"I heard the China girl stopped by. You better start talking, Sougo. The surveillance footage of the ship you were on was wiped clean, and the two of you killed literally everybody else on that ship. Right now, you're our only information source since she also disappeared into space."

Okita perked at that piece of information. "So, the pig decided to run away into space again? How unsurprising." He scoffed out loudly, quite contrary to his inner thoughts.

A small part of him felt betrayed, because she suddenly left without saying a word. Another part of him reminded her that she had no obligation towards to him. There was nothing tying her to him.

Hijikata eyed him strangely, but continued his report nonetheless. "The princess didn't give us any additional information either. As it stands, all we know is that the two of you wiped out a ship full of Amanto, and that it's somehow connected to what happened to the compound involving the Joishishi and the Kiheitai, who both have disappeared without trace as well."

He looked up from the clipboard. "If you fill in the holes, I'll push your paperwork onto somebody else."

Okita's eyes flitted from the article about dog shampoo he was currently reading to Hijikata's face. The offer was tempting, honestly.

"The ship belonged to the Eighth Division of the Harusame." He supplied, then redirected his attention back to the article.

Hijikata pulled out a pen – was it seriously shaped like a mayonnaise bottle? – and began jutting down notes. "So it was the Eighth Division, after all. I guess we can assume that the Division is wiped out now, considering the fact that the Joishishi took care of the rest of them during the fray."

Okita turned to the next page of his magazine. "The admiral was on that ship as well." He said off-handedly.

Hijikata audibly stopped writing. "Did he manage to escape or something?"

"No, China killed him after he…" Okita paused. "It doesn't matter, his corpse should've been in that one really fancy dining room."

When Hijikata didn't respond nor continue writing, Okita glanced over the top edge of the magazine. "Is something wrong? Do you have indigestion because of all the mayonnaise you inhale?"

"From the reports we have, the admiral should be a fat, short, balding Amanto, right?" His superior inquired seriously.

"That's how his corpse looked."

"There was no corpse matching that description on the ship when it landed here." Hijikata informed him.

"That's impossible." Okita muttered. "She rammed a knife into his throat."

Hijikata frowned. "I have a bad feeling about this."

* * *

Kagura snapped her fingers, and on command her subordinates dropped the bag on the ground. She wrinkled her nose at the foul smell, but kept the confident smirk on her face regardless.

The Elders were still glaring at her, trying to hide their fear, doing so quite poorly.

"Captain Kagura, what is the meaning of this?" One of the braver ones demanded angrily.

"Oh, this?" She smiled playfully. "After you presented me with such a lovely gift, I couldn't help but look for something of equal value to give to you in return. To show my everlasting gratitude, of course."

The tense atmosphere only fuelled her want to make fun of them. "So when the opportunity way presented itself, I immediately thought about what a lovely surprise this would be for you. I hope you appreciate it."

She loosened the string on the bundle, releasing the pungent smell of decomposing Amanto into the room. While the corpse itself wasn't all that identifiable anymore, the stature and tell-tale coat of the person in question were a dead giveaway.

"Admiral Abou!" One of the Elders exclaimed in shock. Hushed whispers followed as the others caught on to the realization as well.

Meanwhile, Kagura began clapping her hands slowly. "I'm so proud of you for recognizing him! I would have stored him in the fridge, but I didn't want his sleaze to be anywhere near my precious food, so the garbage hall it was."

"This can only be seen as treason, Captain Kagura. I hope you are aware of that." One of the Elders explained sternly.

"Hmm, let's see about that. You betrayed me, then I betrayed you. Two negatives make a positive, right?" She shot them a blinding smile.

The Elder next to him scoffed loudly. "Surely you don't beli-"

"Two negatives make a positive,  _right_?" Her tone dropped, leaving no space for arguments.

The Elder grew red-faced, but kept quiet.

"Captain Kagura." Another Elder, one who kept quiet until now, spoke up. "Now that things have come this far, what do you suggest we do about it? Surely you've thought that far ahead."

A broad smirk danced on the Yato's lips at his challenging tone. "It's simple. Replace him with somebody more capable."

"Do you have somebody specific in mind?" Another one questioned snappishly.

She laughed, dramatically twirling her arm around before pointing at herself. "Yup."

* * *

"Commander, what should we do with this?" Kagura turned to the subordinate who asked her the question, her eyes trailing to the object in question. Admiral Asshole's carcass.

"Throw it into the next recycle station."

"Got it!"

She watched them carry the bag off and smiled to herself. That would make one waste of space less.

"I'm surprised they didn't put up more of a fight." Abuto remarked after coming to a halt beside her.

"It's not like they really had that many options." Kagura shrugged in response. "Besides, I'm sure I'll look great in an admiral's coat."

"That's not the issue here." Abuto sighed. "You are aware that there is a ton of paperwork involved in this, right?"

"You have to think out of the basket, Abuto." She chided her second-in-command, then dragged him to the closest window.

"It's 'box', commander. 'Box', not 'basket'." He corrected her, but she ignored it.

"That doesn't matter, you get what I mean." She paused for a moment, her large blue eyes looking off into the endless distance outside of the window.

"No matter how many times I see it, it still leaves me breathless every time." She commented, changing the subject abruptly. "It makes me think about the wide, vast universe and the endless possibilities it represents."

Abuto raised a brow. "Is this conversation leading anywhere?"

She gave him a mysterious smile. "It is, but I'm not telling you quite yet."

The blonde Yato sighed in exasperation. His captain was up to something again, and he really didn't want to know what.

* * *

Kagura briefly swept her eyes across the contract before her, then deemed it boring, skilfully folding the first page into a paper plane. When the door to her office opened, she sent the plane flying towards the doorway.

"Commander, you really shouldn't be doing things like this to clients' contracts." Abuto scolded her, but to no avail.

"I wouldn't have signed it anyway. It was full of bullshit conditions and wold have left us at a huge disadvantage." She explained lazily, already scanning the next paper. This one didn't live much longer than its predecessor, quickly landing in Kagura's overflowing paper bin.

"I don't think the Elders would approve."

She rolled her eyes dramatically. "Since when do we care what the Elders think?"

"Since you started representing them."

That seemed to shut her up for a moment, giving Abuto to opportunity to bring up the matter he wanted to discuss with her initially. "That aside, why are we setting course for earth?"

That same mysterious smile crossed her lips. "Maybe I'm in the mood for some tempura."

* * *

To say he was surprised was an understatement.

When he left for his patrol that morning, somewhat reluctantly, too, he wasn't expecting much from the day. It was sunny, some stray clouds drifting across the azure sky, he ran into Kamui, they had a brief scuffle, and then he sat down on one of the benches in the park, stretching out his legs and pulling his sleeping mask across his eyes.

"Hey."

When he first heard the female voice, he thought his treacherous mind was playing cruel tricks on him, so he dismissed it as a dream.

A few seconds later, a pair of fingers were painfully squishing his cheek. "Oi, wake up!"

Grumpily, he slapped the hand away, using his other hand to lift his sleeping mask, preparing himself to glare the living daylights out of her, but when his eyes met her ocean blue ones, he was too caught up in them to glare at her.

"I need you to do me a favour." She declared once she was sure she had his attention. She had his attention alright. Was that coat she was wearing…?

"A favour?" He raised a brow at her, expertly masking his confusion and disappointment.

She nodded. Her being so civil was unsettling, but Okita chose to hear her out anyway.

"I need to talk to your superiors about something. I considered asking Soyo right off the bat," She awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck, "but Abuto said I had to do things properly because I have certain responsibilities."

"Wouldn't doing things properly consist of you going through our reception? We don't pay those guys to sit around idly all day, you know?" He answered a bit harsher than intended, but in his mind it was justified.

She just left one day, and now she's suddenly back, making use of him to the fullest without breaching the topic he actually wants them to be talking about.

A look of pure exhaustion crossed her face. "Trust me, I've had enough of paper work for the next five decades."

While that feeling was completely relatable for him, he was still hesitant to give in to his urge to do this for her.

In the moment he took to think things over, she settled onto the bench right next to him. "When negotiations are over, I'd like to talk about… us."

He glanced over at her. "Us?"

"You know what I mean."

And he did.

"Fine. I'll talk to Kondou. Come by the compound around sunset. You do still know where it is, right?" He succumbed to her wish eventually. A small voice at the back of his mind noted that this probably wouldn't be the last time this would happen.

"Thank you." She said earnestly, and Okita raised a brow in surprise.

"Okay, seriously, are you feeling okay?" He muttered under his breath, more to himself than to her, but she blessed him with a soft smile.

"Better than ever."

* * *

The atmosphere was stiff, to say the least. Okita fidgeted slightly in his kneeling position, glancing over at the three people sitting next to him.

Chief Kondou and Hijikata were looking at their guests with serious expressions and stiff backs, much in contrast to Director Matsudeira, who happened to be there and decided to stay, and was currently lounging about, helping himself to the secret stash of sake Kondo kept around.

"Despite everything, I don't think we ever got around to formally introducing ourselves to each other." Kondou started off their conversation with a kind smile.

"It is quite a shame." Kagura admitted. "However, I hope it isn't too late for that."

"Of course not." Kondou laughed, waving his hand dismissively.

"Let's leave that in the past. My name is Isao Kondou, and I'm the Chief of the Shinsengumi. This is my superior, Director Matsudeira." With that he gestured to the perverted old man who was busy scrolling through his phone. He paused awkwardly, waiting for said old man to say something as well, but resorted to clearing his throat when nothing happened.

"And, eh, this is Toshiro Hijikata, the Vice-Chief here. I believe you are already acquainted with him, but this is Sougo Okita, our First Division Captain."

Kagura bowed in acknowledgement, and Okita reminded himself to praise her for that later.

"My name is Kagura, and I am the current admiral of the Harusame space pirates. This is-"

Before she could continue, she was interrupted by the sound of something hitting the ground. Everyone turned their heads to the source of the sound, revealing itself to be Matsudeira who had dropped the bottle of sake he was drinking from.

"What was that?" He inquired. "You? The admiral?"

Okita sighed inwardly. He could guess what happened to that one missing corpse…

Kagura's hand twitched, but she remained professional. "Yes, as I was saying, this is my second-in-comm-"

"You're too cute to be an admiral. I know this really good cabaret club where you'd fit in perfectly. What about it, Kagura?" The old man walked over to her, slinging his arm over her shoulder casually, ignoring the burning glare she shot him.

The moment his arm touched her, she extended her arm, keeping him away from herself. "As I was saying," she gritted out between her teeth, "this is Abuto, my second-in-command."

Kondou shot Matsudeira a worried look, then turned back to Kagura with a hesitant smile. "Eh, yes, nice to meet you."

With that he not-so-discreetly nudged Hijikata, who sighed and dragged their drunk director off the Yato who was slowly but surely losing her patience. They just rebuilt the compound, having her lose her temper would only cause more trouble.

"The pleasure is ours." She replied politely, as if Matsudeira was nothing but thin air. "I must also thank you for accepting my request to talk to you."

Her blue eyes blazed with honestly, making Okita wonder exactly what happened in the time period she was gone, and what she was here to talk about.

"Sougo put in a good word for you, and I trust him." Kondou explained proudly, making the blonde man in question feel just the slightest bit bashful.

A look of surprise passed her face, but it disappeared behind her professional mask as soon as it appeared. "I appreciate it." She answered simply.

"So what bring the leader of the universe's leading crime syndicate to my door?" Kondou inquired, switching to business mode.

"This." The redhead pulled a thick pile of papers out from under her cloak, slamming them on the ground before her. Okita swore he heard the floorboards creak under the weight.

His superior eyed the pile. "May I ask what this is?"

"A list of people I don't like."

Kondou chuckled half-heartedly, perspiring slightly at Kagura's dead-serious look. "That's a very long list. I hope we aren't included on it."

"Don't worry, you aren't."

"So… then why are you giving it to us?" He asked hesitantly.

"This is a list of Japanese officials who have ties to the Harusame." She explained, pushing the pile of papers towards them.

Kondou's jaw dropped. "How- What- Why?"

Okita's eyes widened slightly, as well, searching her face for any trace of her true intentions. What the hell was going on?

Kagura closed her eyes, took a deep breath and opened her eyes again, giving them a determined look. "You said it yourself. The Harusame is the universe's leading crime syndicate. However, we call ourselves space pirates. In my eyes, there's a big difference between organized crime and being a pirate."

Hijikata frowned at her. "So you're going to bring the Harusame down? For a reason like that?"

"You have no way of knowing this, but I joined the Harusame because I thought it was the only option I had. As a child, being a pirate sounded adventurous, but I soon learned that we were just a handful of many, and that our lives were filled with doing dirty work, following rules and paperwork." She elaborated. "And just recently, you were caught up in what was initially their attempt to purge me. Consider this an apology for the trouble that I caused you."

"I'm not buying it." Hijikata growled, taking a protective stance in front of Kondou.

"Let me put it in words that you monkeys will understand." Kagura grumbled darkly. "I'm too lazy to run an organization this large. Besides, I already got the newest technology to film the Elders' reactions when the news reaches them. Just take the papers and lessen my workload."

A few seconds passed during which Hijikata and Kagura stared each other down, but in the end it was the Demon-Vice-Chief who gave in first.

"Tch, that sounds too believable." He backed off, sitting back down next to Kondou. "Basically you give us information, and we take care of it for you, benefitting both of us."

She applauded him mockingly, making Okita's lip twitch upward. "You caught on, good doggy. Do you want a treat?"

Abuto nudged her harshly, and with a cough she slipped back in to her business persona. "Do we have a deal?"

Kondou crossed his arms, his eyes flickering to the bundle of papers. "Hmm, it's true that it would benefit both of us, and honestly there's no reason to turn your offer down, but there's something I've been wondering." He looked up at her. "Why us? You could have taken this straight to the Shogun, we know you have… befriended the princess."

Kagura wordlessly reached towards the stack of papers and took the second paper from the top, handing it to Kondou.

He glanced at the paper and grimaced. "I see." He said sadly, eyebrows furrowing.

"As I said earlier, there are no members of your force on this list. At least not living ones." She left the rest unspoken as a certain unpleasant memory came back to all of them.

Kondou rested his hand on the stack of papers. "Thank you." His voice was quiet, but it left an undeniable impact in the room. He stretched his other hand out to her and smiled weakly. "It was a pleasure doing business with you, Admiral Kagura."

She took the outstretched hand and gave it a firm shake. "The pleasure was all mine."

* * *

"That… wasn't what I was expecting." Okita confessed as he leaned against the compound wall.

Kagura, who had dismissed Abuto already, gave him a look. "What were you expecting?"

He shrugged. "I'm not sure. Just… not that."

Silence passed between them, only to be broken when Kagura spoke up again. "I… felt relieved when I found out that none of my division members were involved in the ploy against me. It made me realize just how much they mean to me."

"I'm also relieved to know that nobody betrayed Kondou." Okita responded. "But that's not what we were going to talk about, is it?"

Kagura leaned on the wall next to him, looking up at the sky. "My place is beyond that sky. Despite dissolving the Harusame, I still have responsibilities towards my division, and I will have to deal with the Elders sooner or later."

She took a deep breath. "I'll cut straight to the chase. I wouldn't know how to describe 'us'. To be honest, we hardly know each other, and I'm not ready to drop my responsibilities because of something I can't even name. Additionally, you're in the same predicament. Your place is here, in Edo, just as you have your responsibilities here."

Okita hummed in agreement. He understood what she was alluding to, and it wouldn't be so frustrating if she didn't have a valid point.

"Somebody once told me that I'd never find a girl willing to put up with my terrible personality for life." He admitted reluctantly. "That good looks and money weren't going to cut it in my case. But I didn't really care. I never saw myself as a dutiful husband, and I live on the verge of death every day. I don't need to be a psychic to be able to tell that you've never given romance a second thought either."

"Why would I?" Kagura sighed. "All I've ever seen romance lead to is tragedy."

Okita nearly laughed. "I guess we're more similar than we think, huh? I can relate to that too much for my own liking."

"What now?" Kagura asked, her eyes still focused on the starry sky above them.

Okita shrugged. "Somebody once told me that I'd never find a girl willing to put up with my horrible personality." He repeated, a playful tone to his voice. "But then one day I'm assaulted by a pig elephant with a terrible personality rivalling my own."

She glared at him lightly. "Oi, you're the one who assaulted me first. And who're you calling pig elephant?"

He ignored her, continuing instead. "And despite the fact that she tried to, and nearly succeeded in killing me several times, I can't help but want to be around her. I want to learn more about her. If I could, I'd put a leash on her and keep her by my side forever. But where would the fun in that be? It'd be too easy, right?"

Kagura scoffed. "No girl would stick around after hearing that."

The blonde captain smiled softly. "But you're still here, aren't you?"

He waited for her response, but all he got was strangled sound. He turned his head to see her burying her face in her hands, unsure of whether she was laughing or crying, or a weird mixture of both.

"I won't come to earth often, you know?" She said once she calmed down, eyes cast to the ground.

He pushed himself off the wall, taking the necessary steps to trap her between his arms.

"I know."

"And you're okay with that?" She looked up at him, her blue eyes wavering.

"I am." He grinned at her smugly. "I'll just have to make sure to give you a good reason to come back here more often. Maybe a parking fine. God knows where you illegal aliens park your vehicles."

A chuckle escaped her lips. "I'm a pirate, I don't pay my parking fines."

"Then I'll just have to give you a different reason, right?" He smirked at her before leaning down and capturing her lips in a heated kiss.

Sougo Okita doesn't need a picture-perfect wife with a perfect smile, hailing from a perfect family. He has everything he needs in the form of the vermillion-haired girl in his arms.

And they'd make things work, somehow.


	17. A Matter Of Perspective

The girl took a deep breath, preparing herself for what lied beyond these doors. The imposing wooden gate towered over her, making her feel small and meaningless.

"You can do this, you can do this, you can do this…" She silently whispered to herself, anxiously tugging at her black uniform and adjusting her collar.

" _I CAN'T DO THIS!"_ She mentally screamed to herself a few seconds later, ready to turn tail and run back home. They'd understand if she showed up in front of their doorstep, ready to give up on her silly dream. They'd definitely understand. They'd def-

"Excuse me, miss, do you need something?" A male voice dragged her out of her thoughts. She whipped her head around and looked at the black-haired man wearing an identical uniform to hers. Her eyes drifted to the shopping basket in his left hand, full of single-wrapped buns. Anpan, to be precise.

"Well, you see, I, erm, I…" She hopelessly stuttered while awkwardly scratching the back of her head.

The man took in her appearance, especially her outfit, and seemed to recall something. "Oh, you're that special new member, right?" He asked her while making a face of enlightenment.

"Yeah, I guess you could put it that way." She smiled apologetically while mentally slapping herself for the pitiful display. This was not the first impression she wanted to leave.

"Why didn't you just say so in the first place?" He offered her a kind smile. "My name is Sagaru Yamazaki, an inspector here." He introduced himself.

He seemed nice enough.

"I'm Minami Fujiwara, nice to meet you." She tentatively took his outstretched hand and gave it a firm shake.

"Why didn't you go in yet? I'm sure that the Vice-Chief is waiting for you." Yamazaki asked her while opening the door that was separating her from her unforeseeable future.

"You see, I…" She lamely started, breaking off her speech mid-sentence before she could embarrass herself any further. "I'm sorry."

"Ah, first day jitters, happened to all of us. You should have seen me in my first days at the Shinsengumi, I was an absolute wreck!" He chuckled at her while thinking back to images of Mountain Zaki. "Those sure were days…" he sighed nostalgically.

She gathered her wits, not really listening to what he was telling her as she stepped into the compound. This was her life from now on.

She took in the smell of her new home and wrinkled her nose immediately afterwards. The stench of sweat and old socks was stale in the air, and rows of men after men who were training outside, adding their sweat to the mixture, weren't exactly helping.

She hadn't been too sure what to expect, but then again, this wasn't her first time here. Back when many hopeful young men streamed to the Shinsengumi grounds, she had been amongst them, proving herself against her male colleagues. She wanted to show them that women weren't weak, and that they should also have the right to protect what they believe in. She wanted to prove that she could wield a sword like no other.

And yet here she was, letting her nerves get the better of her. She gulped as she strode next to Yamazaki, trying her best to look like the proud Fujiwara heiress she was, something which was unfortunately easier said than done. Her grip on the travel bag in her right hand tightened significantly as she felt the first stares in her direction, including the first few comments.

"Oi, oi, say one more thing about Miss Fujiwara and you're committing seppuku." A deep voice threatened. "She'll be living by the same bushido you do from now on."

Minami gulped as the tall black-haired man towering over her put a cigarette in his mouth and glanced down at her. "You're late."

"I'm sorry, there was just… stuff!" She quickly squealed an apology under his imploring gaze.

He furrowed his eyebrows between his parted bangs. "The last time I heard that excuse, the city sent us a bill for reparation money. It wasn't pretty." He grumbled as he lit his cigarette with an oddly-shaped lighter. Was that a mayonnaise bottle?

She held her breath as his gaze swept over her, cursing whatever was making her so fucking tense. If only she could loosen up and drop the nervousness, then everything would be fine.

"Well, I guess I'll show you to your assigned room and inform you about your position and your duties.

"Y-Yes, sir!" She answered without hesitation, hoping it wouldn't make things awkward again. She really wouldn't be able to deal with another pregnant pause like that…

She followed him in silence as he and Yamazaki lead her down the hallway and slid open the door on the far end. "This'll be your room. I can't promise anything, since you're the first female member we have, but you can come to me if you have any requests." He listed off monotonously. In other words, she shouldn't bother him with anything that isn't life-threatening.

"Of course, sir." She replied carefully while setting her bags down on the floor.

"You can get settled in later, but for now I'll show you where you'll be working from now on." He led her back down the hallway in the direction they came from. "As you are aware, newbies usually get the jobs nobody wants. We're no different." He threw a glance over his shoulder to see her reaction.

"I guessed that much." She confirmed, already regretting her life decisions.

He came to a stop in front of one of the rooms and knocked against the screen door. No answer. He let out an exasperated sigh and knocked again. Still no answer.

"You seem like a pretty headstrong person, so don't let him get to you, okay? If you do, you're committing seppuku." He stated gruffly as he forcefully slid open the door to the room.

Minami looked around, deducing that this was an office of sorts. There was a low table on one end of the room, multiple shelves with books and files and the other. Sheets of paper were scattered all over the floor, probably once part of the growing stack on the table.

But papers weren't the only thing on the table. A mop of long sandy hair in a long ponytail rested on the surface, face-down and snoozing away.

"Oi, Sougo, wake up!" The Vice-Chief of the Shinsengumi walked over to the sleeping figure and nudged it with his foot.

The figure groaned and slowly lifted its head, messy blond bangs falling over a red sleeping mask.

"Is it finally time for your funeral? Don't worry, I'll shoot your coffin into the sky with lots of fireworks…" He sleep-mumbled, letting his face fall flat on the surface once more.

Hijikata remained still for a second as a shadow cast itself over his face before he practically leapt over the table and pulled the sleeping blonde up by the collar of his uniform. "If you don't wake up right now, I'm sending you to Umibouzo drugged and gift-wrapped, got that?"

The blonde guy sighed and picked the Vice-Chief's hands off of his collar. "Can I arrest you for threatening my life?" He drawled lifelessly before letting out a long, exaggerated yawn. He glanced at the sun falling into the courtyard and shook his head. "Hijikata, you don't just wake people up that early in the morning, it's rude, you know?"

Hijikata took a deep, long breath. "If you want to sleep that long, spend the rest of the day with your buddy Kamui. I'm sure he'll be thrilled." He calmly pressed out between his teeth. "Now, back on topic," he pointed at Minami, "this is Minami Fujiwara. She'll be your new personal alarm clock and make sure you don't doze off when you're supposed to be working, as well as make sure that you stay on your patrol routes and don't pick fights with certain aliens long the way."

Minami frowned at her job description. That sounded an awful lot like…

"What is she, my baby-sitter?" The guy in question yawned.

Ignoring him, Hijikata turned back to face her. "This bastard here is Sougo Okita, our first Squad Captain. He has some weird perks, but is somewhat tolerable as long as you aren't me."

"Oh that reminds me, Happy Deathday, Hijikata!" Okita dug out a big round cake from under the table and throwing it in their direction.

The Vice-Chief muttered a few curse words under his breath before pushing Minami aside and saving himself as well. Yamazaki was already hiding behind the screen door, having predicted the trouble from afar.

Minami needed a few seconds to recover, but when she did, she saw the cake batter start eating its way through the wooden floorboards.

"Goddamnit, Sougo, what the hell did you put in there?!" A furious demon roared across the room.

Captain Okita rubbed the back of his head with an innocent smile on his face. "Milk from the planet Sowa. China asked me to test it and see whether humans could eat it."

"And you chose me to do that?!"

Minami was dumbfounded. This wasn't what she had expected.

* * *

"Yeah, I heard Umibouzo's coming tomorrow." One of the officers said while standing in front of the message board. "That's like, the fifth time this year already?"

The officer next him shrugged with his shoulders. "Well, that's just how it is. He's ju-"

"Umibouzo?! THE Umibouzo?!" Minami interrupted the two officers. At the name of the legendary alien hunter, she just couldn't keep quiet.

"Well, yeah, I mean, it's not really that exciting." The first of the two answered her in a bored tone.

She let her jaw drop into an offended expression. "The Umibouzo is quite special, of course we should be excited!" She retorted in disbelief.

"I forgot you've only been here for three weeks." The second guy sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, you're Captain Okita's assistant, right?"

She nodded in confirmation, even if 'assistant' was a euphemism of epic proportions.

"Then you'll be seeing a lot of him in the future. Don't worry, you'll understand tomorrow." He waved with one hand as the two of them left her behind in the hallway.

Minami tilted her head to the side in confusion. Was Captain Okita working together with Umibouzo?

* * *

The next day rolled in, and sure enough a mysterious man with a strong aura entered the compound, meeting with Chief Kondou in private. The rest of the officers didn't seem interested, merely continuing their daily routine all while Minami couldn't contain her excitement.

Umibouzo was a legend, the strongest fighter in the universe, and yet, he looked so normal. She knew he was a member of the Yato, a humanoid warrior race from far away, but him even walking past her just now was beyond her comprehension.

Her captain walked up behind her and yawned into his palm, half of his hair still messy from probably just waking up. "What're you doing here?" He grumbled out. "We have work to do."

"But Umibouzo is here." She spilled out without much thought, even though she knew that was hardly a valid excuse.

In contrary to her expectations, namely that Captain Okita would react the same way as everybody else, he tensed up and slipped his sleeping mask off his face in a practised manner.

"Fujiwara." He spoke up seriously. "We're leaving on patrol, NOW."

"Wh-" Before she could even question his actions and remind him that they weren't on patrol duty today, he had begun pushing her in front of himself towards the exit.

The sliding door behind them opened with force, revealing a battle-ready Umibouzo.

"You!" His voice thundered as he lifted a mechanical finger at Okita. "You are going to die today!"

Umibouzo hoisted his umbrella up, pointing the tip at the blonde man.

Minami looked at her captain, not able to comprehend the situation she had been caught up in, but failed to notice the moment he had spun her around and was holding her out in front of him like a shield.

"You wouldn't hurt an innocent bystander, would you?" She heard her captain sneer at the alien hunter, whose face twisted into a grimace beneath the bandages covering his face. "Collateral damage might be considered a crime in some people's eyes."

Umibouzo grunted. "Isn't endangering an innocent bystander also a crime?"

"She's only endangered if you pull that trigger."

Minami went wide-eyed recalling reading about the Yato's weapon, a machine gun umbrella. But that didn't explain their feud.

"I'm willing to walk over corpses to keep your scummy hands off her!" The Yato shouted in cold seriousness.

Minami blinked. Her? This whole ordeal… was about a woman?

"I think she walks over enough corpses on her own, don't you think?" Okita taunted, something Minami was beginning to think was a bad idea. He was up against  _Umibouzo_ , of all people!

"I don't care about that! The only thing I care about is my little girl! And I will tell you again: PAPI DOESN'T APPROVE!" The alien hunter yelled as he stormed towards the two of them.

Her captain muttered a few curse words under his breath before forcefully shoving her aside, pulling out his sword to intercept Umibouzo's large green umbrella.

Minami nearly fell to the ground after getting a taste of the captain's raw strength, but was caught by two hands, belonging to Chief Kondou.

"Umibouzo." He interrupted the two of them. The Yato looked up at him, Okita also pausing his movements to look at his superior.

Kondou gave them both a stern look, and Minami could feel his presence as a leader oozing out. He was going to be the mature one here and break this fight up, just like a Chief should.

"Please don't fight within the compound. We have training grounds for that."

What?

Umibouzo nodded in an apologetic manner. "Yes, terribly sorry."

With a well-aimed hit with his umbrella, Umibouzo shot Okita through the hallway, right through the screen doors that happened to open in that exact moment, before rushing after the now airborne Shinsengumi Captain.

"W-What?" Was all Minami could stutter out in confusion as Kondou steadied her on her own feet again.

Hijikata appeared behind them and motioned her to follow him as he headed in the direction that Umibouzo and Okita disappeared into.

Once they exited the building, they could see the two in question battling away in the distance, the Yato clearly having the upper hand.

To add to all the confusion, there was a red-haired young man standing outside of the entrance, accompanied by a large, white dog-like alien.

"Ah, Mayora." He greeted the Vice-Chief in a rather disrespectful fashion, but before Minami could interject Hijikata acknowledged the kid with a grunt and a nod.

"What're you doing here?" He asked while putting a cigarette between his lips and lighting it.

The redhead gestured towards the fighting duo. "I thought the baldy was going to show up here before coming over to our place, so I decided to drop by before things got too out of hand."

"Don't call me baldy! Call me your cool-headed dad!" Umibouzo's form stilled in the distance as he shouted across the training ground.

"I'll call you whatever I want to, good-for-nothing old man!" The redhead shouted back.

Then he shook his head and redirected his attention towards Hijikata and Minami, only now noticing the young female.

"Oh, so you decided to let a girl join your all-men's club?" He asked, his voice laced with surprise.

Hijikata nodded. "Yeah, it's time for some reformation amongst us. If you haven't realized yet, all the women in this series are awfully powerful."

"Mhm." The redhead complied, before introducing himself to Minami. "By the way, I'm Kamui, the King of the Kabuki District. You may refer to me as Your Majesty." He flashed her a smile that somehow glistened in the sunlight.

"No, you don't. Don't go along with his nonsense, Fujiwara, that's an order." Her Vice-Chief interjected.

"Erm, Minami Fujiwara." She awkwardly replied, not quite having the grasp on the situation yet. "So, er, Vice-Chief, what's going on?" She turned towards her superior in search of answers.

He exhaled some smoke. "I would've thought you'd have already met China Boy here on your patrols with Sougo." He explained. "But apparently that's not the case."

"Oh, so you assigned her to the Sadist. That's kind of cruel, isn't it?" Kamui asked.

"Well, newbies get the job nobody else wants." Hijikata said before continuing his explanation. "Anyway, China Boy here is Umibouzo's son and the brother of Sougo's girlfriend."

The wheels in Minami's mind started turning and turning, until everything fell into place. Umibouzo had referred to himself as 'papi' and 'dad' just now, disapproving of Okita's relationship with 'her'.

That made sense now, he was just a father who was after his daughter's boyfriend. But there was still one problem here…

"Captain Okita has a girlfriend?" She blurted out in disbelief.

He may be good-looking, but honestly, that was all he had going for himself. He was awfully lazy and unreliable, not to mention his obvious disrespect to others, all-in-all he was pretty crappy personality-wise. To top that off, he had some pretty unconventional hobbies…

"Hahahaha, well, we were also surprised at first, but he grew up so quickly, and she's actually a really nice girl, right Toshi?" The Chief, who had magically appeared behind them, chuckled while nudging Hijikata.

The Vice-Chief merely narrowed his eyes at his superior and mumbled "Why am I the mom again?" Then he sighed and continued in normal volume. "Nice girl? You forgot to mention the part where she created an alliance with two of the greatest terrorists on this planet, took control of a space syndicate and practically levelled the Shinsengumi compound."

Minami let her jaw drop open, she didn't care anymore. "That sounds like some sort of monster."

"Well, we're Yato, what do you expect?" Kamui added lazily.

It hadn't quite sunk in that this guy was, in fact, Umibouzo's son. He looked so inconspicuous, save his rather bright hair colour, even slightly feminine with his long hair and facial features.

"Wait wait wait wait wait!" She suddenly jumbled. "Space syndicate? She took control of a space syndicate?! What?! Isn't that illegal?"

"Oh, maybe I shouldn't have said that." Hijikata mumbled in realization, but figured it was too late to take back his words since nobody seemed to correct him.

He awkwardly scratched the back of his head. "How do I put this?"

The question was never answered due to a certain captain crashing into the ground between them.

* * *

When she asked her captain what the whole fiasco was about, he had shrugged it off and said a dismissive "Nothing."

But that sure as hell didn't look like nothing.

And, to top it all off, she really wanted to meet this girl now. The daughter of Umibouzo should be an entity recognized throughout the universe, but if his son was lounging around in an area like Kabuki, who knows what his daughter was up to?

She was also very surprised by how… humane the legend was. He bickered with his son, told him to eat veggies and Kamui shot back comments about Umibouzo's non-existent hair.

That was also quite the revelation, when the cap came off and his bald head glittered in the daylight.

But back on topic, curiosity began eating away at her. Would she ever meet this mysterious woman?

* * *

"Captain Okita, you told me we had an important mission to attend to. You even woke up early because of it." Minami bit back her yawn, desperately trying to keep her eyes open. The sun wasn't even up yet, for heaven's sake.

"Mhm, I did." Her superior answered lazily, his eyes skimming over the display in front of him in full concentration.

Minami rubbed her eyes tiredly. "A mission of life and death, you said."

"Yes." He replied again, tapping his finger against his chin in thought.

"So…" She glanced around warily. "…why are we in a cake shop at this ungodly hour?"

"My girlfriend is coming back today. I was hoping to surprise her with her favourite cake, but I can't decide now that we're here. Do you think she'd prefer the chocolate or the strawberry cream? Or maybe the vanilla custard one?" He let out a deep sigh. "Maybe I should just get some of each?" He turned to her unexpectedly. "What do you think, Fujiwara?"

"I think I want to go back to bed." She mumbled grumpily. If her captain was going to drag her out of bed this early for such mundane reasons, she might as well ignore him. Vice-Chief Hijikata would surely understand her decision, probably even support it.

Captain Okita, who had clearly ignored her, continued humming pensively, a thoughtful frown on his face. "Although, it  _has_  been some time since I've seen her, maybe a tabasco cake?"

The woman behind the counter gave the two of them a patient, knowing smile, even giving Minami a cup of coffee on the house.

"It's always like this when she comes back to visit." The old lady sighed wistfully. "She must be such a lucky girl."

Minami, in her sleepy haze, briefly remembered the horror stories surrounding said girl, but didn't have the heart to correct the old lady.

Besides, Captain Okita was sporting a grin that was up to no good.

* * *

"Can I go back to bed now?" She yawned, covering her mouth with her free hand. The other one was currently occupied carrying an overabundant amount of cakes.

No wonder the old lady didn't say anything else, her captain seemed like the source of half her income.

"No." He replied curtly. "We still have a mission ahead of us."

Minami shot him a glare. "I thought our mission was buying cakes."

He looked at her as if she was crazy. "Do you really think we get paid for doing mundane things like that?"

She felt her eyebrow twitch in annoyance, sucking in a deep breath to keep herself from exploding. "Honestly, with the way you behave, I just might believe that." She grumbled under her breath.

"Well, that aside, we'll be meeting up with them at the terminal, then we need to fill out some reports and other unimportant paperwork, check their cargo…" He began listing their tasks for the day on his hand, pausing towards the end. "I haven't actually told you what we are doing yet, have I?"

"No, but I don't care as long as I can go back to sleep once we're done." She could hardly keep her eyelids up anymore, and the sun still hadn't risen.

"If you say so." He shrugged, leading the way to the terminal.

* * *

"You say you love me," The pretty girl rose a sceptical brow. "Yet the first thing you do when you see me is give me paperwork. Can't help but see something wrong in that pattern."

"The carrot and the stick, China. Just sign it already." Her captain passed the clipboard and a pen to the red-haired girl.

They were in a large cargo bay in the Edo terminal, other members of the first division who arrived shortly after them already inspecting crates of god-knows-what.

"Fujiwara, are you taking notes?" Her superior inquired, to which she nodded and jutted something down on her own clipboard.

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched the vermillion-haired girl frown at something on the import form she was filling out. The girl was pretty, really pretty. She definitely shared many traits with her brother.

"Why do I have to fill this out every time? You know I don't like paperwork." The redhead grumbled darkly.

"Maybe I just like watching you suffe-" Before Captain Okita even had the chance to finish his ridiculous sentence, the girl had hit him on the head with the clipboard in her hand.

Rubbing his head, no doubt heavily injured, her captain glowered at the girl who was supposedly his girlfriend. Minami took a few more notes and sighed.

How insane did you have to be in the first place to even consider dating a Yato, anyways?

She shook her head. The same could be said for the girl, after all, who would willingly date somebody like Captain Okita?

"Fujiwara! Can you come over here please!" Akabane, one of the men called out to her, and she complied without a second thought.

"We have all the items in the crates listed here, as well as the registration numbers. You just need to bundle these with your report and give them to Chief Kondou later." He explained, handing a few papers to her at the same time.

She furrowed his eyebrows. "I should give them straight to the Chief? Are you sure I shouldn't run them past Captain Okita first?"

Akabane chuckled nervously at that. "Yeah, protocol says so, but we make an exception in this case. It'd be a miracle if Captain Okita pays attention to any of us for the next few days."

Minami followed his line of sight, watching the redhead and her captain interact. She was currently eyeing a piece of cake suspiciously, holding it out to one of her subordinates. The subordinate made a move to refuse, but a glare later he was gobbling the piece of cake down like a champ.

His entire face immediately turned blue, and the girl stemmed her hand on her hips, giving Captain Okita a hard look, which lead to him grinning back at her.

"You get used to it." Akabane shrugged. "Chief Kondou doesn't say anything either. Besides, as long as she is around, he's less irritable, hell, even borderline tolerant."

"Why doesn't he just marry her in that case?" Minami asked, a hopeful imagination of a more tolerable superior blooming in her mind.

"Well, it might have something to do with the fact that she's a pirate."

Minami blinked. "Huh?"

"What do you mean 'huh'? Didn't Captain Okita explain this to you?"

"Uhh…" Minami glanced to the side, a shameful blush spreading on her cheeks. "I kind of ignored it."

He glowered at her. "You do know what we are doing here, right?"

Her eyes wandered to her clipboard. "Honestly, I just want to go back to sleep."

"Fine, I'll explain," He sighed. "In short, she used to be one of the Harusame captains, the Lightning Spear of the seventh division, to be exact."

"The Harusame? Aren't they, like, really old history?"

"It's only been five years, don't devalue them like that. That aside," He cleared his throat. "A lot of stuff happened and she ended up taking over the Harusame and ended up dissolving it for some reason. At the same time she made a deal with Director Matsudeira and Chief Kondou, but the details are top-secret. All we know is that she gets to import all this stuff for free in exchange for information."

Minami narrowed her eyes at him. "Somehow, that explains so little and so much at the same time."

* * *

True to Akabane's words, she hardly saw anything of Captain Okita over the next week. Chief Kondou wordlessly accepted her report and everybody continued their daily lives, a little livelier in the absence of a certain sadistic captain.

The most notable benefactor of the situation was definitely Vice-Chief Hijikata, who was currently humming an upbeat tune of what sounded vaguely similar to that one anime opening.

He took lit his cigarette with a small smile on his face. "Life is a wonderful thing, Fujiwara. Never forget that."

She glanced at him warily. "I never noticed how much Captain Okita… effected the overall mood at the compound."

He held up his hand. "Let's not talk about 'that', Fujiwara. We wouldn't want to disrupt the peace, would we?"

"Ah, of course not." She answered hesitantly.

Silence sat in the air between them. "Is this really okay, though?" She questioned after a while.

"Is what okay?" He exhaled a large cloud of smoke.

"The influence their relationship has on our lives. I mean, how are things going to be if they were to break up?"

Vice-Chief Hijikata looked out into the distance. "Trust me, that's not going to happen. He's not going to let her go."

Minami frowned. "She's a space pirate. She could disappear off to some corner of the universe and never come back easily."

"And Sougo would follow her all the way there just to drag her back. He'd probably even take paid vacation, that little dipshit." Hijikata's mood dimmed at the subject of his least favourite subordinate.

Minami laughed at that. "He would, wouldn't he?"

"I don't think you need to worry about that, Fujiwara." Another voice spoke up.

"Chief Kondou…good afternoon." She greeted him as he sat down on the porch next to them.

The man had a wistful smile on his face. "Love is something wonderful that you should believe in. And I believe that their love is unbreakable."

The Vice-Chief scoffed loudly. "No, they just break everything else in the process."

"Don't think about the details, Toshi. Don't think about the details."

* * *

Two years passed, the same pattern of Captain Kagura visiting and a few peaceful days passing in the Shinsengumi compound repeating itself over and over countless times.

Minami was happy to note the increase in female co-workers, to the point that they got a department of their own.

Those peaceful moments, however, came to an end quite soon.

"I'm having this awful sense of déjà vu." She groaned as the moon greeted her after she was rudely woken by Captain Okita in the early morning hours.

"Nonsense, Fujiwara. Besides, I need your help with something." He was being too nice to her, she noted suspiciously.

"If you stepped on a pile of poop again, I'm not cleaning your shoes." She grimaced at the memory of the last time that happened.

"No, not that. You come from a family of contractors, right?"

She raised her eyebrow. "Um, yes. Why?"

"I've been thinking about investing in a house. I was hoping you could give me a few tips?"

She frowned. "Why would you need a house? Don't you already have a large room at the compound?"

"Ah, well, you see…"

* * *

Minami felt the life drain out of her slowly, but surely.

A young girl with sandy twintails slid underneath the table, having the nerve to blow a raspberry at her, her bright blue eyes dancing with mischief.

"Come back here!" She called out to the little girl, but she just ran out from the other side and giggled while disappearing around the corner.

A pained cry echoed from the direction the girl disappeared into, and after scrambling after her, Minami let out a long sigh at the sight that greeted her. One of the recruits was clutching his leg, tears streaming down his face while a confused little girl was standing next to him and prodding his cheek.

Another figure stepped into the picture, picking up the little girl with ease. "Now now, sweetheart. You should be more careful with your toys."

"Grandpa!" The blonde girl exclaimed happily, tugging at the man's toupee until it came off.

"Sorry about that." Minami said tiredly, approaching Umibouzo. "I'll keep a better eye on her next time."

"Please do. Also thank you for babysitting her."

The legendary alien cawed at the girl who squealed in delight and began reaching for his thinning moustache.

Minami's mood dimmed as his sentence rang in her mind, one word in particular.

_Babysitting, babysitting, babysitting…_

After working herself up the food chain, all these years, she was reduced to what she was when she initially came here.

A babysitter.

"Are you alright? You look really pale?" Umibouzo asked her suddenly. "I can take over looking after her, if you want."

"I was just hit by the realization of my crippling insignificance in this world." She mumbled.

"Influenza?" The little girl mimicked, tilting her head to the side in confusion. Her attention span was short, however, and soon she began chasing after the gorilla that appeared at the other end of the hallway.

Umibouzo laughed loudly and followed her, leaving behind a both mentally and physically exhausted Minami.

A loud crash sounded through the compound, and she knew that the little girl broke something again. With a groan, she followed the source of the commotion, just in time to see Captain Okita and his wife praising their daughter, who was grinning back at them with a million-dollar smile, in complete disregard of the injured men behind them.

Umibouzo patted the little girl on the head approvingly, to which she smiled even brighter.

 _Screw my dreams,_  Minami thought.  _I should just go home. They'd definitely understand._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this story! And special thanks to everyone who left kudos and/or left a comment!
> 
> Speaking of which, it's never too late to leave a comment to show you enjoyed something!


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